Damn Things

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Maya Clars

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« on: June 13, 2020, 10:02:15 AM »
Hello, I hope you're having a good day. Last May 1st I released my second song entitled "Damn Things".

YouTube:


This is the lyrics:
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I'm fooling around again
Playing with a flame
I bet you're wondering
Why my eyes are red

I don't know
I haven't slept
Oh wait a sec
Where is my head?
I'm lost in days
My deadly years
Please take me back

But people still asking
What I'm planning
What should I answer
If I'm a goat
I'm not a newspaper
No brilliant articles
But broken particles
Give me a shot

It's bad to pretend to be someone else
So look
That's who I am
Another hologram

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
As it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things
(To do your damn things)

I'm sleeping
And do nothing
My philosophy isn't ducks and drakes
My heart breaks
And brain fades
I guess I have headaches
My reality is a disease
Sorry you can't believe it
You better take a pill
And shut up
Shut up

But you're still asking
What I'm planning
What should I answer
If I'm a ghost
I'm not a newspaper
No broken particles
But stupid articles
Let me go

You know It's good to pretend
But I don't know what else can be wrong
When you are on your own

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
As it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things
(To do your damn things)
(To do your damn)

Tatata-da
Tata-ta-ta-ta
Tatata-da
Tata-ta-ta-ta
Tatata-da
Tata-ta-ta-ta-ta-a
Ta-taa-a-a

Don't say what to do
If you don't know the end
I'm not in mood
And I don't know who I am
Mistake on mistake
Can't handle it today
Tear off the skin of my face
Just give me some space

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
But it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things

It's not familiar to you
As it's familiar to me
So stop pretending to be sick
And go to do your damn things
« Last Edit: January 14, 2021, 04:22:39 PM by Maya Clars »

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2020, 10:13:48 AM »
Nice beat. I can't make out most of the words, so I can't respond to the lyric. Could you add the words to the post? Check out some other posts to see how people usually do it.

I do like the melody and the rhythm of the piece. It's catchy and engaging. If you did the production on this yourself, you're a lot better with production than I am!

For the future, I recommend reading through the guidelines to get some ideas how to get the most out of the forum. Nice first song post.

Sterix

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« Reply #2 on: June 13, 2020, 05:08:52 PM »
First off. Nice catchy tune.

As a lyricist I'm always somewhat interested in the lyrics. I like them when they're interesting and make you think about them - and these certainly do that.

Weclome to the forum.
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5 guys named Lars

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« Reply #3 on: June 14, 2020, 06:42:23 AM »
First off welcome to the forum.
This is a fabulous melodic song with a catchy chorus. Well performed & produced with interesting lyrics.
And only 17? It makes you sick !  ;D
« Last Edit: June 14, 2020, 06:51:37 AM by 5 guys named Lars »

Sing4me88

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« Reply #4 on: June 14, 2020, 05:54:55 PM »
I am loving this choon! As others have said it's catchy as hell and really polished production wise.Did you do all the singing, writing and production yourself? It's got a very 'now' feel to it and defo the kinda thing that would feel at home on Spotify playlists, YouTube and radio. For me, it has this really cool crossover between Billie Eilish 'How to Bury a Friend' and Gwen Stefani 'The Sweet Escape' (ie Real Bad Girl) in places. Looking forward to hearing more from you!

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #5 on: June 15, 2020, 12:21:09 AM »
I came back and listened again. Thanks for adding the lyrics. I stand by what I said earlier and pretty much agree with the others so far. I would like to add one thing. I am extremely picky about the way words are used and how they fit into the rhythm of the music (part of prosody). I noticed several instances in which the prosody of your song could be made stronger by small adjustments to the way the words are sung against the rhythm. Most people aren't as strongly opinionated as I am about prosody (and even though I claim to be particular, I regularly break the rules myself), and if you aren't into that part of songwriting, feel free to ignore me.  ;D

I think it's amazing you can write and perform something that good at only 17! I'm much, much older than you are and I'm still struggling for that level of writing.

PopTodd

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« Reply #6 on: June 15, 2020, 01:09:41 AM »
Right off: the beat got my foot tapping. That's a good sign.
The cadence of your lyrics and singing reminds me a bit of Fiona Apple; also a good thing.
I am loving pretty much everything about this.
Although, without the printed lyrics, I would not be able to understand what you are singing which, while it's a very minor complaint, since everything else is so great, is a shame. Because the lyrics are pretty good.
Nice work. I would actually check out the rest of the album, which is pretty high praise.

Maya Clars

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« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2020, 08:06:55 AM »
For PopTodd
Hello thankyou so much for giving me a feedback. I'm really happy that you liked the song and for remembering Fiona Apple from it is so overwhelming. Please check my post again, I included the lyrics on the bottom part of it. I appreciate all of your words and thankyou for listening. Goodluck to you and Keep safe.

Maya Clars

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« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2020, 08:14:48 AM »
For CaliaMoko
Hello I hope you're having a good day. Thankyou for letting me know your opinion about my song. I really appreciate it. Yes I edited my post and put the lyrics because I remember that I should put them according to the guidelines. Thankyou for pointing out the prosody and I agree with you that I should improve this part. I will reconsider it and learn more about it. Yes I'm doing my songs and everything on it by myself using computer softwares, I'm really passionate about music since I was 14. Anyway age is just a number and passion is not. Goodluck to you and wishing you all the best. I hope you will resolve your struggle in writing. Keep safe!

Maya Clars

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« Reply #9 on: June 15, 2020, 08:20:10 AM »
For Sing4me88
Hello thankyou so much for giving me your feedback about my song. I'm glad that you liked it and yes I'm doing everything in my music by myself, sounds tiring but I really don't feel it when I'm doing them. Wow that's so good to hear because I really love Billie Eilish and she's one of my inspiration in music industry. Expect that I will do more music, thankyou and have a good day! Keep safe!

IronKnee

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« Reply #10 on: June 15, 2020, 08:20:21 AM »
This is pop awesomeness. You have a fine vocal delivery. The songwriting is really good.
Good luck with any musical asperations you may have.......
Really good!!
                          -Tom
"I know the truth, by my struggle against it"
                                                          -IronKnee

Maya Clars

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« Reply #11 on: June 15, 2020, 08:23:32 AM »
For 5 guys named Lars
Hello thankyou for a warm welcome. I appreciate your good feedback and giving time for my song. Yes I'm only 17 and thankyou for the complement. Have a great day!

Maya Clars

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« Reply #12 on: June 15, 2020, 08:26:10 AM »
For Sterix
Hello thankyou for giving me your feedback. I'm really happy that a lyricist find my song lyrics interesting, that's really overwhelming. I'll improve more in writing lyrics. Have a great day and keep safe!

Maya Clars

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« Reply #13 on: June 15, 2020, 08:28:30 AM »
For IronKnee (Tom)
Thankyou so much for your good feedback about my song. Your complements will be one of my inspiration to improve my skill as an artist. Goodluck to you too and Have a great day!

moraamarolaloba

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« Reply #14 on: June 15, 2020, 07:26:53 PM »
Hola @Maya Clars

what a catchy song, I'm still humming it .... I love the lyrics, many important things in everyday words ...
I really like this line
"My reality is a disease"

Congratulations, the musical arrangement is also great and your voice gives it a touch full of femininity. I really liked discovering you.
I did not know that to live we had to die so many times
My Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAaK7mFK7fUpf1E99I1Qtow