Song For Me

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kevysc

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« on: August 06, 2020, 03:30:43 PM »

I seem to be on a roll of dark material! I wrote this about 20 years ago. Someone I knew (not very well), who had moved away to London after separating from his wife, was found dead from a heart attack at a relatively young age. It got me thinking about my own mortality ...

Comments and suggestions very welcome as always

https://www.reverbnation.com/kevinism/song/32030038-song-for-me

Song For Me

Loneliness quickened his demise
Sadness tainted his last days
Now an empty room, clutter's been removed
Is his legacy
On a quiet night, with the TV on and a glass in his hand
As he closed his eyes for the final time
It had come to an end


It was never going to last
He was never going to change
Too much damage from the past
Too much baggage to be thrown away
I don't why I feel such pain
I hardly knew him
As I close my eyes for the hundredth time
When will this end?

Please help me I'm falling, I'm falling
Please help me, I'm falling, I'm falling
He's calling, I'm falling

And me, feeling sorry for myself
When he' s the one I should be feeling sorry for
On a quiet night, with the TV on and a glass in my hand
As I close my eyes for the final time
It has come to an end

Please help me I'm falling, I'm falling
Please help me, I'm falling, I'm falling
He's calling, I'm falling

Unclenny

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« Reply #1 on: August 07, 2020, 02:03:27 AM »
I like how this song moves and how you sing it. It's a good sound as well.....lots of cool space.

I have to say, though, that the drums don't quite work for me.......not sure the song needs them.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

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moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2020, 07:19:27 PM »
I love the backing, I love the smooth cadence that surrounds your scenes so well portrayed

I think the arrangement sounds great and the vocals are at their perfect level.

Your lyrics are heavy, deep and yes, sometimes it happens, the pain and agony of others  turns you into another agony ...

I love this phrase
"Too much baggage to be thrown away" @kevysc
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
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Grubstar

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« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2020, 07:37:01 PM »
Hi Kevin

I absolutely loved this track its got a terrific backing and arrangement and the  vocal melodies and the  guitars are fantastic.Your vocals are also excellent and really deliver the sad dark lyrics.1st Class.

kevysc

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« Reply #4 on: August 10, 2020, 05:40:21 PM »
Many thanks for the feedback.

@Unclenny I did try a number of options on the drums, including removing it, but in the end, stuck with the original. However thanks for the suggestion, worth playing around with.

@moraamarolaloba Glad you like it, including the dark lyrics

@Grubstar Encouraging words, much appreciated, thanks!


Jamie

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« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2020, 08:19:30 PM »
@kevysc
Hi Kev, enjoyed the understated laid back backing track, it allowed the lyric to take centre stage. Liked the Santanaesque guitar breaks. Dark thoughts for dark times.........

Cheers

Jamie

PaulAds

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« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2020, 03:47:34 AM »
Good groove to this one...even though it's quite downbeat and reflective...it has a sense of motion and certainty...like we're all ultimately heading the same way and there's nothing we can do about it.

I never considered myself a heartless bastard, although I'm generally unmoved when I hear of people I know (but not closely) croaking. I have, in the past, dug graves, laid out dead bodies in mortuaries, sometimes struggling to put their false teeth back in...and even once, believe it or not, had a dead man piss down my trouser leg.

Anyway, I liked the way you sing this.

Cool song. I do enjoy the dark...

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #7 on: August 13, 2020, 03:59:43 AM »
I think that this is really interesting @kevysc I particularly like the fusion that you have created with modern dance based synth sounds paired with classic rock. It's a grower as well and the lyrics are intriguing. Great to see you back around these parts man  :)

Paulski

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« Reply #8 on: August 13, 2020, 07:57:07 PM »
Nice one Kevin - I got the Santana influences as well as maybe Phil Collins in the drumming patterns.
It's the kind of song that hypnotizes listeners into thinking it's shorter than it is - a good thing in my books.
Oh yeah and the vocals sound great too  ;D

Well done
Paul

Neil C

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« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2020, 12:15:02 AM »
Hi,
Enjoyed the storytelling
And the musical backdrop with the rhythms and synths and all.
And then a long melodic solo early on.
And I like the way it changes from observation to personal and the distant "I'm falling"
I get a touch of pet shop boys on the vocal delivery
enjoyed it
:-)
neil
songwriter of no repute..

kafla

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« Reply #10 on: August 15, 2020, 12:19:46 AM »
Superb Kevin ,

I can hear Dave Gahan singing this in my head...no offence to your vocal at all

It’s dark and intriguing. Love the arrangement , bit of Pink Floyd in there as well

Magic ⭐️
Remember - the more quality feedback you give, the more you receive. Take time to listen and review other members' songs.

kevysc

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« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2020, 03:39:21 PM »
Thanks again for all the feedback and comments.

@Jamie It's amazing what you can do with 50 + takes (plus doubling ) on a lead guitar break :)

@PaulAds Glad the sentiment resonated. I assume your experiences were in a professional capacity ( or maybe you have some weird hobbies besides music)? Would love to hear more!

@pompeyjazz The original version I did was using a casio keyboard with built-in (cheesy) beats: this version is definitely an improvement :)

@Paulski Considering it is basically the repetition of the same 16 bars, I agree it does sound shorter than you would think!

@Neil C Many thanks, I must admit I am very happy with the lyrics ( and that was the main reason for me reviving this to do a modern version.)

@Kafla I had to look up David Gahan, even if I am a fan of Depeche Mode! I also LOVE Pink Floyd, so thanks for both of those namechecks








montydog

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« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2020, 05:46:32 PM »
First off, the musical setting is fabulous - perfect for the song and the way the electric part breaks it up is very effective. I read the lyrics through first and was very impressed - they are top notch. For me, your vocals need to come way up in the mix. At the moment they are lost in the overall sound and there impact is severely lessened. Melody is fine so it's just that mix....
M