[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

@bigFishAndTheSmallPondets  what a lovely song!!!

First impression is that the vocal (as you've noted) needs to be redone - it's riding hot I think.. but that's a minor thing. Your voice and the sentiment in the delivery are spot on so a recrecord with the right levels will sort that out quickly..

In summary - great song, great vox and playing .. needs a bit of work on the engineering front... so completely fixable .

LOVE IT!

K

So glad you liked the song @MonnoDB. I guess the blueprint is there but a bit more attention to the production will help. Thank you for listening.

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Hello mate,

Well the melody is King here. It’s fab! You sound great! I do feel it would shine even brighter with some backing vocals…ooohs/aaaahs and some harmonies. I agree that the backing could be a bit more dynamic….it’s definitely worth doing aswell, cos it’s a lovely song! Congrats!😄🎶👊🏻🎶

Thank you mate. So pleased you liked it.

I agree, some harmonising would enhance the song. Will have to think about this one!

Thanks again for listening and for the kind words @LostBoy.

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Hello,

This is not a new song. This is a new arrangement for a previous track. Do hope I am not going against the rules of the forum in posting this.

The original production for the song was a little basic, so I recorded another version as follows:

https://soundcloud.com/big-fish-small-pondettes/ten-years-smiling-1

I went for a more complex rock/synth sound, a little like The Killers, or so I'd like to think.

The following were kind enough to write some very supportive words about the original version:

@pompeyjazz, @moraamarolaloba, @rightly, @ChrisPrice, @cowparsleyman, @LostBoy, @IronKnee, @MonnoDB

I do hope you guys like this one too.

Best wishes as always.

Hi guys,

Do hope you've all been keeping well and safe in these difficult times.

This year my wife and I celebrated ten wonderful and happy years of marriage. As a gift, I wrote a song for her.

Unfortunately, I struggled with the deadline of our anniversary! The vocal delivery, in particular, needs another go. I also feel the song could benefit from a more complex production. In it's current form, I feel it has the bare bones but I will try to come back to this one when I can, and give her the song she deserves.

My wife and I like Disney, writing and travelling so I included references to this in the lyrics.

Do hope you like it. Take care everyone.

https://soundcloud.com/big-fish-small-pondettes/ten-years-smiling

Ten Years Smiling

See this face beaming bright and true.
Ten years smiling because I've got you.

Each moment filled my heart.
One seven nine eleven was the start.

Oh...

Baby you made me lucky always,
Daily I thank God for you girl,
You lit skies above me,
We danced for the stars.

Baby, nothing feels so good as,
Crazy for you every day.
You give all I want for,
Just by loving me.



Disney never could imagine you,
Princess perfect coming out the blue.

Sunrise, we live anew
Happy ever after right on cue.

Oh...

Annie, how divine that you can
Hand me truly Goddess love.
I just can't believe it.
I'm the one who walks with you.

Show me the story that you want and,
Slowly I'll make it all come true,
You write lines of love and,
I'll bind the book for you



This tin man long ago lacked a heart
Your hand in mine makes a journey start

From you I'll never run,
Make me whole and the game is won.

Oh....

Sweetheart you're the love of my life,
Beat heart, drumming for my wife.
I am lost without you,
There's just something about you.

Some day I might just deserve you,
Please stay while I earn my place.
You're too good to be true,
You just being you.

[PaulyX]

Hi, I listened to both versions. I thought the first one had a lovely homespun warm feel to it, which fitted the sentiment of the lyrics - just simple honest production, and I loved the insistent piano riff, the way it tinkles all the way through. The new version - yes it has more of the rockier Killers vibe you were after, but for me moves it away from the touching simplicity of the first version. Nice to have both treatments I guess but I’d vote for the first. Your voice is great in both by the way - as has been said, it has an androgynous quality which is unusual and very characterful. Congrats on your anniversary.

[IronKnee]

Hey there BigFish..................I really like the new version. The music is much more dynamic. The vocal is pretty much the same.
I think the vocal needs work. The sound is good.......be creative.......sing it like an "artist" would 
Kudos...........
                               -T

[Kafla]

Hi Big Fish 🤩

Great energy - like early Kings of Leon before they went all mainstream❤️

The hi hat is poking out a wee bit for me but that aside it’s a wonderful piece. The chorus is ace - almost choir boy like. I agree the vocal could be mixed a little more indie with some delay / reverb….

It’s almost trippy pop and I like it a lot amigo🥰

[Jamie]

@bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

Hi, nice song.I agree with other comments about adding a bit more colour to the arrangement with variations in the instruments and perhaps some vocal harmonies to thicken up the vocal. The piano is nicely played but it's too up front throughout the song and could do with dropping out here and there, as previously suggested.

Vey good!

Jamie

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Really kind @PaulyX , thank you for the review and also for your congratulations.

It's funny. Sometimes you can work on a track, but it does not always necessarily add anything to it.

Thanks again for your support. Much appreciated.

Hi, I listened to both versions. I thought the first one had a lovely homespun warm feel to it, which fitted the sentiment of the lyrics - just simple honest production, and I loved the insistent piano riff, the way it tinkles all the way through. The new version - yes it has more of the rockier Killers vibe you were after, but for me moves it away from the touching simplicity of the first version. Nice to have both treatments I guess but I’d vote for the first. Your voice is great in both by the way - as has been said, it has an androgynous quality which is unusual and very characterful. Congrats on your anniversary.

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Hi @IronKnee . Thank you.

So glad you were able to find something new in the updated version.

I'm not sure what you mean about my vocals. Did you feel it needed more expression? More vibrato maybe? In earlier versions, I attempted to belt it out a bit more, but then my tuning badly suffered. I found the only way to address this was to soften my voice a bit. I have to admit, I find it tricky maintaining tuneful singing and passionate singing all at the same time.

As I say, I'm not sure if this is what you felt about my singing. Did I get that right please? This kind of feedback is really important for me, so really I appreciate it. Thanks!

Hey there BigFish..................I really like the new version. The music is much more dynamic. The vocal is pretty much the same.
I think the vocal needs work. The sound is good.......be creative.......sing it like an "artist" would 
Kudos...........
                               -T

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Hi @kafla .

Such kind words there. Thank you.

To be compared to the KoL is a great compliment for me.

Feeling so happy to have produced something you really liked.

Thank you.

Hi Big Fish 🤩

Great energy - like early Kings of Leon before they went all mainstream❤️

The hi hat is poking out a wee bit for me but that aside it’s a wonderful piece. The chorus is ace - almost choir boy like. I agree the vocal could be mixed a little more indie with some delay / reverb….

It’s almost trippy pop and I like it a lot amigo🥰

[bigFishAndTheSmallPondets]

Hi @Jamie .

I could see how some harmony vocals could work.

With the variations in the instruments, sorry, I'm not sure what you mean. I recorded one guitar with distortion, the other was clean - is this the kind of thing you were referring to please? I hope you won't mind elaborating a bit more. I really need all the feedback I can get.

Your mention of the piano - were you referring to the first version of this track please?

Anyway, I'm very glad you liked it and really appreciate your thoughts.

Thanks again.

@bigFishAndTheSmallPondets

Hi, nice song.I agree with other comments about adding a bit more colour to the arrangement with variations in the instruments and perhaps some vocal harmonies to thicken up the vocal. The piano is nicely played but it's too up front throughout the song and could do with dropping out here and there, as previously suggested.

Vey good!

Jamie

[StevieJ]

really nice song. nice and personal and must feel good to get it into a song too. really liked the music and the sweet lyrics. congrats and keep smiling!

[IronKnee]

Hi @IronKnee . Thank you.

So glad you were able to find something new in the updated version.

I'm not sure what you mean about my vocals. Did you feel it needed more expression? More vibrato maybe? In earlier versions, I attempted to belt it out a bit more, but then my tuning badly suffered. I found the only way to address this was to soften my voice a bit. I have to admit, I find it tricky maintaining tuneful singing and passionate singing all at the same time.

As I say, I'm not sure if this is what you felt about my singing. Did I get that right please? This kind of feedback is really important for me, so really I appreciate it. Thanks!

Hey there BigFish.........
As an amateur your vocal is fine.
Don't get me wrong, as an amateur myself, my weakest link, in my music, is my own vocal. I think your vocal lacked the "soul" that I myself am always searching for.
The good thing is that "soul" can be achieved, like any other musical instrument.
Rehearse, Rehearse, Rehearse.
The music is really good........bring the vocal to that level.
Good luck, and above all.....................have fun.

[Bankie]

I listened to both versions, and the song itself is very strong with good lyrics and lovely melody. The recordings aren't great though and don't do the song justice. I think if we had a competition to cover someone else's song on the forum, this is the one I'd choose because the base is so strong but could be made to sound so much better. Having said that, it's genuine and anyone would appreciate that.

In the piano version, it sounds like you're not using a pop filter or adjusting your mic technique on certain syllables, like Ps and Bs - those bangs were much too audible and could have been easily dealt with. The guitar and piano don't sound bad per se, but I don't think the combination works very well; I think the song needs proper backing, especially in the vocal dept. Talking of which, are you using Melodyne or something similar? Your voice did sound too precise at times; if I'm wrong, then you have quite an ear.

Hope that didn't sound too harsh - just saying what I think. I wouldn't have commented if I didn't see something in it though; the song itself is pretty good.

[MonnoDB]

This is a great song - you have plenty of feedback on the production / arrangement from others who have more experience of such things. I actually really like the laid-back delivery of the vocal but then I sing a little like that myself! I think harmonies would really lift this.

Lovely work!

K