deeper funk of blue

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rightly

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« on: February 26, 2021, 12:43:53 PM »
Well I wrote this quite quickly
It seems to be a love song of sorts, inspired by m'lady

constructive Feedback would be nice, destructive feedback would be something else entirely. lol.

link

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly/deeper-funk-of-blue

lyrics



deeper funk of blue
 


honey, you've got that voodoo
'can hardly take my eyes off o' you
'feeling like I could move a mountain
with y' here in this deeper funk of blue

it's funny you just say the word
the ticking of the clock does sound absurd
I can finally hear the voice of nature
asking me if I would have the nerve
giving all I get both night and day
working up a sweat to throw it away
 
promise me you'll never be dishonest
ev'ry distance bridged with your promise
left without I wear the crown of doubt
no schoolin' is foolin' me to want this
brighter lights are found in darker nights
let the fall precede the greater heights

here in this deeper
funk of blue


Rightly

________________
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

montydog

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« Reply #1 on: February 26, 2021, 03:47:29 PM »
@rightly this has a weird other worldly quality to it. It's a bit like hearing a song in a dream. I think the arrangement is brilliant - just about the best you've produced. Your distinctive vocal is a perfect combination with the music - kind of magical, actually. Excellent, cliche free lyrics to top it off. In all, a rather wonderful thing.
M

man made material

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« Reply #2 on: February 26, 2021, 06:47:53 PM »
@rightly  this has a brilliant hazy otherworldly vibe, and yet still melodic, really well balanced production... for me the stars are the brilliant skittering drums that scurry around underneath the melody... I love those, how did you achieve that effect? Very nice sir👍
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #3 on: February 26, 2021, 06:57:43 PM »
Brilliant Arrangement and execution @rightly Sometimes excess reverb doesn't work but it's absolutely perfect for this song. I love what the drums are doing as well. The melody is fairly conventional but there's nothing else conventional about this one. Very clever and original

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #4 on: February 26, 2021, 07:07:00 PM »
@rightly,

Good selection of instruments for this production.  I’d lift the flute to be more prominent as I think it has potential to be a great feature.  The drums are really cool and I like how they rattle around the soundscape that you have created.  Perhaps it would be good to write a contrasting section to steer this home.  An enjoyable listen for me. 

Paul

Maya Clars

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« Reply #5 on: February 26, 2021, 07:19:40 PM »
Your voice is perfect for this song! Interesting melody.
In some parts it seems to me that there is too much echo in the vocal.

Maya

rightly

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« Reply #6 on: February 27, 2021, 08:05:08 AM »
Your voice is perfect for this song! Interesting melody.
In some parts it seems to me that there is too much echo in the vocal.

Maya

@Maya Clars

hi
My voice is perfect for a lot of the songs I do.
it's strange, people make this observation quite a bit in a few diverse songs of mine.
On a previous version I had more reverb on the vocal and I could barely notice.
A friend pointed this out and I reduced the reverb. So I think you might be right enough, and I'll look into that. Thanks for your comment!!
 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

rightly

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« Reply #7 on: February 27, 2021, 08:07:13 AM »
@rightly,

Good selection of instruments for this production.  I’d lift the flute to be more prominent as I think it has potential to be a great feature.  The drums are really cool and I like how they rattle around the soundscape that you have created.  Perhaps it would be good to write a contrasting section to steer this home.  An enjoyable listen for me. 

Paul

Thanks Paul
good point, I think I'll try making the flute more prominent in places.
but I don't think I'll try any more essential changes.
Thanks for the feedback!
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

kevysc

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« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2021, 01:54:28 PM »
@rightly one of your more straightforward songs/ melodies, I really like it. It has a certain mournful charm and I think it's a harp(?) that really helps to propel it along.

I am not a big fan of bridges, but I think one might work here to give a little variation?

Either way, lovely composition.

Kevin

rightly

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« Reply #9 on: February 28, 2021, 07:18:41 PM »
hi @kevysc
Glad you like the song
it was done fairly quickly

I'll not go with a bridge this time
but thanks for the tip

Oh yes, it's a harp
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

sweeny500

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« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2021, 08:34:25 PM »
@rightly
This is the kind of song where you only have to hear it once and it is in there in your memory bank, it's so unique. The vocals, well if Roy Orbison and David Bowie had a love-child.... Loved it especially cuz it's like no other.

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2021, 12:42:12 AM »
I have to agree with 'other worldly' and yet it's so down to earth lyrically :) Nice to hear a 'kind of love' song from you.
Y'lady must have been swooned :-* I love the unconventionality of your pieces and this one doesn't disappoint 8)
There's lots going on in this track and every listen I hear more  8)   The scatter-y drums really add another dimension
and the flute is lovely(could be a little louder) Beautiful creation @rightly  :) 

MonnoDB

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« Reply #12 on: March 01, 2021, 09:11:36 PM »
Hey @rightly - is that a harp? (bizarrely I'm just about to post a song with a harp in it...  what are the odds.. weird!!)..

Great lyrics.. the arrangement is wonderful.. someone said mournful.. I agree although of course your words are not.. It's quite uplifting in an unconventional way. I really like the vocal melody as well..  I also really like the flute..

A very enjoyable listen. My favourite of yours so far (I'm sure I'll say that again as I have before).

Wonderful!

K

rightly

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« Reply #13 on: March 02, 2021, 09:02:51 AM »
Hey @rightly - is that a harp? (bizarrely I'm just about to post a song with a harp in it...  what are the odds.. weird!!)..

Great lyrics.. the arrangement is wonderful.. someone said mournful.. I agree although of course your words are not.. It's quite uplifting in an unconventional way. I really like the vocal melody as well..  I also really like the flute..

A very enjoyable listen. My favourite of yours so far (I'm sure I'll say that again as I have before).

Wonderful!

K

Thank you @MonnoDB
Ill  Look into making the flute more prominent
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

MichaelA

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« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2021, 08:31:47 AM »
Hi @rightly , that’s quite an alternative ballad, almost anthemic with its distinctive melody. The instrumentation is great, but yeah the heroes need to be turned up in the breaks.

That couplet beginning ‘brighter lights are found...’ to me establishes itself immediately as the chorus. Being more conventional than you I would have used that two or three times in the song. But you are you! 😀

Really like this one, great atmosphere and easily remembered too.
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