konalavadome

New song-Metal and dust

  • 27 Replies
  • 1027 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« on: June 18, 2020, 02:40:18 PM »
Hi all, a new rock song for your consideration. Heavy rock riff song. I decided to have a go at writing in a relatively obscure time signature. I think it creates a certain tension.Another cheery post apocalypse/post industrial song. The idea is that at some point there will be an event (zero day) where another man made disaster begins. You almost certainly won't realise it at the time, but later it will be obvious that the clock started ticking then. After 75 years of objectively 'good times' with few wars, economic growth, improved living standards etc we will maybe be heading for the next big bang.As I said, cheery ;).Anyhoo, your constructive crits are welcome.

Cheers

Jamie

https://soundcloud.com/jamie1802/metal-and-dust


Metal and dust

Zero day disconnect
Please don't lie theres no effect

Chorus

Too many lies, there's no surprise
No-one looks,into your eyes

New day sun will surely rise
Same old day no surprise

Look where we came from, gas and dust
Here comes the future, metal and rust
Where are we going, and who do we trust
Here comes the future, metal and dust

Bleeding hearts deselect
No more time to reflect

Chorus

Pushing back who will react
Careful you don't get trapped

Unclenny

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 306
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2020, 02:55:54 PM »
I love the time signature. What's cool about this tune for me is the absolute weight of the rhythm section counterbalanced by the somewhat lighter tone of the vocals......metal and dust.

My only issue with this song is how it ends on that guitar solo. I wanted a whole lot more. I was hearing an extended instrumental section and then more of those great vocals.  :)

The lyrics work well with the feeling of the whole production....as well as with the feeling of these times.
"The main thing is to have a gutsy approach....but use your head." Julia Child

https://www.soundclick.com/artist/default.cfm?band

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5668
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2020, 08:46:01 PM »
Hi @Jamie Have been really looking forward to listening to this since we discussed songs in weird time signatures the other week. The bass is a killer sound and gives the song such drive. You seem to be exploring lots of different dimensions in your writing just recently. That's absolutely brilliant  :) Surely about 8 minutes too short for a prog masterpiece though  ;D Top work as ever dude

MonnoDB

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1265
    • Soundcloud Profile
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2020, 09:53:59 PM »
Oh yes - I do love an interesting time sig (I'm such a songwriting nerd!) .. I aspire to such inventiveness. I LOVE this!! Lovely heavy bass and guitars.. drums are great.. Only note for me is that I felt it could do with even more harmonies - layered...

Fab!!!

cowparsleyman

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2700
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
« Reply #4 on: June 18, 2020, 10:23:24 PM »
@Jamie - Dear  mr Squire/fripp,  gorgeous gtr sound, my cuppa tea entirely...You’re getting good a this prog stuff.

Well on with the dress and foxes head...

These are words with a D this time....





Bostonfan2

  • *
  • Solo Gig
  • ***
  • Posts: 255
« Reply #5 on: June 19, 2020, 01:15:54 AM »
Really great sounding keys behind the driving bass / Rhythm !
I would have liked the vocals a bit more upfront, but they sound great as always
with your voice. I got a Yes feel from this and as mentioned the time sig works
very well here! nicely done Jamie :)

mickyplankton

  • *
  • Platinum Album
  • ****
  • Posts: 726
« Reply #6 on: June 19, 2020, 11:46:24 AM »
Hi Jamie. Lots to love in this. The industrial backing and rhythm are great. Drums are epic. It’s a cool song. I do have a slight issue with the production. It’s a bit too clean, and I think you can easily fix this by experimenting with a few vocal effects as it’s the vocals that sound the most clean in the production overall. I love the outro and the last few seconds offer a glimpse of a sound you could potentially develop further. Love how the drums let rip a bit more.

rightly

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1912
  • newer Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/2rightly
    • My cloud o' sound.
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2020, 01:52:50 PM »
Ah I really like this.
Well done Jamie

I wish I could do this. Lol.

Really thrilling.
Everything is fine here.
But I’d have put more more discord and anger in the voice. That’s just me.
Top notch! 
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

shadowfax

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3178
  • Singer songwriter
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2020, 04:43:27 PM »
Cracking bass line and sound! 8) anther goodun from you, my only slight crit could be that maybe the bass could stop for a few bars somewhere then come bangin back in again...only a slight crit though...doesn't sound a bit like ABBA..LOL ;D
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

Binladeda

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1234
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2020, 07:13:22 PM »

 Hey Jamie ;D

 Hope you're coping well with all the sht going on.  Your music certainly hasn't suffered ;D. This is a top song mate...
 Love the vocal. Nice calm, cool feel/delivery, worked well against the aggresive guitars, and some lovely melodies ;D

 Amazing arrangement...as usual ;D and great production. Nothing I can criticise, or would change. 
 Always a pleasure my friend ;D ;D ;D

Nowt as queer as folk...........my gran

Grubstar

  • *
  • Open Mic
  • **
  • Posts: 235
« Reply #10 on: June 20, 2020, 12:27:23 PM »
I really like the heavy distorted  bass riff and prog drums that underpin this opus. Great vocals and great guitar you really are on a roll and just keep on getting better.

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« Reply #11 on: June 20, 2020, 02:11:32 PM »
Hi guys, thanks for listening.

@Unclenny
Hi, not that long ago I would have turned this into a 5-7 min song without even trying. I've really tried to home in on the key elements of the songs and keeping them tight. All my recent songs have been in the 3-4 min range .Previously the vast majority of my songs were over 5 mins, so its a conscious decision.But, I do agree that the genre of this song would normally demand a guitar solo and more freaking out on the outro. Glad you liked the time signature and the instrumentation, I think I delivered what I was after!

@pompeyjazz
Hi John,  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D see my answer above ref the length of the song, you're not wrong. Yes I seem to have found some new inspiration from somewhere and also trying new things  with instruments and structures. Glad you enjoyed it!

@MonnoDB
Hi Karen, it was nice to meet you last night, and to disclose my nationality ;D. Yes, more harmonies could have improved it, but to be honest it took me ages to record the ones I did use, I found it really difficult to replicate the timing of the vocals over that signature :P. So pleased you enjoyed it! Might have a go at another 5/4 song 8).

Cheers guys!

Jamie

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« Reply #12 on: June 20, 2020, 02:22:33 PM »
Hi Thanks for listening!

@cowparsleyman

Hi Rich, if only I could play like the gentlemen you named! Have you ever listened to Fracture by King Crimson? It blows my mind that anyone can play that, listen to it all the way through! Back to the make up and outfits dept for the next song!

@Bostonfan2
Hi, I'm so pleased you mentioned the keyboards, they were a late addition. I'd tried a lot of different keyboard ideas that didn't seem to work. Just before I mixed it I added the keys as an afterthought, I thought they really added to the song. Love Yes, so thanks for that. I actually spent lots of time trying to optimise the vocals, better luck next time ;).

@mickyplankton

Hi, At one stage I did have vocal effects, but I took them off as I wanted there to be a contrast between the backing and the vocals........oh well ;). Yes I did think of extending the song, but as I said further up the thread it was a conscious decision to keep the song 'tight'. Glad you enjoyed it!


Cheers
Jamie

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« Reply #13 on: June 20, 2020, 02:32:27 PM »
Hi thanks for listening!

@rightly
Hi, yes my wife said the same thing about the vocal, bu tas I've said before I'm stuck with the voice I have :P ::) ;D. Glad you enjoyed it!

@shadowfax
Hi Kevin, sorry I didn't mean to offend you with the ABBA comment ;D ;D ;D. I get the comment about dropping the bass out, that's why I put the 4/4 section into the song to break up the driving of the main time signature.....Thanks glad you thought it a goodun ;)

@Binladeda
Hi Bin, hope you are well, thanks for the great comments, it was a lot of fun to do. I'd tried a 7/4 composition before and couldn't 'get it'. But I fell straight into the groove with this bass riff playing with the drum track in a few seconds...astonishing for me ;D. Cheers Bin, great to hear from you!


@Grubstar

Hi, thanks for your great comments, I do seem to be on a bit of a roll at the moment! I'll need to keep it going!


Thanks guys, lots of fab comments!

Cheers


Jamie

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #14 on: June 20, 2020, 10:38:58 PM »
Another corker, Jamie!

Sounds fantastic...super vocals, harmonies and great playing. The end caught me completely off-guard too!

To be honest, I was confused trying to keep track of what was happening as the song went along...I think I probably need to expand my thinking :)

Really excellent!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter