konalavadome

Day Dreaming - Hopefully a soul number (Alien Genre Challenge)

  • 13 Replies
  • 638 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« on: June 29, 2020, 07:20:28 PM »
So I drew soul, probably not my least favourite of the genres but nowhere near the top of the list.  I think that's been true for most of us and some of the songs have been brilliant.

This has taken so long because I keep going back to the stuff I do like 8), but that period of leaving it and revisiting it has definitely helped.  Given that I don't listen to this sort of stuff, my initial thought was 70's soul/Motown, but Motown had its own category.  Eventually it all clicked into place and I worked out what else fitted into the genre.

Vocally, I feel it is lacking because I just can't get the tone I was looking for or the growl to accentuate different parts and emotions.  More to work on!

Anyway, lyrics by Neil again (other than my running repairs ;D) and they relate to a girl he went out with.  She was a fair bit younger than him and for their second date he took her to Brighton, a good time was had by all and memories were created. 



Verse 1
Take me the coast, to London by the sea
Walking hand in hand, it’s where I wanna be

Coffee in the morning, then sights we’ve come to see
Laughter in the evening, when we were young and free
Pebbles on the beaches, ice creams on the pier
Sunshine on the prom, my memory is crystal clear

Verse 2 
Smiles recall the times, unveil the tattoo
Dreaming of the good times, dream of me and you

Nero’s in the morning, then Laines come into view
Drinking in the evening, the sky still shining blue
Paintings in the arches, and photos of the pier
Walking on the prom, my memory is crystal clear

Chorus
I’m day dreaming, dreaming on a summer’s day (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming, dreaming for tomorrow’s rays (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming, dreaming my life away (Dream my life away)

Verse 3
Hanging on the wall, cherished canvas art
Like paper caught in wind, written from the heart

Calm, cool and collected, wise beyond your years
Changing how to see things, overcome my fears 
Close eyes to dream, in my mind still here 
Dreaming on the prom, my memory is crystal clear

Chorus/Ending
I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)

I’m day dreaming, dreaming on a summer’s day (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming, dreaming for tomorrow’s rays (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming, dreaming on a summer’s day (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming, dreaming for tomorrow’s rays (Dream my life away)

I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)
I’m day dreaming my life away, dreaming on a summer’s day  with you (Dream my life away)
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5668
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #1 on: June 29, 2020, 08:38:17 PM »
Liking the "Sitting on the dock" intro Pete and some soulful horns. Thre is a good soulful quality to your vocals as well. Very well put together and a great addition to the increasingly impressive songs in the challenge

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1560
« Reply #2 on: June 29, 2020, 08:54:49 PM »
Groovy sunshine vibe to this poppy soul. Love the bass sound especially but love the spacy guitars too...and the drums!
You've got a nice sounding voice too you lucky bstard.

Good singalong chorus which is a must for a summer song isn't it?

Nice one.
Take it easy.

You can check my stuff out here. Mini-album getting bigger slowly. Free download if you're poorer than me.

Easy Life - Viscount Cramer

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #3 on: June 29, 2020, 09:07:44 PM »
Cracking stuff, Pete!

Vocal is excellent. Verses are really strong...to the point of just about overshadowing the chorus.

Nice story to look back on, I'm sure. I knew a girl once...and she was a good time...had by all  :P

I noticed the line from "Boy About Town"  as well as the "Pebbles on the Beach" line too...great source of inspiration which Neil's weaved in very nicely.

Brilliant stuff...and well done for getting such a great track together for the challenge!

heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

cowparsleyman

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2700
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
« Reply #4 on: June 30, 2020, 08:15:23 AM »
@PeteS - Congratulations on facing your near Nemesis, and coming up with a cracking song. Lovely Gtrs sound.


PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2020, 10:34:26 AM »
@pompeyjazz Thanks John.  We should put them all together on an album!

@Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra Thanks!  Drums are interesting, my lyricist was a bass player who turned to drums about a year ago and is having lessons to ensure no bad habits (wish I'd done that many years ago!) and this is the first song that he is playing on, previously it's always been me in Garageband.  He'll be chuffed.  As for my vocals, I'll definitely take that, but they need a lot more work!  Cheers.

@PaulAds Cheers Paul. I might have guessed it would be you to spot the lines  ;D. As for the girl, I'm not sure that's what he meant  ;D ;D

@cowparsleyman Thanks Rich, Guitars are slightly more my area than singing!
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

cowparsleyman

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2700
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2020, 11:42:48 AM »
@PeteS   - good call re the album...or at least a playlist on someone's SC

I feel for your Bassist-cum-drummer friend, I made the same journey about 10 years ago, after a couple of years I noticed when I was at a level that I could hold a beat and move around grooves, my songs sounded OK, then when I became a bit more able, they started not sounding as good, because the song only needed a simple groove.

You're a drummer too aren't you? For me learning drums, reading drum notation and understanding the application of rhythm really helped me in so many ways, learning rhythm in theory of music for classical guitar and whacking skins are 2 different things, rhythm was my weakest part of my playing in a band now it isn't.

Cowparsleydaughter always said that I played the drums like a lead guitarist, and it's true, I had to wear the less-is-more hat every time I sat on that drum stool, the trouble with that is when I was gigging as a drummer I was gagging to play the gtr solo, and when I was playing the gtr, I was thinking about the drum groove, that's why I love my home studio, I can do it all. AND make the production calls.

Oh yes, the other thing that's been mentioned on the forum is how un-enjoyable drum programming is, whilst I can sympathaise with that notion, it just takes a bit of practise (surprise surprise), it's so easy to just take a preset groove, but it doesn't take long to plan out and programme a cool bunch of grooves and fills that really shine, It's kind of noticeable on many tracks I hear that the drums have the least care and attention, they sound fine, but not really as hooky as they could be.

I was put onto BFD3 by someone on this forum and boy it's good, some drums have 7 or 8 articulations each, so so cool and a joy to work with, albeit a rather long learning phase.

Anyway, Pete, nice tune.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2020, 11:48:42 AM by cowparsleyman »

PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2020, 03:29:11 PM »
Hi @cowparsleyman,  He's coming on well but not yet at the stage where he will overcomplicate things.  At the end of the day, I'm the producer and I'll just change it  ;D

I'm not a drummer but I think I have a good sense of rhythm.  I have found however, that just recording guitar shows up the errors, as it does with any instrument to be fair, so I have to put a lot more effort into precise timing of pieces.

I don't mind drum programming and I've certainly learnt a lot just this year by listening to you guys and working with Neil.  I hear a good beat for the main part, that's easy, it's the subtle variations and changes in chorus and mid 8 that makes it work.  I am hoping that my songs will improve now that Neil is able to contribute more on that front.  We certainly have a couple on the go where I used a decent drum track from Garageband to get it written but now working with him, we have a much more varied and interesting track.  I even had to admit that to him   ???
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

adamfarr

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3149
    • SongEspresso
« Reply #8 on: July 01, 2020, 09:39:26 AM »
Pete - lovely song. I love the way this challenge has brought out so many great songs, not in our normal style but always with a recognisable touch of ourselves.

None of us round here is Otis Redding (except maybe Leo Lostboy !) and that's OK. But I seem to remember Mozart saying to Salieri, you Italians think you're so emotional with your gesticulating hysteria but we Austrians are emotional in a deeper way (or something like that).

Love the bass and guitars on here (and the drumming of course!). The relaxed tempo gives a fabulous atmosphere, just right for this one. The lyrical details in the verses really take us there. And the brass section gives the chorus an extra boost. Your vocal is more than great - quite 80s and quite indie to my ear., which is right up my street.

Maybe this is a new sub-genre - Southern Soul? Really happy you took up the challenge.

PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« Reply #9 on: July 01, 2020, 03:31:01 PM »
Thanks Adam, appreciate the comments!  Because It's not my genre, I still hear things that I could do to it, but you have to draw the line somewhere.  Whilst the guitar chord structure was the first thing I wrote and that gave it the feel I was looking for, the bass and synth tracking was the key to give it the summer vibe.
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

MichaelA

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1499
    • Sixth Beatle - a music themed novel by Michael A (not much about  The Beatles!)
« Reply #10 on: July 01, 2020, 03:42:22 PM »
Hi Pete the song really comes to life with the chorus which seals its soul credentials. A real sing-along treat. Engaging lyrics help sell this a lot too, sweet story.

I wouldn't have guessed this was you, so you stepped out of your comfort zone with aplomb, with a chart contender effort.

You wouldn't really guess your reluctance to take on this genre, it's probably done you the world of good, proving your hidden versatility to yourself.
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« Reply #11 on: July 01, 2020, 03:44:42 PM »
Hi, as I've said before to others participating in this challenge, I don't know how you do it! I think you need talent to write  good song, but to write a good song in another genre, I just don't think I could really do it :o :P. Lots to like here nice languid feel to it, great sounding instruments and arrangements too. Good vocals, what's not to like?

Cheers
Jamie

PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« Reply #12 on: July 01, 2020, 10:41:44 PM »
Thanks Jamie, really appreciate it.
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

PeteS

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 704
« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2020, 08:29:28 PM »
Hi Pete the song really comes to life with the chorus which seals its soul credentials. A real sing-along treat. Engaging lyrics help sell this a lot too, sweet story.

I wouldn't have guessed this was you, so you stepped out of your comfort zone with aplomb, with a chart contender effort.

You wouldn't really guess your reluctance to take on this genre, it's probably done you the world of good, proving your hidden versatility to yourself.
Hi Michael, thanks so much for the comments.  I’m still not sure I really like it that much but others, both on here and at home seem to like it a lot.  It was definitely out of my comfort zone but I might reluctantly do another  ;D
« Last Edit: July 03, 2020, 08:52:23 AM by PeteS »
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial