Flame of the West - Echo Dogs

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PeteS

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« on: June 23, 2020, 11:04:25 PM »
Hi,

Still putting the finishing touches to my Alien Genre song so I thought I'd post one we did about 2 months ago.  As a partnership, me and my lyricist Neil, have a constant tension between my liking for more rocky faster songs and his preference for slightly slower more mellow numbers.

So Flame of the West is not my favourite, although I am quite proud of it, but it is his.

It is about a relationship he had that almost made it across the line but fell just short.  Fair to say, it still had a significant impact on him so well worthy of a song.



There's also a video for this one at


Verse 1
I got thoughts of emptiness, Eating away inside of me
And I can’t hide this loneliness, Swimming against the tide
Like the scarecrow whistling in the breeze
Like the falling of, Crisp autumn leaves

Verse 2
Feel the echos of the past, memories won’t release
Hear the noise in the silence, see the haze of sky
Like the hinges creaking on a gate
Like the stillness of the dawn awake

Chorus
There’s no quick solution
Thereks no easy answer
There’s no quick solution
No fairy-tale ending

This life is just a stage, in a far far bigger game
It’s the taking part for me, For me is all in vain
Like a preacher, spread the divine
Like a seeker of the suicide,

Chorus

There’s no quick solution - No overnight success
No easy answer - No obvious best
There’s no quick solution - No overnight success
No fairy-tale ending

There’s no quick solution - No overnight success
No easy answer - No obvious best
There’s no quick solution - No overnight success
No fairy-tale ending
No flame of the west!



New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

PeteS

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« Reply #1 on: August 14, 2020, 03:53:47 PM »
I was going to put a new song up as we have 3 or 4 finished or close at the moment, but I wanted to bump this.  66 views, some listens on SoundCloud but no comments. 

It's rare to get no comments, so if you hated it, don't worry just thought I'd ask.

Feel free to ignore it as there's a more upbeat song from Echo Dogs coming shortly!

Cheers

Pete
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

Unclenny

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« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2020, 04:36:45 PM »
I like it. Could be a bit more dynamics in the instrumentation......things like bringing the piano up in the chorus after the "There's no quick solution" lines.

Glad you bumped it....looking forward to your new stuff.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

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PeteS

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« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2020, 06:36:14 PM »
Thanks @Unclenny.  I think you have hit the nail on the head as to why it’s not my favourite.  It’s a bit single paced, not enough highs and lows musically. 
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

kevysc

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« Reply #4 on: August 15, 2020, 08:54:56 AM »
I actually like this, think it has a solid base and would polish up well with some embellishments, depends on how much time you want to put into it.

A couple of suggestions :

1. Add some backing vocals, particularly in the chorus: this would lift and add colour
2. Consider replacing the synth strings with guitar ( or doubling with  a guitar), to give it a rawer / brighter sound.

Hope this helps,

Kevin

Kafla

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« Reply #5 on: August 15, 2020, 09:01:31 AM »
Amazing tone on that guitar - it’s so hard to get that right - would love to be able to do that ❤️

It’s a finely crafted , nicely arranged song so well played.

I am a fan of a build so I would get a second voice harmonising and save the strings for the 2nd chorus and build towards that impact.

Well done 👏🏻

PeteS

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« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2020, 02:05:56 PM »
I actually like this, think it has a solid base and would polish up well with some embellishments, depends on how much time you want to put into it.

A couple of suggestions :

1. Add some backing vocals, particularly in the chorus: this would lift and add colour
2. Consider replacing the synth strings with guitar ( or doubling with  a guitar), to give it a rawer / brighter sound.

Hope this helps,

Kevin
Thanks Kev, it definitely needs something, the strings sound to smooth so a guitar might be the answer.
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

PeteS

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« Reply #7 on: August 15, 2020, 02:08:12 PM »
Amazing tone on that guitar - it’s so hard to get that right - would love to be able to do that ❤️

It’s a finely crafted , nicely arranged song so well played.

I am a fan of a build so I would get a second voice harmonising and save the strings for the 2nd chorus and build towards that impact.

Well done 👏🏻
Thanks for the compliment @Kafla.  Good suggestions, I’ll give it a try!
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #8 on: August 15, 2020, 02:25:46 PM »
Lovely opening acoustic guitar to set the tone.
I was expecting a big  contrast between sections but this is more subtle. 

I'd perhaps compliment the imstrumental string break with a guitar solo to further lift this section and then lift the song with additional instruments to help the build.

Lyrically, the imagery involving the scarecrow is very strong.

This was an enjoyable listen for me. It's a fine song that is sure to grow with subsequent listens. Perhaps an additional heavier (more rock influenced) section would truly lift this song to another level. That way, both writers will be more fulfilled.
Off for my second listen

Paul
« Last Edit: August 15, 2020, 02:28:49 PM by Wicked Deeds »

PeteS

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« Reply #9 on: August 15, 2020, 03:26:07 PM »
Thanks Paul, makes perfect sense.  Interesting though that the comments all suggest improvements, which is exactly what I wanted as it does feel a bit one dimensional to me.  I might fall in love with it again when I re record it!

Cheers!
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #10 on: August 16, 2020, 09:05:59 AM »
@PeteS - Nice tune, lovely prod, but as you say, nothing sets you on fire in it. I agree with Kev about adding contrast..the strings are maybe a little predictable, a close string quartet might work well, or a couple of cellos (seems to be the vogue here) and possibly bring em in later as unclenny says.(I can't remember which genre you are doing) .

To me it sounds like you have no belief in what your'e singing, you don't convince me that this song is something that stirs your passion.

You could also change the LVox motif a bit to add contrast, you know the usual trick - inversions etc that work well.

On a purely personal note, I found some of the lyrical rhytmns straining to fit.

Hope this hopes Pete and Neil

Jamie

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« Reply #11 on: August 16, 2020, 04:44:55 PM »
Hi, I agree with the general drift of other comments, it needs more conviction from the singer, it would benefit from some colour and contrast , and I also found some of the lyrical timing a bit 'forced'. There is a good song in there, and the production sounded good. every days a school day ;)

Cheers ;D

Jamie

PeteS

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« Reply #12 on: August 16, 2020, 09:46:49 PM »
@PeteS - Nice tune, lovely prod, but as you say, nothing sets you on fire in it. I agree with Kev about adding contrast..the strings are maybe a little predictable, a close string quartet might work well, or a couple of cellos (seems to be the vogue here) and possibly bring em in later as unclenny says.(I can't remember which genre you are doing) .

To me it sounds like you have no belief in what your'e singing, you don't convince me that this song is something that stirs your passion.

You could also change the LVox motif a bit to add contrast, you know the usual trick - inversions etc that work well.

On a purely personal note, I found some of the lyrical rhytmns straining to fit.

Hope this hopes Pete and Neil

Thanks Rich, it really does help.  I compose the tunes but I always struggled with this one.  In it’s simplist form I clearly liked it or I would have rejected it but I never loved the final version.   All oF these comments will really help if I re record it.
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

PeteS

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« Reply #13 on: August 16, 2020, 09:50:35 PM »
Hi, I agree with the general drift of other comments, it needs more conviction from the singer, it would benefit from some colour and contrast , and I also found some of the lyrical timing a bit 'forced'. There is a good song in there, and the production sounded good. every days a school day ;)

Cheers ;D

Jamie
Thanks Jamie, I’m glad I bumped this so I could get these comments.  I knew it wasn’t as good as the other stuff we’ve produced.  I hope we get the time to reproduce it but whether we agree on a new mix will be another question.

This is why I joined this forum, to get negative feedback.  It is easy to compliment but much harder to criticise so I really do appreciate the comments.   
New album out now - Wrong Time, Wrong Place : https://open.spotify.com/album/7AKxi8xiendb9dY22v4QnP?si=AR0VZ1pjSDOwVosifVd_sA
Instagram @echodogsofficial

The Estuary (SWE)

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« Reply #14 on: August 20, 2020, 01:09:24 PM »
Now, this is a song I would have liked to have written! Nice bittersweet melody and lyrics performed in a vulnerable and unobtrusive style that suits them well. Reminds me a little of how John Lennon sounded on some of his solo albums. A good composition always stands out.