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August Rain

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LostBoy

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« on: July 26, 2021, 10:32:15 PM »
Hi guys,

I’ve hit a bit of a songwriting slump lately, I have been trying to write my way through it…but in the meantime I have dug up this old song of mine that I always felt a bit…meh about…so I left it off of my “released” material…however, I always loved the opening lines “Stars hold your fire…save your luck for the wishful thinkers…we’ve got everything we need tonight.”😊🤷🏼‍♂️
…and soooo I decided to dust it off and try and save it from the grave I put it in! (Im feeling very dramatic tonight!😆🤦🏼‍♂️)…I’ve rearranged the music & changed a lot of lyrics…(it was set in California originally) 😆 truthfully I know it’s not a “single” kinda track, but I would put it on an album now at least, so there’s that!🥳🤪

All thoughts welcome and thank you for listening.😄🎶👊🏻🎶

https://soundcloud.com/leo-b-5/august-rain-master-fade

Lyrics
Stars hold your fire
Save your luck for the wishful thinkers
We’ve got everything we need tonight
This Ocean drive
Takes us right back to the start
After all these years have passed

I still remember the first time we met
When you cursed the sky
Cos your hair got wet

August Rain in Barcelona
As rare as the moment
Sparks were gonna fly
Under that broken sky
Yeah you thought I was only a plaything
A one night daydream
Now look where we are
We’re a comet among stars
The kind of love you see once in a lifetime
This love is a once in a lifetime
Whoa na na na na naaaa…

Those were the nights
Lost our friends on the streets of Gracia
Stole a kiss on that old fairground ride
We said goodbye, but it wasn’t long til I
Found my way back to your side

We were so young but just look where we are
Cos we’ve come so far
And it all started here under that…..

Chorus.

Bridge.
So let’s drink to the both of us…yeah
While others fade away
Our love stays the same
Stays the same

Who’d have thought that sparks could fly
Underneath that broken sky.




man made material

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« Reply #1 on: July 27, 2021, 11:32:27 AM »
@LostBoy  another absolutely top drawer vocal - just excellent , this has a brilliant soaring swooning melody too! Love it! ‘We’re a comet among stars’ what a line!
The production on this is brilliant too, however I reckon if you could make the chorus even BIGGER this would hit epic… I’d go with a bigger crash to announce the chorus ‘August’ … if you could get some wide BVs behind your ace lead vox in the chorus too (maybe another layer of synths too!😉) it’ll definitely become a hands in the air stadium tune, it already has that euphoric feel… another absolute cracker, don’t know why you’re down on it!👌👌👌
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jamesh

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« Reply #2 on: July 27, 2021, 12:48:03 PM »
Hi

I agree with Man Made Material, this is a cracking song and your dusting off has really paid off (not that I know what the first version was like). It also sounds very current and could easily have been a track by one of those boy bands my daughter listens to! (Hope thats a compliment!)

James

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #3 on: July 28, 2021, 07:02:38 PM »
Hola @LostBoy

It sounds great, music and voice are wonderful as well as the lyrics. May be the voice begins too quick?
It's the only suggestion I can give you... Really catchy.
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
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Paulski

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« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2021, 10:25:15 PM »
Hi Leo
As usual an amazing pitch-perfect vocal and harmonies in this.
Not much to suggest here but I did have a thought -

I think it would be more hooky if you replaced these lines:

Yeah you thought I was only a plaything
and
Who’d have thought that sparks could fly

with:
August Rain in Barcelona

...to really milk that title/hook.

Feel free to ignore if you don't agree.
Good work!
Paul

ChrisPrice

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« Reply #5 on: August 01, 2021, 10:40:34 PM »
Amazing vocals here. This is so well crafted and produced...impossible to criticise this in any way. A hell of chorus too. Just a great song..nothing else I can say :)

lillypilly

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« Reply #6 on: August 02, 2021, 01:21:23 AM »
I think this is a cracking song I would have liked a small lead in before the vocals started though as gives you a bit of a fright

jacksimmons

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« Reply #7 on: August 02, 2021, 12:14:10 PM »
This is really great, man. You have a pop sensibility that I absolutely love. It's so clear in the immediate start. Not to mention every section of the song has an earworm melody.

This feels like a lost Gary Barlow song to me. It has Take That's comeback vibes. Specifically the chorus reminds me of Reach Out, the awesome opening track of their awesome comeback album. That's not to say it's a rip off, it's just a similar feel.

I would say that you should really lean in to those harmonies on the chorus. Right now they sound tentative, like you were a little scared to trust yourself and go the full hog. On  Take That's stuff the chorus harmonies are LOUD, they could compete with the lead line if not for their placement in the stereo field (and some judicious EQ). You could get away with that here and the chorus would be amazing for it imo. 

Vocals are great. Guitars are so sweet. Drums sound great. Is all this instrumentation MIDI? If so it sounds really great.

I have played this four times. Great stuff.
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"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

PaulyX

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« Reply #8 on: August 02, 2021, 06:53:01 PM »
Hi Leo, yeah as others have said, this is a pop gem.  No idea why you were unsure about it at first!  Some very fleet footed touches in the lyrics... and I love the way the percussion comes in half way through verse 1.  The vocal melodies are tip-top - I think I'm gonna have to see the doctor to get rid of these earworms you have just given me...  If I'm allowed one nit (hey I gotta find one...) it's the line "One night daydream"... if it's night, it can't be a daydream... (I'm a total pedant!).  That's literally all I'd change about this though - it's pristine and should be all over the radio.
It's all too beautiful.

LostBoy

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« Reply #9 on: August 02, 2021, 11:22:49 PM »
@man made material Thanks so much man! I always appreciate your support. I will look into thickening up the chorus a bit…maybe a tambourine aswell…or the classic…MORE COWBELL!!🤪😆🤦🏼‍♂️🎶👊🏻🎶
@jamesh Thanks very much mate! Boyband have always been a guilty pleasure of mine so I’ll take that compliment.😊🎶👊🏻🎶👍🏻
@moraamarolaloba Hi Mora, thanks so much! I did have a 15 second intro, but truth is that it wasn’t good enough. I do like intro normally…I promise!!😜😆🙏🏻🎶🙌🏻🎶
@Paulski Thanks for the great suggestions Paul…yeah, I don’t milk the title enough I know…as for the singing…let’s just say I was very pleased when I was finally able to afford Melodyne!! 😊🤷🏼‍♂️ It just helps me lock in the odd words/phrases….song here and there.😆🤪
@lillypilly Thank you Lilly! Sorry to spook you.👻😜🙏🏻
@jacksimmons Hi mate, forget me…when are we gonna hear new music from you eh??😜 thanks for the massive compliment about the pop sensibility…I’ll take that…pun intended..🤦🏼‍♂️🤪 I have always been a massive Take That fan…Gary can do no wrong in my eyes…Their album “Beautiful world” was so good! Yeah…the harmonies…back in the day I would have cranked them up…lately I’ve been burying them a little…not sure why…but when I listen to pop today the harmonies seem more subtle to me…a texture almost? I dunno…I’m talking bollocks now!🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♂️
@PaulyX Hi mate! Thanks so much for that great feedback. Yeah the “You thought I was only a plaything…a ONE NIGHT daydream.” Line is me making a play on the “Night/day” thang….I myself have often daydreamed about having a night with various women I’ve met over the years…I’ll admit, most of them were on Baywatch!!🤣🤦🏼‍♂️🤣🤦🏼‍♂️
Cheers as always buddy!😄🎶👊🏻🎶

jacksimmons

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« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2021, 04:10:39 PM »
Quote
@jacksimmons Hi mate, forget me…when are we gonna hear new music from you eh??😜 thanks for the massive compliment about the pop sensibility…I’ll take that…pun intended..🤦🏼‍♂️🤪 I have always been a massive Take That fan…Gary can do no wrong in my eyes…Their album “Beautiful world” was so good! Yeah…the harmonies…back in the day I would have cranked them up…lately I’ve been burying them a little…not sure why…but when I listen to pop today the harmonies seem more subtle to me…a texture almost? I dunno…I’m talking bollocks now!🤣🤣🤦🏼‍♂️

Not talking bollocks at all mate you are very right about modern pop harmonies. This though feels more 'traditional' somehow.

And I have been working on a lot behind the scenes dw

Anyway, great track!

Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/jack-simmons-1/albums
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"When I play a dope melody, anything less than the best is a felony." - Robert Matthew Van Winkle

PeteS

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« Reply #11 on: August 06, 2021, 05:09:35 PM »
This as catchy as $@£%^!  Great lyrics, great production and what a voice.  Really good.  My only very slight criticism is that you have used the harmonies too sparingly.  Other than that I love it!
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MonnoDB

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« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2021, 06:37:43 PM »
Sublime vocal and great melodies as per @LostBoy - no surprise there 😁!

Great imagery - right there with you on the song journey.

Another vote for more harmonies! But then I’m a bit of a harmony addict!!

Nice one Leo! Good luck with it - sounds radio ready to me!

K

Neil C

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« Reply #13 on: August 15, 2021, 12:31:43 PM »
@LostBoy
Leo, just going to enjoy this so easy to listen to tune, perfect for driving in my wife's soft top when the sun is shining...
Big chorus and bv's :-) Then neat breakdown and fab solo!!
Lots to like
neil
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Sterix

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« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2021, 09:33:10 PM »
Another class @LostBoy song. What can I say?
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