[MichaelA]

This year I was thinking I'd like to develop a recurring theme of mine exploring fictional  'characters' in songs and conjuring up their stories. I'm attracted to that idea, as some of you know, I enjoy creative writing away from music. So I've come up with this latest one, which I am calling a 'parlour song', very English I think, exploring the dreams of a repressed chap working as an accountant and living an otherwise dreary life. The song is just a vehicle for the story really, so some of you will like that, others not so much. But there you go, that's my bag.

I can hear a couple of little creases in there need ironing out, but I'll do that after hearing any feedback from you guys as well. Hope you enjoy...

https://soundcloud.com/michael-a-duffy/miss-tomlinson

Lyrics:

Miss Tomlinson

Miss Tomlinson knocked as she entered my office
My tiny grey cell of these dull career years
She enquired of the file for Bingley & Sons
Which mysteriously had disappeared

She was wearing a starched blouse, impeccably ironed
As she rummaged through cursed paper chaos
But I’d concealed that file so she’d linger a while
Quite improper, though here was my payoff

Miss Tomlinson concurred with my considered view
Bingley & Sons were insolvency bound
And that we should suggest a share capital injection
To stave off old Bingleys from being wound down

Ah here is the file after all, dear Miss T,
I confessed, on my desk all along
And she smiled with relief for I had made her morning
She would hardly suspect any wrong

All the love
All the love
All the love
I could give to her

Miss Tomlinson knocked as she entered my office
Saying Mr P  don’t think this unfitting
But I wondered, would you care to join me for lunch?
I’m not inclined to stay here with my knitting

As my eyebrows raised, half crestfallen she added
We could discuss Bingley & Sons’ situation
I was hoping to pick your wise brains she explained
On their cash flow and depreciation

That would seem to be in order Miss T I replied
After much cringing prevarication
As long as we stick to the matter in hand
Those spreadsheets and amortisation

And I realised I’d waited for this to occur
For too many years, I felt cross
Miss Tomlinson and I from the moment she joined
Shared a passion for profit and loss

CHORUS

Miss Tomlinson ordered the sandwich selection
And I sipped an Earl Grey tea
But we did not discuss Bingley & Sons’ situation
For Miss T grew tearful whilst looking at me

She admitted she’d been foolish in a matter of the heart
Now she couldn’t quite forgive that slip
I replied it’s not foolish to feel for another
We all have the odd little blip

So I thought this the time and the place to be true
To confess I felt quite just the same
And if that someone would care to proceed in the matter
We might never be unhappy again

You should tell her said Miss T and you must not delay
Some lucky lady you’d certainly match
And if I was maybe twenty years older, she said
I’d  consider you quite the catch

CHORUS

[pompeyjazz]

@MichaelA When you said on Friday that you were writing a song about an accountant, I thought "Expect the unexpected" What a fabulous piece of writing this is - A parlour song just about sums it up. The way you construct the story is just so clever, It's like reading your first novel  I can almost smell the musty, sweaty office. The musical accompaniment is absolutely perfect for the story. Clever, clever stuff 

[PeteS]

Hi Michael, It's a lovely song, I love the lyrical story and yes I can hear a couple of things to iron out but doesn't take away the from the story.

Pete

[moraamarolaloba]

I thank you for the good time I have spent "watching" your song, I congratulate you on the lyrics and the development of the story, the soulmates of the unheard of in this case ...
Thanks for sharing!!!!

Stay safe

Mora

[man made material]

Great story! I felt the dagger to my heart with Miss T’s final comment! I love the backing sound you’ve created and the second and third verse sections are working really well👌 I think it’s just the first verse section that needs a bit of ironing, to work out those creases... really interesting and engaging piece of writing though!👍👍👍

[adamfarr]

Love all those accountancy bits - really brilliantly worked in. The contrast between verses and choruses is also fantastic, the change of pace, change of wordiness and melancholic backing.

And a great twist which gives the chorus a whole other meaning.

Love the piano too. I'm not sure what a parlour song is meant to be like but this a lovely thing (if you want to take on the legal profession I am probably not your man). 

[PaulAds]

This is brilliant...we've talked about how much I like some of Alan Bennett's fantastic characterisations and this made me think of him straight away. The choice of name for her is perfect...and the pay-off towards the end is inspired. It serves any of us right for getting our hopes up!

I didn't really think that any of it needed tweaking...I reckon that being too slick in a song like this could be counter-productive. I really like the words you've chosen to tell the story, and substituting other words that might "sing" better is all well and good when it's more of a "singers" song...but this is a writers song...and I think it has more gravitas by not compromising too much.

It would, sadly for Mr P, have been the only compromising situation that these two would have ever found themselves in and it was not meant to be.

This is the very highest quality writing, Michael.

ps


Vincent "I'm an accountant"

Penny "Chartered?"

Vincent "No...Turf"

from "Just Good Friends"

[ChrisPrice]

A remarkable piece. I don't know why, but I'm thinking about Eleanor Rigby. The songs are totally different but I think it's because this song also tells a story of a woman. This is deeper and it's also a much more complex vocal than The Beatles classic - not often you can say that!! A great production. I can't fault this in any way.

[Wicked Deeds]

@MichaelA,

Great story MIchapel. Lovely piano and quite an ambitious production in the selection of instruments that gives this song a real air of seriousness.  It's instantlyncatch but it is also a song that will reveal more with repeated listening.

Great writing once again.

Paul

[Jamie]

@MichaelA

Hi Michael, another brilliant lyric full of pathos and longing. Who'd think a song with the word 'amortisation' could be so attractive...... The story is brilliantly told too. My only nit was the harmonium/brassy synth in the chorus really grated on me, it sort of detracted from the emotion for me as it sounded a bit 'schmaltzy'.

Another cracker Michal!

Cheers

Jamie

[montydog]

Hello @MichaelA
Others have said what I was going to say. It is a wonderful piece of writing although I did spot what was coming but not quite the reason for the disappointment. I think we have all harboured a secret crush on someone and never acted on it but at least our man here does in a way. This could not be written by anyone who wasn't British - it's like pantomime, piers, Alan Bennett and Earl Grey Tea. The writing reminds me of Ray Davies with it's finely observed details and kind of buttoned up desperation.
So I'm comparing you to the finest songwriter Britain has ever produced along with it's finest living writer and I'm thinking you should be happy with that.
Bravo, sir!
M

[Maya Clars]

Sensual intro. Good combination of voice and piano.
Nice relaxing vibe.
I would add some low frequencies to make it more bass in the middle, but that's just my opinion.

[Andreas]

The lyrics are so brilliantly written!! Very lovely song and good production!

[MichaelA]

Hi all, thanks for the mostly very positive comments on this song. Being a little different in style, and very heavy on the old lyrics, it’s always good to get solid feedback, especially as it seems to have held people’s attention. So cheers! 😀

@pompeyjazz , yep the Friday sessions are quite useful sometimes for putting out ideas on what you might be toying with. As everyone seemed a little intrigued by my accountants song I felt it would be fun to complete. Thanks for that.

@PeteS , thanks and yep sometimes the ironing out isn’t the thing that will make or break a song. But I have done a little ironing though! 😀

@moraamarolaloba thank you, I like that you ‘watched’ the story in my song, a bit like a movie. 👍

@man made material , I’m sorry about the ‘dagger to your heart’ 😉 but I’m so pleased you said that. Cheers!

@adamfarr , well I am sure I will get round to lawyers one day, got to be rich pickings there surely! btw ‘parlour songs’ were coined by Victorians, who in suburbia would rehearse songs to perform for friends and family, with piano accompaniment in the front parlour. With the innate stuffiness of my characters I thought the song should be a modern take on that. Got to be a whole new genre surely? 😀

@PaulAds cheers and once again shows what the Friday night chats can sometimes inspire. Yep you were talking about Alan Bennet and this coincided with me thinking about wanting to write something about a repressed character or characters. That’s why I’ve gone for this quintessentially English suburban number...and I really enjoyed doing it too. So ta...and thanks so much for the very positive comments too. 👍

@ChrisPrice , wow I’m flattered by the Eleanor Rigby comment. Glad you enjoyed the song.

Oh well, I’ll give it a rest now. More personal thankyou’s tomorrow to everyone else who has commented. 👍

[MichaelA]

Need to get through these acknowledgments, thanks to all.

@Wicked Deeds , cheers Paul. Yep I chose conventional instruments of a time before synths were invented, as it seemed to suit the old fashioned feel of the song. Obviously GB doesn’t give the best advantage there though.

@Jamie thanks for that. See my comment to Paul just above. Anyway I have used EQ to take a bit of edge of that offending instrument, plus backed it up with a shadow bassoon. But i know some colliery brass band somewhere could do a whole lot better 

@montydog , high praise indeed and I am very humbled. Yes I’m glad it conveyed a very British flavour to you, as that was the intention. Yes like pantomime. Oh yes it is! Oh no it isn’t! 😀 Yes I confess too that Alan Bennet was on my mind as I created this repressed pair. Thanks so much.

Thanks too @Andreas and @Maya Clars for listening and kind observations.