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Tailspin

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simonjol

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« on: July 01, 2020, 11:54:49 PM »
Hi everyone I just joined up here to hopefully find other songwriting folk and get involved. I have written and recorded over the years mainly as a solo creative release, a diary almost if that makes sense?  :)

This is a little thing I have had in my head for quite a while, recorded it while in lockdown, just a bit of fun really, i thought i'd like to share it for some feedback anyways.

https://soundcloud.com/simon-jolly-432790989


Tailspin

Verse 1
Another day to be
Someone you'd rather forget
Let's get away from here
Another place to be
you turn it on it's head
Let's get away from here
You look nice in that dress
Like rolling meadows yes
Let's go put on our best gear
We got it all aint we?
Come on you look good to me
Let's get right away from here

Chorus
I will be your pilot
All the lights are clear
You burn me up
You light the fuse

Verse 2
Feel a blue fly tickle
It's just the sound of birdsong
Strollin in the park
We won't be here when it's dark
Listening to the sound of birdsong
Sitting on a golden chair
In your underwear
Swaying to the sound of the ocean
Catch your breath as we're
Bypassing light years
It's just the sound of the ocean

Chorus
I will be your pilot
All the lights are clear
You burn me up
You light the fuse

I will be your pilot
All the lights are clear
Turn in flight
Turn the world
That's what you do
You light the fuse

Doesn't matter where we go
Every time you're near
You light the fuse
You got me
100 miles
100 miles
You light the fuse






« Last Edit: July 13, 2020, 11:44:09 AM by simonjol »

Unclenny

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« Reply #1 on: July 02, 2020, 08:11:03 PM »
Very cool tune @simonjol . I love how the bass moves it along relentlessly and how that electric guitar sneaks in.

Really nice arrangement . This whole thing just works for me......got some serious funk happening! Kind of Prince-esque. I can see Sheila E on those drums.  8)
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

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simonjol

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« Reply #2 on: July 02, 2020, 08:22:54 PM »
hey thanks! that's very kind!, really glad you like.

I do love the earlier prince stuff and i was a big wendy and lisa fan too. Oh hell yea Sheila she is amazing.  :)

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #3 on: July 03, 2020, 08:17:25 AM »
@simonjol - Welcome to the Forum, first I love the title, really intriguing...yeah I can hear Wendy and Lisa too in this. lots of lovely guitar, that so missing from songs these days, maybe hold back a tad, so it's more of a feature, also maybe rather than jamming riifs, try and repeat some of the hooks in the Vocal melody...just an idea?

Found the Lead Vocal a little back in the mix...Nice work on the Brass near the end

Great ideas.

simonjol

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« Reply #4 on: July 03, 2020, 09:08:46 AM »
hey cowparsleyman thanks for the feedback, yes agree probably a bit too full on with guitars i will try some other mixes i think you are right.

The plan for the song is to do it as a male / female duet which is where i need a strong female voice in the chorus. Beverley Knightesque soul rock style.

Need to find such a vocalist however haha


Sebandme

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« Reply #5 on: July 03, 2020, 10:23:11 AM »
First of all welcome! Love this nice and funky and love the guitars aswell. Really enjoyed the listen....

Looking to hearing more :)

simonjol

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« Reply #6 on: July 03, 2020, 02:44:53 PM »
Heyyy thanks and really pleased you like it!

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #7 on: July 04, 2020, 09:26:55 PM »
Hi @simonjol and welcome to the forum. Really liked this indie vibe. Great funky guitar and vocals fitted the vibe really well. Great work on the harmony vocals. What's your recording setup ? I'm sure that you will enjoy it here. It's a very friendly helpful place.

simonjol

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« Reply #8 on: July 04, 2020, 11:30:50 PM »
@pompeyjazz thankyou so much, means a lot to get positive feedback from such talented folk on here. I am really enjoying hearing peoples work, will check your links too

My set up is very basic i record with a macbook pro using garageband and just a Squire telecaster and ovation semi accoustic. I keep the structure simple usually a few organ sounds or the odd synth. On this track i have used a plugin called vintage vocals which has a sample of 3 female soul singers. Its pretty inflexible bit good for the ooohs and ahhhs in a simple triad chord shape. Mixing is something i struggle with i do find it difficult to balance overall and vox often gets a bit muddy so great to hear you liked the harmonies :D
« Last Edit: July 05, 2020, 12:00:19 AM by simonjol »

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #9 on: July 05, 2020, 03:47:42 PM »
Good stuff @simonjol Hope that you stick around. It's a great place to be. Are you from Coventry? It's my home town

Andreas

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« Reply #10 on: July 05, 2020, 03:55:35 PM »
Great rocky tune @simonjol! I love the mystery in your voice in the song. Good work :)

simonjol

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« Reply #11 on: July 05, 2020, 06:20:36 PM »
Thanks Andreas! Really kind of you  to message I'm pleased you like it :)

PaulAds

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« Reply #12 on: July 05, 2020, 07:23:20 PM »
Howdy Simon...welcome along!

A very well put together song.

You're certainly getting your moneys worth out of that telecaster!

Vocals are good...and could probably come up in the mix a bit. I'm in no position to give vocal advice (!) but i think if you could take the key up a tone or so...it'd maybe easier to wring a bit more out of the very good lyrics?

Anyway...a quality number with which to open your account...well done!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

PaulyX

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« Reply #13 on: July 05, 2020, 09:08:51 PM »
Hi Simon, welcome.  I dug your song.  At first it made me think of Duran and then as it progressed with that dance beat and the wah-wah guitars it reminded me more of the "baggy" era (Happy Mondays, Primal Scream's "Screamadelica" etc) - all fine company to be keeping I think.  I loved it when the hi-hats came in big time after the choruses and the whole thing had a kind of smooth jam-session vibe to it.  I'd agree with what some others have said that the vocals are maybe a bit low in the mix, which made them sound a bit tentative, I'd give that fader a bit of a nudge up I think.  I hope you like the forum and stick around, it's a cool place.
It's all too beautiful.

simonjol

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« Reply #14 on: July 05, 2020, 09:37:10 PM »
Thanks guys for listening and your advice is very much appreciated. I do find mixing and particulalry vocals challenging. I use a snowball mic and its always a bit muddy in the mix i find especially with harmonies. Never really got the knack of spacing and tend to keep vox centre with guitars etc left and right.

The idea os to get a female vocal on the choruses as a duet which will hopefully give me more confidence to bring it out more in the mix haha

Thanks again :)