U and I

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Maya Clars

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« on: August 07, 2020, 12:20:59 PM »
Hey there, people! I hope you are doing great. I composed a song during the Quarantine entitled U and I. It's unusual for me to compose romantic and love songs, but I am inspired so I did it anyway. It's also my first time to sing along with someone. I'm here to ask for your little help. As all of you know I'm a 17 year old girl and I really need to learn more about music. As of now this song is my third release and still hoping for more. I just want to ask your opinion and feedback about my new song. What do you think about it? What should I improve? Where is it lacking? Please let me know your thoughts. It will really help me improve in music. I'll paste the lyrics below together with the lyrics. Thankyou so much and I hope you're staying safe amidst of these global pandemic. Have a great day!

 YouTube:

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/6iGrv3vB7sgrJmPhLvjell?si=jrLsssaISGCbH9ps7LgPUw

Lyrics:

Baby, I healed my wounds
So am I still good for you?
Or maybe I should raise my pulse
To twenty hundred beats per minute

You're the best medicament
You always know what happened
When I'm sad
You're the best antiperspirants
Take my heart
Never bring it back

I wanna chase your life
To be alright
I don't need anything
But you to be mine
Anytime
Just you and I

My whole life is also yours
Hold it tight and hold it close
Let me know when it's my turn
To make you happy
And give you what you deserve

You are my favorite drug
Which I wanna take forever
Nonstop
Don't give me money
Don't give me cars
I need you honey
I need your love

Please don't break my heart
At least I'll lose the major part
And everything will make no sense again
Tada-a

I wanna chase your life
To be alright
I don't need anything
But you to be mine
All the time
Just you and I

I want you to be mine
Every second of my time
I don't need anyone
But you in my life
Just you and I

I want you to be mine
Every second of my time
I don't need anyone
But you in my life
Just you and I

Give me your hand
And I'll give you my soul
Just give your hand
And I'll give you my soul
Give your heart
And I'll give you the world

I wanna chase your life
To be alright
I don't need anything
But you to be mine
All the time
Just you and I

I want you to be mine
Every second of my time
I don't need anyone
But you in my life
Just you and I

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2020, 07:10:39 PM »
@Maya Clars

I really enjoyed your song and video. Good stuff.
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2020, 10:20:39 PM »
@Maya Clars

Delightfu!  There is real talent on display here.

I'm looking forward to hearing more from you and hearing other musical avenues that you might explore.

Paul
" I won't forget the journey to the grave yard so we could learn to live, learn to love again."

http://cdbaby.com/cd/paulvasey

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1

kevysc

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« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2020, 04:15:24 PM »
You have a great (and contemporary ) voice, very cool and catchy pop vibe. I can hear this playing in a cool night club in the south of France ( would be nice to be there ...)

Well done,

Kevin

Sing4me88

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« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2020, 06:18:07 PM »
Another fine pop song with a polished production that sounds modern and a nice vocal delivery. Got vibes of a trap queen a la Arianna Grande from the production and vocal with some hints of early Lily Allen in the harmonies.

In terms of critique and going forward, I'd love to hear you try out some vocal chops. These are really 'now' and I think it could add some 'hook' and bite to your already very strong songs. More specific to this track, the only thing I can think of is that maybe darker drums could have been chosen to add to the vibe of the song.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2020, 03:54:32 PM »
@Maya Clars - Sounds good to me.

This kind of thing could benefit from the odd, rhythmic hook, such as a massive verb snare on the 3 beat but only once or twice, a drop would go well too, followed by a Lofi drum backbeat section

I'd also look at a vocoder somewhere, not much but to add that much needed contrast to a very good hooky melody.

@Sing4me88 - Is spot on with his suggestions too.

Hope this helps, and keep em coming...



Jamie

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« Reply #6 on: August 10, 2020, 08:41:52 PM »
@Maya Clars
Hi, +1 to all the above comments, a very contemporary sound. My15 year old daughter would listen to this......
Nice one!

Jamie

Unclenny

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« Reply #7 on: August 11, 2020, 06:18:49 PM »
Seriously cool tune. I really like all the vocal stuff that goes on throughout. As has been said above, this song shows your real talent for this.

Your strength is in your vocals so going forward I would just say to really work on your vocal presentation to make sure those vocals ride the music just right. I like to think of mixing vocals and the instrumentation as being a bit like surfing. Sometimes you are tucked into the wave, sometimes you are riding out in front of it....and sometimes you do a few tricks.

 8)
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PaulyX

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« Reply #8 on: August 12, 2020, 03:18:57 AM »
Yeah very cool contemporary track.  The rhythmic bassline is the standout for me, but that said it's all quality, no weak parts and it evolves nicely.  You've both got good voices. I think if I wasn't reading the lyrics though I wouldn't be able to make out some of the words but I think that's just an EQ-thing (or my crappy headphones...), if you could carve out a little space around the lead vocal frequencies so it really pops that'd make a very good track even more radio-ready.
It's all too beautiful.

Neil C

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« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2020, 12:04:33 AM »
Sounds contemporary with that modern pop/r'n'b/with a slight latin feel.
Catchy as hell.
Polished and dreamy
:-)
Neil
songwriter of no repute..