Self doubt... I've been feeling it a lot lately, with one aspect of my songwriting at least. I know I'm a good lyricist and I can write for most genres (even simple pop, though you may not think so from what I post here) - as long as there's some sort of tune I can usually push something out.
But writing for other people, I put a lot of pressure on myself. Perhaps too much. You go from writing for yourself - where you have full control over content and direction - to writing to someone else's needs and expectations - where what you're take may not be what the other person's take may be.
I always want to do my best whe I'm writing for someone else and I admit to burning myself out a little. To the point where part of my wanted to quit writing for other people and just return to writing my own stuff.
Even up to this very week I've probably been having that thought pervade the back of my mind.
Still, it's always darkest before the dawn, as the saying goes. And hopefully I've gotten passed this particular wave. I say wave because no doubt (pun not intended), at some point, it will happen again and I'll have to fight the same demons again.
I know that because I had a full blown nervous breakdown back in 2005, and once that happens you never fully recover. Whether its the panic attacks that I still get to this very day (sometimes for little, or no, apparent reason) or the moments of anxiety and depression that come over me... I've always fought through to a better place mentally. I have to... I'm not prepared to let it beat me.
I'm sure we all have doubts about our musical talents on this forum, to one extent or another. It doesn't make you any less of an artist. It's how you handle them that's the thing. Sometimes it's worth "stepping away" for a day/week/month or so. Chill. Do nothing. Let your mind find itself a better place to park. When you come back to what was causing the doubts you'll be in a better state of mind to push them aside and get on with the job at hand - making good music.
Sorry, didn't mean for this to turn into a novel!
