[Nicolajane87]

Been a while since I've been on here, started getting back into writing again, here's some lyrics I wrote, any feedback is appreciated thanks.

Butterflies

I can't deny how i feel

But i know that it's real

Everytime you look my way

You just take my breath away

You make my heart beat fast

Tell me will this feeling last

Cause lately I seem to find

I've always got you on my mind

You give me butterflies

You make me feel lovely inside

And when i looked into your eyes

I knew i wanted you to be mine

What you do to me

How do you make me so weak

Mesmerised by your voice

Whenever you speak

Do you feel the same as I do

Or would that be too good to be true

It's like I've waited all my life

For you to be by my side

You give me butterflies

You make me feel lovely inside

And when i looked into your eyes

I knew i wanted you to be mine

[Neil C]

Hi,
Like it. It does just what it needs to for a love song.
:-)
neil

[Nicolajane87]

Thank you for replying

[Wicked Deeds]

@Nicolajane87

I won't comment on the whole of the structure. Songwriting is such a detailed business and also very subjective. I guess I'd rather comment on what a I found especially appealing because it is heart-felt.  A little encpuragement also goes a long way to help motivate all of us.

Most  noteably,  the lyrics that embrace  the song title are quite beautiful

" you give me butterflies. You make Me feel lovely inside."

Such a beautiful and truthful lyric to write.

It can seem seem quite difficult to get a foot hold in a songwriting forum when you are a new otr perhaps returning member after some time away. Might I suggest you write a few lines about yourself in the introduction section, revealing what you do, (lyrics, vocals, instruments). Perhaps you simply write lyrics. I promise that this forum will open up for you if you take a few extra steps.

I hope that helps a little

Best wishes

Paul

[Nicolajane87]

Thank you for your comment, yes I haven't been on here for a while.