[CaliaMoko]

Here's the whooptee-doo version of "Away from Home"--spiffed up from the stripped down version @Neil C and I did for the 1+1 challenge. Personally, I am most interested in feedback on the lyrics, as that was my part of the collaboration. Neil may be more interested (I didn't ask him, but that was his part) in feedback on the melody and production.

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/away-from-home-master-14-aug-2020

Lyrics:

I remember like it was yesterday
Though it seems so long ago
The day you told me to go away
They played our song on the radio
Played our song

This is my home, my sanctuary
I come to rest when my heart grows weary
How will I manage when I’m all alone?
When I’m a long way from my home
I'm a long way from my home

I said please, please don’t make me go
You know where I belong
Please, I love you so
Didn’t mean anything wrong

When I left I felt something break
All those memories came flooding back
When you told me that I should take
The wrong way on the welcome mat
Wrong way on the mat

I said please, please don’t make me go;
You know where I belong
Please, I love you so
Didn’t mean to do you wrong

c 2020 Morrison/Connor
All rights reserved

[Jamie]

Hi guys, nice work. Nice clean production with the piano shining through, with some lovely chords(some Maj 7ths in there) and unexpected changes.......right up my street! The lyrics and the melody and musical treatment all fitted together nicely and was sympathetic to the overall theme.


Nice one!

Cheers

Jamie

[montydog]

Mmmmm..liked this straight away. Lovely piano line and great chord progressions. The lyrics are very nice - melancholy and honest but for me it's the combination of the lyrics with Neil's arrangement, melody and vocal which is the magic here which I guess is the whole point of a collab. A simply beautiful thing. Neil, you are so expert at matching someone else's lyric with the perfect melody and arrangement.
M

[Wicked Deeds]

Lovely piano that embraces a fine selection of chords. I sometimes feel that I want to change things around a little. You get off to a cracking start then the verse melody/ pattern meanders. The chord sequence is good enough to make an extraordinary melody too.  I think at times the words are squeezed in to fit. That's a shame, because they read well. 

I love the way the vocal rises above the track and overall, I love the menacing feel of the harmony.

Very interesting collaboration.

Paul

[Wicked Deeds]

In fact, parts of the harmony, are quite delicious!

Paul