listen to you

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rightly

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« on: June 10, 2020, 10:18:53 PM »
A wrote this together with a talented friend.
As yet he doesn't want to be named, He'll have his reasons

Anyway I love this song.

feedback would be lovely!!


Link

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/listen-to-you

lyrics

Listen To You


bring me here,
to leave me here
out on the course with no idea
toe the line,
work overtime
the salacious lie keeps the man on-side

should I refuse the force of you?
I don't have to
I listen to you, I listen to you

your name down in
history
with fiction never so clean
now I'm trailing
in your dust
you take the heat for the both of us

should I refuse the force of you?
I don't think so
as you confuse my point of view
you turn my screw, and I... and I...
all intent has come undone
here in hesitation you turn me on

should I refuse the force of you?
I don't mean to
I listen to you, I listen to you

your name down in history

______________________

by Rightly & mystery friend
« Last Edit: June 11, 2020, 08:32:51 AM by rightly »
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #1 on: June 11, 2020, 08:18:58 AM »
Another highly original number from you @rightly I got a real 60's feel from this one and was reminded of the Walker Brothers. It's more of a simple arrangement that some of your more recent lavish productions but I think it works really well. A great listen  :)

montydog

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« Reply #2 on: June 11, 2020, 04:18:23 PM »
Hi,
I think that's the first time I've seen "salacious" used on here - well done! I love your vocals -kind of a cross between Nick Cave and Brian Ferry that strangely works. I too like the stripped back instrumentation. Totally original, non-derivative and strangely beautiful. I like it.
M

rightly

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« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2020, 06:34:07 PM »
Hi,
I think that's the first time I've seen "salacious" used on here - well done! I love your vocals -kind of a cross between Nick Cave and Brian Ferry that strangely works. I too like the stripped back instrumentation. Totally original, non-derivative and strangely beautiful. I like it.
M
I’m slowly coming around to the idea
More stripped down the better
It might be a necessary journey to trying many things out

You seem to have high standards.
I’m always happy to read you like a song of mine.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

shadowfax

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« Reply #4 on: June 13, 2020, 09:00:52 AM »
Gotta agree with monty, yeah..strangely beautiful! another uncompromising in it's originality song, off the charts original my friend..
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PopTodd

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« Reply #5 on: June 13, 2020, 01:48:04 PM »
I really like your voice, someone mentioned Nick Cave and that is what I am hearing, too. Maybe a little Bowie, too. One thing, however: you do tend to get a little pitchy at times, or maybe like you aren't quite sure what note you want to sing, so you kinda wind up somewhere that is nowhere.
If you could iron that out, this would be even more powerful.
I do like the minimal backing. But, again... that just puts even more focus on your voice.

One lyrical nit: the word "history" in the second verse. I think you might be able to come up with a better, more powerful word or image. "Down in history" is just a bit overdone, I think.

Nonetheless, it's a pretty great tune. Beautiful stuff.

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #6 on: June 14, 2020, 06:55:29 PM »
@rightly - yeah .. really you, stripped is your thing, its all lyrics, rhythm and feel, who needs pads, intricate gtrs.

Nit nits, kein Kopfläuse
« Last Edit: June 16, 2020, 12:22:57 PM by cowparsleyman »

rightly

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« Reply #7 on: June 15, 2020, 02:06:42 PM »
I really like your voice, someone mentioned Nick Cave and that is what I am hearing, too. Maybe a little Bowie, too. One thing, however: you do tend to get a little pitchy at times, or maybe like you aren't quite sure what note you want to sing, so you kinda wind up somewhere that is nowhere.
If you could iron that out, this would be even more powerful.
I do like the minimal backing. But, again... that just puts even more focus on your voice.

One lyrical nit: the word "history" in the second verse. I think you might be able to come up with a better, more powerful word or image. "Down in history" is just a bit overdone, I think.

Nonetheless, it's a pretty great tune. Beautiful stuff.

Thanks for the frankness.
I recall doing the vocal for this,
I think I just jumped straight in, knowing the map not the territory.
So there’s clearly substance to your observations.

I’ve never used
Name down in history
Didn’t know it was overused.
I never thought I’d be singing
You turn my screw
Lol. Now that really is slutty. Lol.
I must be slipping.

The next time I’ll work on this is when I record my “one takes” acoustic album.
I’ve got so many projects flopping about simultaneously,
I just can’t go back for a rewrite.
These things require an element of momentum.

@PopTodd

I am slowly learning to not be so fast with jumping in.
I suppose you’re right on the money.

All the best buddy.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

PopTodd

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« Reply #8 on: June 15, 2020, 02:15:00 PM »
@rightly
Glad that you took my observations/suggestions for what they were -- just that observations and suggestions. Re-reading my response, I don't think I emphasized enough that I really like this song. Because I do.
And I like your style, it is very much my thing. Big Cave and Bowie fan and you hint at both of those. I will be sure to check out more of your stuff.

Paulski

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« Reply #9 on: June 16, 2020, 03:02:09 PM »
Hi @rightly yeah it's all been said - very innovative, always a fascinating journey you take us on.
I love the lyrics - just enough obscurity to keep us guessing. Turned my screw for sure :)
Paul

IronKnee

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« Reply #10 on: June 17, 2020, 06:59:08 AM »
Good sound to this, Rightly............funny, I heard a bemoaned and troubled vocal from the spirit of Roy Orbison in your delivery. Pretty cool, when I think about it.
I like the song.........especially, when I think that it could be a long lost R.O.
Good stuff........
                                 -Tom
"I know the truth, by my struggle against it"
                                                          -IronKnee

mickyplankton

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« Reply #11 on: June 17, 2020, 05:41:28 PM »
Hi Rightly. Always good to hear that unique voice in action with the signature wandering melodies and obscure lyrics where the story just is within reach but not quite. Backing is great on this track. Everything sits well in the mix. Drums are just right.
Enjoyed. Listening to this. Cheers Micky

rightly

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« Reply #12 on: June 18, 2020, 08:44:36 AM »
Hi Rightly. Always good to hear that unique voice in action with the signature wandering melodies and obscure lyrics where the story just is within reach but not quite. Backing is great on this track. Everything sits well in the mix. Drums are just right.
Enjoyed. Listening to this. Cheers Micky


@mickyplankton

Glad you like the track.
It was a quick write.
I don’t know why.
I was happy with the results very early on.

I’m writing working on two albums simultaneously.
It’s frustrating. I find myself having a favourite. I tried to change direction midstream but I see clearly it doesn’t work that way.
Darn it, I wish I could say I’ve got some time coming up but I really don’t. Lol.

Thanks for commenting.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

Jamie

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« Reply #13 on: June 18, 2020, 10:49:21 AM »
@rightly

HI, agree with the comments about the arrangement and the singing. I like the drum track especially. I also really liked your previous more complex arrangements they were very interesting too!


Cheers
Jamie

MonnoDB

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« Reply #14 on: June 18, 2020, 10:06:43 PM »
This is great - love the drums and that subtle keys part... great lyric (I did a double take when I saw the thread as I have a song of the same title :) )..  Sometimes the quick writes are the best.. Enjoyed very much,..