I long for home

  • 12 Replies
  • 234 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Wicked Deeds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1337
    • http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey
« on: August 07, 2020, 08:36:58 PM »
I wrote this for the latest songwriting challenge.  It took about two hours to write and the recording process was a nightmare.  Probably about 5 hours in total at that time.  It was the first time that I had written/produced something that I absolutely hated.  Luckily, I've been on annual leave this week so rather than have my peace of mind in tatters, I have paid this considerable attention.  It continued to be a writer/producer's nightmare and just wouldn't behave for me.  It's tempting to say that if it now works, it does so because of production only.  Writers however. don't work that way.  I have subtly changed lyrics in one section and vocal melody for the chorus too.  It's crying out for a second vocal but I am just happy at the moment to get this over the finished line.  I adore some parts and others are ok but I think this is now more representative of how I write and am now happy to add it to my collection of songs.

"My mother cried to Johnny Ray."  -  A song for my Mam Margaret.  Her life has been so pure and true!

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1

Home

The shoes I'm standing in have seen so many towns.
They've walked a million streets. embracing ups and downs.
I long for home.
I long for home.

My thoughts return to summer days when I was still a boy.
My mother cried to Johhny Ray, the kids played with their toys.
I long for home.
I long for home.

Starting out was easy. 'Aint' it always?
Drinking led to fighting, led to lies.
What dreams may come were all undone.
The moon rose in the sky.

The shoes I'm standing in have seen so many towns. 
They've witnessed fireworks, the lovers hiding frowns.
I long for home.
I long for home.

The tourists at The Berlin wall still haunt me from afar.
The present keeps the past at bay, it holds the door ajar.
I long for home
I long for home

Starting out was easy. 'Aint' it always?
Drinking led to fighting, led to lies.
What dreams may come were all undone.
The moon rose in the sky.

If I could turn the clocks back for a day
or hop into a time machine, I'd say

I long for home.
I long for home.

Written by Paul Vasey August 2020

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1
« Last Edit: August 09, 2020, 08:54:07 PM by Wicked Deeds »
" I won't forget the journey to the grave yard so we could learn to live, learn to love again."

http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2694
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2020, 07:47:56 PM »
Hi Paul

We were both in a similar boat with our 1-day challenges..and we both seemed to react in the same way...slightly horrified and desperate to pull our socks up!

This has many of the qualities I admire so much about you...the vocals are lovely and some of the phrasing and melodies are really beautiful. Love the lyrics but mostly just that simple heartfelt line "I long for home" is a killer.

It's where we contentedly go back to when we've nailed it. It's where we crawl off to when we've had a nightmare. And if it's somewhere we don't want to be...we're in real trouble.

You brought this song all together with great craft and skill. The challenge was really fascinating...I'm so pleased so many got stuck in to it. It was anything but easy...and I think we all learned a lot!

Paulski

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4246
« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2020, 05:03:23 AM »
Hey other Paul!
Excellent job on this one - I love the simple refrain/chorus.
Lots of interesting melodic twists and the vocals shine as usual.
Maybe needs a harmony on "I long for home" later on but nothing else to complain about here.
I enjoyed it immensely :D

Paul

cowparsleyman

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1944
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
    • Cowparsleyman on the Web
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2020, 03:24:09 PM »
@Wicked Deeds - Listening on apple ear buds for the 1st time, This is great Paul, some great sound textures, in my opinion Your best work to date, the LVox melody, the hooky use of the eGtr and the Cellos. Excellent work, glad you re visited it.

My only suggestion is that you could give the vocal a bit of contrast from the breathy delivery that is your trademark, it could cut though the mix a little more confidently when there is a bit more going on.

Maybe move the Cellos L 10 o clock and eGtr R 2 o clock a tad wider, they seems to get in the way of the LVox. Excellent ideas with the picked acc gtr

Superb song Paul.

Hope this helps.


Wicked Deeds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1337
    • http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2020, 10:04:59 PM »
@PaulAds

I'm not sure how much fun the challenge was but it really made me focus my ability to turn this into something I could eventually became proud to put my name to.

Thank you my friend.

Paul

@Paulski

I totally agree that a second vocal is needed. I worked so hard to make this song work after my initial disappointment that for now. I need to relax until I can find the energy to revisit.

Songwriting and production is clearly intertwined.  production is a must for any songwriter wishing to present his/her songs in a favourable light.  As songwriters, we should neve  underestimate the role of production and our musical ability which, must be harnessed to communicate our work accurately.  That's what I take from this challenge.

 @cowparsleyman,

Thank you for listening and your considered totally agree re the breathy vocals. I's second nature Tom sing that's way for me as I never did like my voice before I started to use this technique. Occasionally I will go for the higher notes and obtain a raspy timbre to my voice which I love but mostly, I'm a little reserved about doing so. I will one day revisit this and have noted your suggestions which I think are excellent. For now, it's time to leave this for a while a second my holiday has come to an end and tomorrow, I'm back to work.

Thank you

Paul

Paul
" I won't forget the journey to the grave yard so we could learn to live, learn to love again."

http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1

Unclenny

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 118
« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2020, 01:49:52 AM »
I think it's a good exercise to work through the difficult ones. You have proven with this one that persistence can pay.

This sounds great to me. I love the different textures that you brought....they all support the song nicely.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?band

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2562
« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2020, 08:29:38 PM »
@Wicked Deeds
Hi Paul, I've been away and not been able to consider taking part in this songwriting task (probably just as well :o :P ;)).
Love this song, the 'long for home' hook is a killer. Simple and effective. Loved the melody and your singing too.

Cheers

Jamie

PeteS

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 243
« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2020, 01:52:05 PM »
Love it Paul.  I liked the original and to some extent prefer the empty picking style of the original in the verses but it was crying out to build instrumentally around the chorus.  This deals with that expertly.

Great work on both!

Grubstar

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 174
« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2020, 08:36:40 PM »
A very melodic and somewhat melancholy song, absolutely loved the chorus and guitar part. Facinating too in that how you explain it was written and recorded so quickly and then how you subsequently developed and arranged it.

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4101
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #9 on: August 13, 2020, 04:12:13 AM »
My mam cried to Johnny Ray as well @Wicked Deeds Songwriting and recording is indeed a strange business. Your original has been in my head and I've listened to it a lot. I guess a lot of us don't particularly like some of our own songs but that doesn't mean that other folks won't like them. A brilliant piece of work Paul

kafla

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1901
  • You were a complete stranger , now you are mine
    • Soundcloud
« Reply #10 on: August 13, 2020, 08:22:09 PM »
what can you say when someone always writes from the heart with such passion...and has the skills to produce their ideas to life?

Nothing other than I really enjoyed that mate!

P.S. I loved the little mid 8 with the chords I will never know lol
Remember - the more quality feedback you give, the more you receive. Take time to listen and review other members' songs.

Neil C

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3784
« Reply #11 on: August 15, 2020, 03:00:32 PM »
Paul,
Lots to like here. Direct lyrics and your vulnerable vocals.
And the understated verses set you you up fro the I long for home with that fab sounding guitar refrain. The sort of thing Deacon Blue did back in the day. 
Catchy   
:-)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..

montydog

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2403
  • http://i60.photobucket.com/albums/h40/montydog1/Me
    • Reverbnation
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2020, 05:19:57 PM »
Hi Paul,

This has a wistful, vulnerable quality which drew me in straight away. I liked the gentle, subtle instrumentation and arrangement. I'm not sure I would have the perseverance to plough on with something I originally hated so hats off to you for that. It's all turned out rather well, hasn't it?
M