the wife popped out, so why not .....ive a new song :)

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Sebandme

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« on: October 29, 2020, 03:35:36 PM »
First of all let me apologise ive not been on here half as much as id like, but ill be getting round all the new songs soon.

so here's my cheery song for a Friday evening, about suicide ......a tip of the hat to mental health awareness. (im in no way depressed very happy in fact, but something made me write it)

just me on my guitar and little backing vocal. guitar tuning is as follows :

D
A
D
G
A
D

A tuning I like to do but the chords were tricky.

please let me know what you think, as always I really, genuinely appreciate your feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/sebastianandme/can-you-hear-me-now

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW

Do you feel it, do you see it
the green leaves on the trees
Can you feel it, the warmth.
The sun giving you goosebumps on your skin.

Suicide layby
he knew excatly what he was doing
it didnt matter to us!
Only ever matters when its black
its only important, only important
when its black

Lord can you can hear me now
can you just give me a sign
because i dont know what im doing
im not sure im ready to not sure im ready to
to die, to die (can you hear me now)
to die, to die (can you hear me now)

Can you hear me now

Its too late
Its too late
its too late
its too late.

MonnoDB

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« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2020, 07:59:22 PM »
Hey @Sebandme - I really like this.. beautiful melody beautifully sung.. lovely tone.. I am partial to a dark song so I really like the lyric.. Glad it's not personal to you... Very poignant..

The "Lord can you hear me now.." melody is gorgeous - real emotion in the delivery supported really well by the BVs..

Really enjoyed this... thought the fade was a tiny bit sudden - only nit!

(Btw - It's Thursday :)) - but maybe you wrote it on a Friday!)

Sebandme

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« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2020, 08:07:47 PM »
@MonnoDB hahahahaha I have genuinely thought its been Friday all day! thanks for letting me know its Thursday haha, the beauty of shift work no idea what day it is.

thanks for checking it out, its very rough I recorded as I wrote it (which was about 3pm), so definitely room for improvement and yes not sure where the darkness came from  but hey ho!

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #3 on: October 29, 2020, 08:46:02 PM »
Holi @Sebandme

Wonderful ballad and shout!!! Sure I am impressed by the wave in your lyrics and in your voice.

I don't want to die either, I have many pending things ... Hmmmm

Stay safe

Mora
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow

Sebandme

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« Reply #4 on: October 29, 2020, 09:58:19 PM »
Thank you so much for the kind comments:)

Beebeesmith

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« Reply #5 on: October 29, 2020, 10:19:46 PM »
Hi
Interesting melody, not keen on the subject matter but that doesn’t detract from the overall song writing performance. Nice vocal but felt you were a little stretched which gave out a bit towards the end, As you advised it’s at an early stage so perhaps something that can be tinkered with in the future.
Nice job well worth Ironing out any wrinkles.
BB

Sebandme

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« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2020, 10:37:18 PM »
@Beebeesmith youre right, definitely at top of my range near the end, i have to hold back a little or the whole street will hear me. Subject matter completely accept its not to everyones taste. Thanks for your kind words though its much appreciated.

5 guys named Lars

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« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2020, 06:50:17 AM »
I like this. When the lyrics sound so personal & heart felt (even if they`re not ;D) I think your vocals fit well with that...they shouldn`t be too restrained.  I`ve never tried writing a song in a different tuning..sounds interesting. "Its only important when its black" is a great hook line. Good work @Sebandme  :)

Sebandme

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« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2020, 12:49:54 PM »
@5 guys named Lars  thankyou for checking it out! And yes the the line "its only important when its black" i thought was super catchy a real hook. Glad you thought so to :) thanks again for checking it out.

Jamie

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« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2020, 05:12:53 PM »
@Sebandme
Hi, love your voice. I can see that the lyric might be difficult for some, but I liked it. Haven’t tried that tuning yet. Must give it a go as I’ve found changes of tuning to be inspirational. Good song, enjoyed it!

Cheers

Jamie

MichaelA

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« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2020, 06:16:32 PM »
Very brutal subject matter in the lyrics expressed through the raw beauty of your playing and vocals. Wow @Sebandme , that is a hard one to pull off, but you did manage that with some artistic masterstroke that came from somewhere. You say the wife just popped out and you give us the impression, like too for the 'I'm Your man' number, that you just knock out these things while you are waiting for your tea to microwave or something. Some talent if that is true! Good on ya!  ;D
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https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

Sebandme

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« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2020, 10:26:00 PM »
@MichaelA wow thankyou so much for the kind words! Not subject i though id ever touch on, but it just came out......not sure where from but when it happens i just roll with whats coming out. Youre right the about "im your man" the wife had gone to stay with her parents so i was home alone hence the opening line from that song is "this house aint no home now youre no longer here " then i went with the flow. You'll know whens she popped out because the songs are always just me on my acoustic guitar and a really rough recording as ive just wrote it like almost off cuff and i very rarely go back and change lyrics, in such cases like this one can be quite hard to follow, im still trying to figure it out!


Thanks for taking the time to listen i appreciate it  :)

PeteS

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« Reply #12 on: October 31, 2020, 10:46:30 AM »
I love it and we need to write about the difficult stuff.  I love your vocal, you have a great voice, I'd be interested to know what mixing you did on that part.

Yes the vocal tired a little but so what, only gripes from me, it starts too quick, maybe a couple of seconds of silence at the start of the track, it also sounded like you might have nipped off that initial attack on the first note.  Also agree that the fade is too quick but I loved it!
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #13 on: October 31, 2020, 04:00:57 PM »
Always love your vocal delivery @Sebandme Reminds me of Richard Ashcroft in some ways. This is fab. You have a great delivery and style. Great melodic pop. Super stuff  :)

Sebandme

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« Reply #14 on: October 31, 2020, 04:41:00 PM »
@pompeyjazz cheers for the comments, ill take Richard ashcroft any day! Thanks for checking it out.

@PeteS yes, i think im going to redo it and make it properly as this is a very rough copy.... mixing wise its literally is just me my guitar and i used garageband......isnthat info you were after?