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Never Left My Mind

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Itamar

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« on: August 08, 2021, 10:23:28 PM »
First song I'm posting here so be kind ;) not a native speaker.

Verse I
Something inside me disappeared the night you said you were leaving
And I thought that I'll be able to rise up
but I stopped beliving

Pre-Chorus
Oh the days are cold
The night they never end
And I can see you when I close my eyes

Chorus
You never left my mind
The sound of your voice is still ringing in my ears
You never left my mind
I need you beside me when you're happy or in tears
Never left my mind

Verse II
Do you remember how we sat there without words talking with our eyes?
And I could read you like a book but didn't really wanna look because I knew what's on your mind

Pre-Chorus
You said "We can't go on"
I said "Don't leave me alone"
Now I'm looking back don't know what I did wrong

Chorus
You never left my mind
I can still see the tears streaming down your face
You never left my mind
Your memory will never die

Bridge
Should I call you and take up the glove
To show you how much I'm in love with you
And I know you left not long ago
But I just wanna let you know
None of this is making sense
I can't seem to understand
Don't say a word dont make a sound don't even look me in my eyes just promise me I'm on your mind

Outro
You never left my mind
The sound of your voice is still ringing in my ears
You never left my mind
Your memory will never die

Sterix

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« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2021, 08:47:06 PM »
Hi @Itamar and welcome to the forum.

First of all, your English-as-a-second-language is really, really good. Better than most "natives"! :D

I like the feeling behind the words. It makes sense and you don't complicate that any. Just a nice and simple "I'm missing you, are you missing me?" vibe.

I'd have maybe written a line or two slightly differently (they're fine as they are and you know what they're conveying, but they just sound a little "off").
Discography
My forum (900+ lyrics posted)
My YouTube channel

If you like my lyrics and want to work with me, PM me...

rightly

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« Reply #2 on: August 20, 2021, 12:44:21 PM »
I liked this
I think I've been in such a situation 

Not the best place to be

Your lyrics di catch it 

Nice writing 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly