make-believe-me

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rightly

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« on: May 02, 2020, 06:29:46 PM »
Oh I have been busy of late.

This is another old song of mine, new production
I changed the words a bit from the original

Feedback / critique welcome

Link:

https://soundcloud.com/rightly/make-believe-me?in=rightly/sets/f-l-o-o-d-l-i-g-h-t-s





Lyrics:

Make believe Me

tell me my thoughts
  where do I stand
what can you force
 into a trembling hand

which way is up
  what to believe
write me a book
on all that I'll need

put me in school
  turn out my lights
 until I only want to see
    whatever you like

give me the names
  n one of two sides
     tell me who's to blame 
  tell me who's to die

          Make believe be
    better to be fat than hungry

    look through my window
            too dirty to ask
         broken in the fold 
       fixed into the glass

      kneeling I'm straight
standing I'm crooked
    tell me I should wait
          one day I'll get lucky

          Make believe be
         better to be fat than hungry


____________

    Rightly
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #1 on: May 03, 2020, 09:39:53 AM »
@Rightly - Love your work, so unique, love this, it's engaging right from the beginning, some lovely synth work,  Can't help thinking BV's would add contrast and thicken up the Vox overall.

The drums could benefit from some kind of alternate pattern/fills near the end natural phrases.

Like you did on the Vocal near the end maybe mangle the drums a bit, either through an envelope follower, or a vocoder on a bus, so you can mix the amount you need, only ideas Rightly man.



Nice work, super cool.

rightly

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« Reply #2 on: May 03, 2020, 11:56:14 AM »
@Rightly - Love your work, so unique, love this, it's engaging right from the beginning, some lovely synth work,  Can't help thinking BV's would add contrast and thicken up the Vox overall.

The drums could benefit from some kind of alternate pattern/fills near the end natural phrases.

Like you did on the Vocal near the end maybe mangle the drums a bit, either through an envelope follower, or a vocoder on a bus, so you can mix the amount you need, only ideas Rightly man.



Nice work, super cool.

@cowparsleyman
Hi.

Yes I was too quick in posting this.
I was exhausted and high on that sax solo,
I had to go into another dimension to get it.
I've already made significant improvements
a voice cloner on the chorus voice, slight changes with the horn harmonies.

BVs I find hard to imagine if it's not another, a different voice.
 I'll look into it.

I went to the trouble of tweaking the voice in places with the standard Cubase version of auto tune.
Before singing I found the melody on the piano, then after examinationi found my voice rough in places but really not too bad.
I wanted to do something light and comedic to counter the harder material on the album,
so I'm really happy with the outcome here.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #3 on: May 03, 2020, 12:00:23 PM »
@Rightly - Love your work, so unique, love this, it's engaging right from the beginning, some lovely synth work,  Can't help thinking BV's would add contrast and thicken up the Vox overall.

The drums could benefit from some kind of alternate pattern/fills near the end natural phrases.

Like you did on the Vocal near the end maybe mangle the drums a bit, either through an envelope follower, or a vocoder on a bus, so you can mix the amount you need, only ideas Rightly man.



Nice work, super cool.

@cowparsleyman
Hi.

Yes I was too quick in posting this.
I was exhausted and high on that sax solo,
I had to go into another dimension to get it.
I've already made significant improvements
a voice cloner on the chorus voice, slight changes with the horn harmonies.

BVs I find hard to imagine if it's not another, a different voice.
 I'll look into it.

I went to the trouble of tweaking the voice in places with the standard Cubase version of auto tune.
Before singing I found the melody on the piano, then after examinationi found my voice rough in places but really not too bad.
I wanted to do something light and comedic to counter the harder material on the album,
so I'm really happy with the outcome here.

I noticed straight away your vocal tuning, a huge difference, good work Mr R

Paulski

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« Reply #4 on: May 03, 2020, 04:49:29 PM »
I noticed the genre you picked was Jazz/Blues - I afraid that's not correct - this is @Rightly genre at its best. ;D
Loved the quirky music and lyrics.
And your vocal brings it to life :D
Good work in my estimation :D

Paul

PS - perfect length - say what you want to say and get off the effin stage!

shadowfax

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« Reply #5 on: May 03, 2020, 05:01:30 PM »
This is actually pretty awesome!! 8) your an acquired taste but once it's acquired..Damn! good chorus which i think you could've used a bit more and fab groove goin on with the drums and bass..I agree with CPM that maybe towards the end they could be made a bit more interesting.. on the make believe bit you have what I thought was a female harmony but it turns out to be a sax (i think) so harmonies there would good 8)

great work... :)
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pompeyjazz

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« Reply #6 on: May 04, 2020, 09:50:34 AM »
Ever original, always different. It's great listening to your songs as you never know what to expect or in what direction you're going to go. Loving the instrumental choices here. It's got a real bohemian feel to it. Super vocals as well btw  :)

montydog

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« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2020, 02:12:40 PM »
Hi,
You are definitely on a roll ATM. I loved your last track and this one again hits the mark. So totally original (if a little reminiscent of Mr Ferry vocally!) especially in the instruments you've used. "It's better to be fat than hungry" is my favourite line - how re-assuring. One of the most unpredictable contributors to the forum but one of the most refreshing. Lovely.
M

Jamie

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« Reply #8 on: May 06, 2020, 10:39:46 AM »
@Rightly

Hi, I think this works for me because there's a bit of a familiar genre/feeling to the bass and rhythm but the sax and vocals are all over the place (in a good way!) Your stuff has always been interesting but lately your new found ability in the arrangement /choice of instruments etc has been excellent.

Nice one!

Cheers
Jamie

digger72

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« Reply #9 on: May 06, 2020, 02:49:04 PM »
Hi Rightly,

Wonderfully off the wall.

It's all rather infectious and a bit trippy.
Love the chorus.
Got the week off work and I must admit this makes me want to sit out in the sun and perhaps sample a beverage or two.  :D

Digger

Skub

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« Reply #10 on: May 06, 2020, 05:20:02 PM »
A breath of fresh air with eclectic lyrics. Top work man.

I wasn't keen on the drum pattern much,that aside it was your usual class of one!

GazOwen

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« Reply #11 on: May 07, 2020, 12:32:44 AM »
Like this tunes quirkiness, sounds like Talking Heads and reminds me of the live version of “Psycho Killer” where he just comes out with the ghetto blaster and plays.  Looking forward to hearing more stuff

G x
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MichaelA

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« Reply #12 on: May 07, 2020, 12:23:17 PM »
Hi @rightly, really enjoyed this. I like it that you have a lighter, quirkier side too. Well it's still a bit dark, but humorously so and a good contrast to some of your heavier mood stuff.

The chorus is completely crazy and that sax is wonderfully meandering and out of control, ha ha! You sing it like a theatrical actor doing a soliloquy on stage. Great stuff  ;)
My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

adamfarr

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« Reply #13 on: May 08, 2020, 12:01:50 PM »
Really like the melodiousness of this one, without losing any of your class. There's a lovely bit of funk and jazz. I thought the (hi-hat?) sounded a bit clicky which I didn't like so much.
 
Lots of drama and nice to hear some different stylings from you too.

rightly

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« Reply #14 on: May 08, 2020, 11:25:06 PM »
I noticed the genre you picked was Jazz/Blues - I afraid that's not correct - this is @Rightly genre at its best. ;D
Loved the quirky music and lyrics.
And your vocal brings it to life :D
Good work in my estimation :D

Paul

PS - perfect length - say what you want to say and get off the effin stage!


LOL. I admit genre choice is rarely easy.
Great you like the song

This perfect length idea you're on... It's not for me.
I think I know where you're coming from ahnnd no.
It's either this or that, then again it might be the other. 

I can promise you a future of slow decline.

Don't eat the yellow snow

And there you have it. 

https://soundcloud.com/2rightly

https://soundcloud.com/rightly