[Tony G]

Hi everyone, I've just joined this helpful site. Thanks for having me.

Simple question: do you think this song is fit for release? If not, I'd be very grateful if you could tell me what could be improved, or even if it's beyond saving!

Thanks so much,
Tony

PS: There is a swearword, but it's been muted out.

LINK: https://soundcloud.com/angryparadiso/friends-in-low-places

LYRICS

You cannot be coming in here, looking like that
Said a no-neck man on the door
“I couldn’t care less,” I said, “and that’s that
It doesn’t look cold on the floor”
My friends are the corners
My people are the rats
I follow the way of the cat

Cats are such arrogant creatures, they say
But I really wouldn’t have it any other way
It’s a matter of survival
Get the better of your rival
Come out to play
Dogs need their masters, all we need’s a home and a bed
We need your caress like a hole in the head

Br
We always fight this way (X3)
But there’s a better way

Father, forgive your wayward child
He doesn’t play the game like you
He doesn’t pay the fines and he doesn’t pay the tax to the bully,
Like you asked him to
There’s always some nob who’ll call the shots
But we cannot let the robots take the lot
Take it on the chin, let the f*ers in
Then give ‘em everything we’ve got
Dance, dance alleycats! We are your friends
And there’ll always be another way in
The wedding has a list, but there’s something they missed
And we’re never going back again
So call out the Law, call out the Guard
You’re never gonna find us in this yard
You seek, you burn, you fail, you learn
Waiting for your turn

We get no rehearsal, the track awaits the train
The Friends in Low Places are always glad you came
If I was a monkey, my friend – I’d ease your pain
Let’s go out, return again

[cowparsleyman]

@Tony G - Hi Tony - To me it's fit for release. An interesting piece, not my thing but some good hooks, like the organ.

[CaliaMoko]

Welcome to the forum!

I'm not qualified to answer whether your song is fit for release, but I can tell you my thoughts...

I like the beat. You've done a great job of matching the rhythm of the music with the rhythm of the lyric phrases. Your mellow and husky delivery suits the lyric, in my opinion. I found the melody somewhat repetitious, but I recall Gordon Lightfoot doing that with "The Edmund Fitzgerald" and he did pretty fine with that one. 

If you're wondering about its commercial potential...it's a bit long, the structure isn't recognizable as the usual commercial verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge-chorus (or similar) format, and there's no hook. Although I see CPM disagrees about the hook part. So there you are...don't believe everything I say. 

The lyric seems to be a kind of rambling stream of consciousness exercise but there's Don McLean's "American Pie" so we know THAT can work.

So back to whether it's fit for release. I can't answer that. For one thing, as I said, I'm not qualified. For another, I don't know your goals. If you're looking for a commercial "hit", it probably needs more work--like I would suggest more bass (is there any--couldn't hear it) and percussion. Production isn't my thing but others in the forum probably have some ideas for you. If you like what you have and it expresses your musical idea for you, then I think it's fine.

Disclaimer: All of this is strictly my personal opinions. Use or lose as it meets your needs.

Vicki

[Tony G]

@Tony G - Hi Tony - To me it's fit for release. An interesting piece, not my thing but some good hooks, like the organ.

Cheers! Yeah I love the organ, it rescues the song (which I can happily say because it wasn't me personally!). Thanks for the feedback.

[Tony G]

Welcome to the forum! ......

Thanks so much Vicki, you've been very helpful to me. I'm seriously liking 'mellow and husky delivery'! But what do you think of the effect on the voice, any thoughts?

I like and appreciate what you say about the commercial aspect, and I'm glad to say that it's not my priority - although it is certainly something to be taken into consideration. With hindsight, 'is this fit for release?' is a bit vague - I should've probably asked 'produced well enough for release?', because I'm thinking of how it sounds on a production level. But actually, production level does tie in with the commercial aspect too - and so I'm glad you mentioned drums (there is a wee bit of bass by the way, but I like where it comes in so don't want to overdo it) because we're certainly singing from the same hymn sheet in that sense. Basically, what I mean is: I don't expect a huge audience, but I want people in that audience to not be turned off by bad production - and therefore skip before it gets going, if that makes sense? Cowparsley man gave a good answer in that regard, but actually you did too - without actually answering - because you haven't mentioned anything putting you off. I think?!? Argh I'm confusing myself now!

In terms of the other stuff (the song itself), you're absolutely bang on. It is repetitive, and long, which is intentional, but as you say this has worked in the examples you give. Whether my song matches up with those classics is another matter entirely! But I'm happy with what I'm going for artistically speaking; it's a build-up sort of song. It has stages and all that, so if anything I want the changes between stages to be more pronounced.

On another note, I'm just checking out your Soundcloud as I type. Groovy so far! (Do people still say groovy?).

[moraamarolaloba]

Hola @Tony G

Nice to meet you!
I can only tell you that I really liked the atmosphere in general that surrounds the song in the difference. A strange story wrapped by the mystery that gives it that reverb that I love! and with that organ that, even having an age, does not have it here.

Mora

[rightly]

Well I really like it
It's an unusual song
I don't feel qualified to criticise it
Technically it's good
So if your happy with it
I'd say it's ready.

Welcome to the forum 

[CaliaMoko]

You're right--nothing about it put me off. I was looking for crit-worthy elements as you asked. Effects on the vocal did not jump out at me so I assume it was good. I'm a really, really long distance from being an expert on production, though, so that's a better question for someone else.

Thanks for checking out my SoundCloud. Since my music tends to hark back to the sixties and early seventies, I would say the word "groovy" is appropriate. 

....On another note, I'm just checking out your Soundcloud as I type. Groovy so far! (Do people still say groovy?).

[IronKnee]

I think this sounds great.
But, I'm not so into the polished, high gloss productions we hear on so many albums.
I prefer the sharp, but gritty sound that great rock is meant to be. I like real stuff.
I like this!!

[Tony G]

Hola @Tony G

Nice to meet you!
I can only tell you that I really liked the atmosphere in general that surrounds the song in the difference. A strange story wrapped by the mystery that gives it that reverb that I love! and with that organ that, even having an age, does not have it here.

Mora

Thanks so much Mora, your words are greatly appreciated. I'm so glad you like the song and it's general vibe, that's all I need to hear really!
Oh and nice to meet you too, and thanks for welcoming me x

[Tony G]

Well I really like it
It's an unusual song
I don't feel qualified to criticise it
Technically it's good
So if your happy with it
I'd say it's ready.

Welcome to the forum

Thanks! I'd say you are qualified, but 'technically it's good' will do me just fine!
Cheers so much for the feedback, and for welcoming me to the forum

[Tony G]

You're right--nothing about it put me off. I was looking for crit-worthy elements as you asked. Effects on the vocal did not jump out at me so I assume it was good. I'm a really, really long distance from being an expert on production, though, so that's a better question for someone else.

Thanks for checking out my SoundCloud. Since my music tends to hark back to the sixties and early seventies, I would say the word "groovy" is appropriate. 

Well groovy it is then, I can dig that. You've got a lovely voice too by the way, besides the songs being good

[Tony G]

I think this sounds great.
But, I'm not so into the polished, high gloss productions we hear on so many albums.
I prefer the sharp, but gritty sound that great rock is meant to be. I like real stuff.
I like this!!

Excellent, cheers Tom. I prefer the gritty sound too, I just wanted reassurance that the production didn't detract from the music in any way, but I feel much better about that now. Thanks so much