EVERGLOW- in progress....opinions and input welcome.he

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Sebandme

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« on: October 16, 2020, 02:34:04 AM »
Hey Everyone hope you are good!

A little song i came up just yesterday and while its hot in my head thought id share what i have so far.....and just look for some feedback.......i like it but i would i wrote it.....so would love peoples tboughts its only half done. link and lyrics are below, not entirely sure where im going lyrically yet....

https://soundcloud.com/sebastianandme/everglow?ref=clipboard&p=a&c=1

EVERGLOW.

I've waited an age to see the world.
I've listened to everything that youve heard.
like a light bulb flashing in the centre of my head.
I've clung onto every single word that you've said.

Honey I know that its time,
We gotta keep on running.
Away from the dark side of our minds,
We gotta keep on searching.
Away from the world that we know,
We'll everglow.


Sebandme

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« Reply #2 on: October 16, 2020, 07:22:02 PM »
Most certainly is my brand spanking new SG!!! Thanks for checking it out.....
Just need to finish it lol!

PeteS

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« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2020, 09:31:44 PM »
@Sebandme Sounds good, there's a great track at the end of this.

Loved the intro until the lead part comes in, it feels a bit too obvious and samey, needs a little more variation on that part.
The verse is great, the backing is perfect and the soft vocals to.  Then the chorus is really good, suits your voice perfectly.  Same comment about the lead riff though.

It might work will if you cut out the section with the riff and went straight into the vocal part, that would give it a great build up into the chorus.

Hope it helps but get it finished! ;D ;D

Sebandme

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« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2020, 05:56:36 PM »
@PeteS thats a great suggestion about the going straight into the verse rather than having the lead......that would be a good build up. Cheers appreciate that, it hadnt occurred to me! Ta!