[kevysc]

I don't believe it! Two weeks have passed already, so I can post my latest. Going for a slightly Pink Floyd vibe here and would love comments

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32472417-one-foot-in-the-grave

One Foot In The Grave

He hears the sound
The rain is crashing on the skylight
He looks around at papers
Scattered on his desk
The winter's come, it's 4 am he should be sleeping
The night is gone and morning hasn't yet come creeping
He sometimes he spends his whole life just waiting

Chorus

How he wishes that he could go back
But the clock keeps ticking, moving forward
Telling him he's one foot in the grave

She was the one that he could turn to in a crisis
Always so calm, she helped to keep him in his place
But now she's gone, it's 4 am he should be  sleeping
But what's the point? When he's asleep he's only dreaming
So he's awake and waiting for another day to dawn

Chorus

[montydog]

@kevysc
Yep, I'm getting the Pink Floyd feel which is a good thing. The song rides along nicely and the musical palette is spot on. Your vocal needs some treatment I think. It is a little thin sounding which might be helped by changing the reverb settings and double tracking it. It needs more weight to sit in with the rest of the mix. Otherwise a really nice listen.
M

[kevysc]

@cowparsleyman good catch! I wasn't happy with the verse vocal, so I re-did it and added some effects to give it a bit more depth

Thanks, Kevin

[Jambrains]

First of all: bring up the vox in the mix, unless you want to sound like a distance ghost, then keep it as is 
This one has a great "airy" mood, esp enjoyed the acoustic, nice production overall. Nice build up to "grave", think you could have made a full stop after one of the to get an even more dramatic impact, the build and then a moment of complete silence.
Enjoyed this a lot, now go forth and bring that vox up.. 

[man made material]

@kevysc
Definitely some Floyd in here, but this just a beautiful atmosphere and some seriously talented and considered guitar work👌... there are some quality musicians on this forum!

[pompeyjazz]

Hi @kevysc I got a kind of Neil Young meets Ian Hunter vibe here. I really liked this one, some lovely guitar licks compliment that stready acoustic. Maybe the vocals could be a bit more up front but that doesn't detract from what us a top quality piece of work

[PaulAds]

I thought this packed a lot of originality into a fairly standard song structure. I think it’s the lyric coupled with the vocal delivery that create that sense of individuality that makes this stand out a bit.

It sounds like you know where you wanted to go with this...and went there. A very good listen. Don’t know if I’ve caught the updated version that might have addressed some of the thoughts in the above reviews...but I thought the vocal treatment and level is just about spot-on now.

A very good and quite uniquely styled song.

[Wicked Deeds]

@kevyc

I'm always getting a Crowded House vibe when I listen to your songs Kev.  That is quite wonderful in my opinion because I don't believe there are many finer bands.  Off course, it's the acoustic guitar set against the haunting melodic electric.  First class guitar work in my opinion.  As are your other compositions, this is very immediate and we quickly warm to the overall charm of the song.  Lovely build that takes us to the chorus. .

Really well done

Paul

[kevysc]

Many thanks to everyone for the feedback ...

@montydog @Jambrains you were both right, I re-did the vocals and moved it forward in the mix, sounds much better, thanks!

@man made material cheers, glad you liked it!

@pompeyjazz  I am a big fan of both Neil Young and Ian Hunter, so will take that as a   compliment, cheers!

@PaulAds glad you liked it and I will take that as an indication that the revised mix works!

@Wicked Deeds I have a some-time collaborator who loves Crowded House and is always trying to get me to record some of their stuff! Again, I will take your comments as a big positive, cheers!

Kevin

[sweeny500]

@kevysc

Love the clarity in the production and the guitar playing is excellent. I have to say i did notice the vocals were a bit thin. I could hear them but couldn't feel them if that makes sense. Loved the song overall though.

[ChrisPrice]

I too would like to hear the vocal a bit more upfront as you have a great voice. Otherwise I really like the song and especially the arrangement. I like the way it builds up to 'one Foot... Great song

[MonnoDB]

Isn't that the first line of Peig?!?! This was far more enjoyable I gotta say

Lovely smooth guitar intro and indeed throughout..

The melody is gorgeous, particularly the verses for me actually... Really nice BVs on "grave" - great effect..

A very lovely song indeed.. Enjoyed it very much @kevysc

K

[adamfarr]

Great atmosphere. The guitars work so well together. I agree the vocal is still a touch distant (not necessarily a level thing, could change the reverb perhaps to bring it forward).
I really liked the BVs and wanted to hear more, maybe joining in the entire pre-chorus towards the end?
I'd have liked another vocal line or two at the end - I guess the fade out could be symbolic, but I felt that could be a stronger way to finish.
Great song and well put together.

[Jamie]

@kevysc

Hi, yes got the PF feel, I also hear a touch of CSNY in the instrumental guitar sections. Very nice, I can't hear a problem with the vocal levels so i presume I'm listening to the updated version. Very nice, enjoyed it!

Cheers


Jamie

[kevysc]

Thanks again for the comments and feedback.


@sweeny500 @ChrisPrice The final version I posted has the vocals about as up front as I can tolerate ( for some reason, I tend to want to bury my vocal, it's a common theme across a lot of my work )

@MonnoDB You are correct, the first line of Peig is ‘I am an old woman now, with one foot in the grave and the other on its edge.’ What's your connection with Ireland? Only those who were forced to read it got past the first line.

Actually, this song was more inspired by Victor Meldrew (and no one picked up on my reference at the beginning of my post: I don't believe it!)

Anyway, glad you liked it!

@adamfarr Some good suggestions thanks

@Jamie I love CSNY (particularly their gentle harmonies) so will take that as a compliment.