• 20 Replies

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.


  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2562
« on: August 03, 2020, 10:51:42 PM »
Hi all, my latest effort, a bit of a change of direction on this one. The lyrical content of this one took a 180 deg turn during the writing of this song. Unusually I was writing the lyric at the same time i was writing and recording it, and I didn't like the flow of some of the words, so I started re-writing it line by line as I went on.I didn't change  many of the words, but it completely turned round the meaning I'd had in mind at the start. When I read them after I recorded them that I'd written about a real event that happened to someone I knew. I've never before(knowingly) written a song that was about an actual event. A bit weird really, must have been subconsciously on my mind. A sad story I'm afraid.
I look forward to your usual intelligent and articulate, constructive views!



I can't comfort you, how can I even try
Can't get through to you, but I, have no regrets, no regrets

Please, don't look at me, I'm not what I want to be
I heard every word, it seems, so absurd, so absurd

I needed you to know what you put me through, you do
I thought you knew I'd go, before it all fell through

i can't reveal my thoughts, my thoughts of you different points of view
I've done many things, I know, my mind was wondering, wandering

I need you to know what you put me through, you do
I thought you knew I'd go before it all fell through

Darkness is surrounding me, I still can't see, please let me be
I'll blow the clouds apart, when I depart, and you will know, when I go

I know it's time, you knew what I had to do with you
It's such a shame to go, it's what I have  to do


  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 447
    • Your Song Contest
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2020, 01:01:00 AM »
Really like the piano motif in the verses, really effective and engaging. Also, really like the vocal melody, nice variation that keeps me engaged.

Great dark guitar break towards the end, reinforces the dark, sombre mood.

Suggestion : add a simple "Shame" backing vocal for the last verse/ chorus: I think it would add extra power to an already powerful piece.




  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2505
    • SongExpresso
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2020, 05:49:19 PM »
I really really like that "dirty" lead guitar. The brooding and unsettling piano really sets everything up and is another highlight. The rhythm of the lyrics works so well too with the little "you do"s etc. Great build and a great ending!


  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2403
    • Reverbnation
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2020, 06:03:14 PM »
Hi Jamie,
This is great. Atmospheric with some lovely instrumental parts - guitar figure, piano riff and the harmonies are highlights. I would have maybe picked up the tempo and cut back on some of the pads - they can soften up a stark lyric too much. Otherwise, another of your epic masterpieces.


  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 872
  • Jim Steinman ftw!
    • Jambrains
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2020, 07:44:06 PM »
Great dynamics, love the quieter parts and when the BIG drums join in. Think the vox need to come up a bit in the parts where that piano is driving things forward relentlessly.
Ah, those drums are great! And the vox has a haunting quality that fits perfectly with the rest.  Was not too keen on the solo guitar sound but that is down to personal taste of course.  Really enjoyed this one, well done!


  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1164
  • and there you have it.
    • My cloud o' sound.
« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2020, 06:54:29 PM »
A lot to like here Jamie.
Nice surprises throughout.
Over four minutes and
No loose ends.
Good work.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

And there you have it.


  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 118
« Reply #6 on: August 05, 2020, 06:54:37 PM »
I really like how these lyrics work.....sometimes the best ones come from a subconscious level like that. The way you sing them really makes them work and the way you place your vocals gives the whole song a strong sense of depth.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child


  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 4101
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2020, 09:21:57 PM »
Hi @Jamie Very atmospheric intro. Almost menacing sounding. There's lots of space here to add to the atmosphere. That piano is really very effective. Fab vocals as usual and like the octave vocals in the chorus. You are on fire mate  :)


  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 174
« Reply #8 on: August 06, 2020, 10:14:27 PM »
Hi Jamie

You have produced  another left field and enjoyable track, I really like the way that you are always willing to experiment with your songs and production. I love the haunting choral introduction that transitions into the piano based verse, I think, as others have commented, that the verse piano is a little high in the mix and overshadows the vocal a little. However the chorus is excellent very melodic  and the vocals are produced perfectly. I also liked the ending with the repeated choral backed vocal, from a personal point of view though I thought the end guitar  tone was bit high and buzzy(?) but that is just my opinion.


  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 565
    • Soundcloud Profile
« Reply #9 on: August 06, 2020, 11:40:50 PM »
Sad and brooding... this grabbed me immediately. Definitely my favourite of yours so far... some lovely lyrical touches.. melody very interesting and I too really liked the piano motif... drums are great too...

Just loved it!



  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 243
« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2020, 01:05:21 AM »
Brilliant Jamie!  Loved the atmospheric nature, the piano riff, the light and shade everything.  Top class my man!


  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 6
« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2020, 03:08:17 AM »
Nothing much to add that hasn't be said. I think it sounds intense  but also spacy at the same time. I like the use of the ambient sounds but the panio realy drives it. Great stuff


  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 390
    • Mora Amaro La Loba
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2020, 07:57:32 PM »
A piano that makes your song ethereal, enveloping your lyrics with the air of its notes.
Nice song, sad, eloquent and raw.
When in the minute approx. 1'30 opens the song wow is fantastic @Jamie
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel:

Wicked Deeds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1337
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2020, 10:07:46 PM »
Great musical intro followed by that lovely urgent piano.  Yours is a melodic song which I find is always the greatest challenge for any writer.  This is a powerful, dramatic song @Jamie; one that has real purpose.

" I won't forget the journey to the grave yard so we could learn to live, learn to love again."


  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1944
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
    • Cowparsleyman on the Web
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2020, 03:30:16 PM »
@Jamie - Listening for the first time while I type...As often i your songs Jamie, there is space between the lyrics,  I always love the drums on your tracks.

I dig the use of the piano as a kind of picked Acoustic gtr vibe.

Great BV tracking.. LVox is being a tad occluded around 2:10  ish, then comes back to the fore with the Chr.

Like the way the synth vox track the the Lead Gtr line, which in itself is a melody line from the Vox, great stuff man.

One of your best works Jamie.