[MonnoDB]

Evening all!

The lockdown gets to us all... this, I guess, is my lockdown song.... sorta kinda - the chorus lyric definitely came from that place..

This is the first time in ages I've produced anything other than a 1+1 and (I checked) the first time in over a year I've added drums to a track - I fell out with them big time a while back. So it was challenging in the extreme... Last song was all organic, and acoustic including the piano.. this time I'm in midi heaven... only "real" instrument is the bass.. and the vox obviously.. Massive shout out to the very patient @Jambrains for helping me in the background including identifying some mad stuff I introduced into a mix by accident (note to self - be careful playing with Logic plugins!!!)... and other sage advice to a "challenged" mixer..

I'm sure I'm not done - so please as always, honest feedback on all and any aspects.. There's one lyric line I'll change at least (I won't say which one but it's annoying me and it's my 5th version of the line!) ...

https://soundcloud.com/monnodb/out-of-here

Out of Here

I can't bear it
This feeling tugging at me
I swear it's coming out of nowhere
Now it's swirling, curling 'round my sanity
You hold me to calm me 'cos I'm gasping for air

I've gotta get out of here
Gotta run, gotta jump, gotta land right
And then I know we'll be alright
We gotta get out of here
Gotta run through open spaces
With no familiar faces
Just you and me

I can't take it
Cant' take any more fear
It's pouring through my body like rain
My reserves are depleted
I'm weak and I'm needy
You want me to believe that I'm not going insane

I've gotta get out of here
Gotta run, gotta jump, gotta land right
And then I know we'll be alright
We gotta get out of here
Gotta run through open spaces
With no familiar faces
Just you and me

No more isolation
These walls are crashing in on me
The lights are flashing, blinding me
You're my inspiration
You see in me what I don't see
You bolster me
Cos you believe in me

I've gotta get out of here
Gotta run, gotta jump, gotta land right
And then I know we'll be alright
We gotta get out of here
Gotta run through open spaces
With no familiar faces
Just you and me

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Karen @MonnoDB There's a real frustrated and desperate feel to the lyrics on this number reflecting what a lot of us are feeling. I particularly like the emphasis that you use with "The walls are crashing in on me" Liked the backing track, great subtle use of synths and the mix sounds fabulous to me. Top quality vocals and bv's as usual. Another winner for me     

[PaulAds]

I thought this was super. The chorus is a real winner...i wondered if maybe I'd have gone large on the chorus as the "gotta get out of here" line is fantastic. I thought I'd maybe have drawn out the "got to get" bit every time... to set up the next line more...but I really like the snappier "gotta get" delivery too. Plus there maybe wasn't room for it, on reflection...

Because I've been agonising over trying to sort out a load of drum tracks in the last few days...i wondered if the internal mix of the drums could do with a tweak? There was a loud cymbal crash I'd maybe pull back and maybe a little more hihats to brighten it up and keep it tootling along ...and then maybe as I mused earlier...to bring the drums to the fore in that great chorus. Maybe flies in the face of the claustrophobic feel...i was thinking like looking through the bars of a cell and raising the spirits and getting that adrenaline rush of thinking of escaping to freedom...and then sinking back into the verses as you look away from the window and notice the locked door and the bucket in the corner...

But having said all that...i really loved it as it is. Super vocals too...and quite special.

[Unclenny]

Great song...great mix. The bass really cements things together for me. Your vocals sound smooth and oh so professional. 

As for picking a few nits......I agree with @PaulAds about a couple of those cymbal crashes. And.....I wonder how it would sound if you held off on the drums at the very beginning and let the piano start alone. Maybe bring the drums in with that tom fill at 0:03.

I would be considering some gentle automation to bring your amazing vocals up at certain spots as well.

There...no more nits. 

[CaliaMoko]

I love, love, love this. The chorus is awesome. that frenetic feel in the "gotta run" lines is perfect! I'll let other people come up with nits; I'm too tired. I'm just going to enjoy the sound. I love it!

[LostBoy]

Its sooo good Karen....I love it. What a chorus!😁🎶👊🏻🎶👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
The music is great too, drums sound great except as others have said for the slightly loud symbols crashes. (That's a super quick fix though.👍🏻)

As for the lyrics...I might embarrass myself and guess horribly wrong here but....was the line...oh God! Here goes nothing..."gotta land right?" Eek...my thinking is that it sings great in that spot, BUT u have a "right" in the next line aswell...plus If I'm being really honest I'm just wondering if there could just be a better line there....its the "land" I guess...I just feel that the singer is so desperate to escape that she wouldn't care where she lands??

Anyway I hope that helps mate. I love your songs! We should collaborate!!😁🎶👍🏻🎶

[montydog]

Hi Karen,

Classy stuff indeed. Beautiful singing and a great, catchy chorus. The arrangement and production are top notch and the sound textures are perfect for the lyrical content. Such an easy song to like. Lovely job.
M

[Sebandme]

@MonnoDB that chorus is an absolute killer!! Great Backing vocals really sets the tone! Really good like really really good!

 

[adamfarr]

Great verses - definitely feeling a real frustration coming through, and in the middle8 again as well. And then the chorus is surprising in its lightness and hopeful melody.

If there was one thing that caught my ear as a distraction it was "You bolster me
Cos you believe in me" (too many me's and a bit too much telling not showing?!). Maybe another sense.based image or example of the bolstering would work well after "you see in me what I don't see".

But the whole thing is so great in its transmission of emotion and general presentation. Very cool and very topical (but not too much - this works even out of the current context).

[PeteS]

Hi Karen, 

As everyone has said it's another great song, the chorus really does stand out.  Lead vocals and BVs work really well.

As I've said before drums are my current nemesis (but more on that for future songs!) but the drums through the bulk are good, agree on the crashes but those at the start could be better. @PaulAds said you could bring them in at 0.03 I'd even suggest you could wait longer to 0.08, the piano is strong enough on it's own.

It's probably a bit bass heavy for me although might be my headphones though.

Like it!

[Jamie]

Hi Karen, what they said +1.Excellent song ,great chorus, I'm also not a fan of the cymbal 'crash'.
Great vocals! Love the voice singing in the background on a a different melody, nice touch,

Nice one!

Cheers
Jamie

[MonnoDB]

Thanks so much for every listen and every comment! Delighted it's being well received...


Firstly I'll get the drums thing out of the way.... That first 'crash' at about .46, I've struggled most with - I had already turned it up and down SO many times before I posted and knew it was too loud when I threw it up there (it actually sounded much gentler in Logic than it did on SC) but I couldn't take another second mixing at the time so figured I'd fix it later... So since then I put up 2 other mixes, both which received negative comments on the crash so I've replaced it with a wash ... which actually I think works much better and I've no idea why I didn't think of it before since I use washes later.. Anyway.. I'm hoping it works but I think for me it fits and I'm happy.. comments welcome though...

@Jamie thanks so much.. see above re crash... glad you liked that BV.. chuffed
@PeteS Drums above.. I pulled them back in the intro too... went with the earlier 0.03 in the end.. so thanks SO much for that sugg - works much better I think.. thanks a mill for your lovely comments.. I'm throwing it to the bass player (aka my other half :-)) to play around with it now - see what he comes up with... Much appreciated.
@adamfarr ... Soooooo... that line.. Yes I agree re the "me"s - in fact the words in front of me as I tracked had "Because you believe" rather than "Because you believe in me" for that very reason... But I kept singing the wrong line so I went with it in the end... I'm SO picky about lyrics but for some reason with this one I kinda went with what felt right a little more than usual.. I write lyrics REALLY quickly and then tweak right up to tracking.. not sure why I didn't keep going back to it.. I might have a relook at that line. Thanks as always for your considered review.. It is much appreciated.
@Sebandme  - thanks so much - that's such a lovely review.. chuffed!
@montydog - thanks so much Alan.. Delighted with that..
@LostBoy hey Leo! Thanks for the lovely comments.. Well.... re they lyrics.. That Run/jump/land line was the kernel of the whole song and I really like it and am happy with it - funny though as you question it I realise that the landing is not just physical it's also a statement of getting through this. That's what I love about people critiquing my lyrics... I find often times I don't quite understand what I mean by them until they're questioned and then I'm bleedin' sure! .. The line after I did rewrite a couple off times because of the right/alright - the most likely contender was "And then I know I'll be just fine" or "And then I know that I will be fine" but honestly, neither worked so I went back to what you hear and I was happy to live with the right/alright in the end.. compromises... Thanks so much for that - fab comments.. Oh and it was the last line of the first verse ..
@Unclenny - thanks so much.. See above re drums and I pulled back in the intro... works really well so thanks for that!!! Will have a look at the Vox too... in a while... Thanks so much for your great comments..
@CaliaMoko - THANK YOU!!
@PaulAds  - I thank you!!! Thanks for the comments on the drums - I. hope I've fixed the crash issue... I couldn't bring myself to muck with the drums any more though - I struggle with them big time and I've gotten to a place where I'm happy enough with them so am afraid to meddle more.. Maybe in time.. LOVE your description of the mood of it - the bars etc. Fab..
@pompeyjazz - chuffed at your fab comments.. Thanks so much!!

Again my thanks to you all.. Delighted to get such real and detailed critiques and suggestions.. The value of the feedback is enormous and very much appreciated..

K

[cowparsleyman]

@MonnoDB - Really like this, it's brave to open up re: MIDI, such a difference between the piano on this and the live recording of your own piano.

Can't add anything nor suggest any improvements, one thing I've been playing with on MIDI piano especially is velocity curves in the midi piano roll, kind of over emphasizing the touch to make it sound more human, the midi controller should pick these nuances up but I'm not convinced it as I play it.

Anyway, a lovely piece, and prod is fine too. Agree with the previous BV comments.

[MichaelA]

Hi Karen, I love your 1+1 ballads, but always wondered why you didn't make yourself get more accustomed to midi and production, as you obviously have the innate skill set to do it. I thought the extra instrumentation here was great. I particularly liked the subtle counter melody synth in the chorus. More of this please!

The verses do convey that imprisoned feeling with moodiness and then the chorus is a real contrast, as although it talks about an ambition to escape it sounds so joyous, it's as if this has already been achieved. The soaring 60s classic chorus melody and catchy melodic rhythm make it a real earworm, the sort of thing that hits are made of. Very poppy, yet there's that haunting BV out left that keeps the more darker mood going. You are very instinctively good at harnessing contrast in your work, and this song is a great example of that.

The line I thought you might not be too happy with - well you shouldn't have mentioned it, so I was bound to go looking  - was the one about walls crashing in. It is a great image, but done a bit too often at this point I'd say. But just a minor nit as it's a cracking little number in so many ways, so sorry to point out one minor personal thing.

Nice to finally meet you on the Zoom call too! 

[MonnoDB]

Hey @cowparsleyman  - thanks a mill for your comments re the acoustic vs midi - I knew that I was only going to do block chords on the piano on this so it didn't seem to merit rigging up the piano with mics and the rest... Yeah I know what you mean about midi-piano recording although I find actually sometimes that recording is too responsive so I'll end up paring back velocity etc on the midi tracks after the fact.. What I have discovered (very recently - so I haven't recorded a "proper" piano-midi track since) is that when I push the sound to a speaker (or wedge in my case) rather than just to the DAW, it allows me to "feel" the piano much more effectively.. no lag I guess... I'm just about to record a song with a prominent piano part.. I was intending to mic up the piano again but maybe I'll try midi.. interesting..

@MichaelA well... I have done more ambitious mixes before... but I find them draining.. Not so much this one so maybe I've turned a corner.. Thanks for the great comments.. Hmmm maybe I shouldn't've made that comment about the lyrics.. although on the upside, nobody has mentioned to line I was fretting over so maybe I have actually cracked it!! See what you mean about that line.. although I think it works so I'm willing to live with the cliché!! Nice to meet you too! Thanks a mill for the critical listen and great comments!!

K