[J.S.M]

Hi there,

I more or less finished a new song. I know the production can't live up to modern production standards. Anyway I'd really appreciate some honest feedback.

It was kind of an experiment as I usually start writing a song with the vocal melody. This time I just had the drum track that I recorded over a year ago for a different song that I wasn't that convinced of anymore. So I deleted all the ideas I had and wrote a completely different song on top of that drum track. This time I started with guitars and after that I wrote the vocal melodies. That was actually a very interesting experiment for me because I didn't think this ways of writing would work for me.

Lyrics:
This seems to not be my day
This seems to not be my way
This seems to not be the best of me
And when it’s all crumbled down
No need to tear it to the ground
It seems to be you testing me

And if it’s all been wasting time
We’re still alive, been still alive

But now that’s it once and for all
Don’t you know I can fix a broken love
Here’s to decide our misery
And now that’s it where we fall
Cause we never got more than what’s enough
You are my perfect fantasy
And now that’s it

Maybe our wounds never heal
Maybe we‘re just too afraid to feel
We’re a sacrifice, knocked out on lies

Though our world is broken down
We’re still around, still been around

[Unclenny]

I really like this. The way you perform and position the vocals really makes this song work for me.

Some of those tom hits feel a little off but that did not detract from my enjoyment of the listen.

[adamfarr]

this is fun - nice rocky guitar and super vocal. Lyrics are good and not cheesy. Maybe there are a few production things that could improve but I'd just keep doing what you're doing. Nice!