Hi folks, some more great and useful feedback in the last batch. I have now got nine other forum members joining in on the sing-a-long choir for the last choruses. Still time for anyone else to join, details here:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=18356.0@tboswell , thanks really useful feedback. Well, 'the fish' as a name for Phyllis is just one of those slightly blunt names we used to dish out to kids when I was young, where I grew up anyway. We'd have Barry the Brains, who was clever. Kevin the Cat, who was an agile goalkeeper. Then there was Willy the Wanker. But I don't remember what he was good at.
Good point on the vox level. As I write lyric-first songs I am always worried that people won't hear the story. But I've lowered the level a bit anyway, plus increased the sound of the drums just a bit too- although I'm not really a drums person. Many thanks.
@Jamie, yeah one of my choir members said he kept singing Fillet of Fish by mistake! Cheers for the listen and encouragement!
@Rightly, thanks very much!
Hi Leo,
@LostBoy , really useful feedback thanks. I'm sure I am going tone deaf as I get older
Never mind, thanks for being brave enough to call out my sins - I've swapped around some of that using the better bits. Cool. I'm going to stick with the 'obsessed ya' bit though as I've already had four submissions from other forum members for the sing-along choir at the end - see above, with five more to come. If you fancy joining in I would love to have your brilliant vocals helping mine to sound a bit more sunny! Just a thought, cheers
I've turned down the vox a bit too, thanks.
Hi
@ChrisPrice thank for the listen, also
@man made material too - Good Cod man, those are terrible puns! Ha ha!