[rightly]

A recent write, the music essentially ready.
For me it's poppy but on my terms.
I'm getting a few songs together that I consider poppy.

Feedback welcome.


. . sweet oblivion


where's the line between self esteem
. . and hideous pride?
don't you fret tho' you've never seen
. . . any stranger times
'wouldn't turn around you have got this far
I wouldn't want to see you crash that car
wiser than yo'years y'have never been young
. . . in the arms of someone

you really are out and about
. . . . in the wilderness
where survival is hand to mouth
. . . are you up for this?
. . harder to follow than it is to lead
surrenderland will bite but has no teeth
. . reasonably plain you just don't belong
. . . in that sweet oblivion

keep your nerve on the rising curve
. . . ev'ry twist and turn
Stay in step the later it gets the more
you're sure to learn
I had to learn who my friends really were
Ignorance could not have been much worse
I'll have the last word be it right or wrong
in that sweet oblivion

[hardtwistmusic]

Highly interesting lyric.  Stands alone as a poem, but could definitely use music. That's pretty rare I think. 

The idea of a  'poppy' instrumental piece of music seems to be going against type, and clashing with the somewhat dark lyric.  That can be an inspired combination  --  or a disaster.  I'm looking forward to hearing this.  It has the potential to be incredible.

[rightly]

Highly interesting lyric.  Stands alone as a poem, but could definitely use music. That's pretty rare I think. 

The idea of a  'poppy' instrumental piece of music seems to be going against type, and clashing with the somewhat dark lyric.  That can be an inspired combination  --  or a disaster.  I'm looking forward to hearing this.  It has the potential to be incredible.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Ive often said that dark or clever lyrics don't need seriously sad music.
My favorite songs have good lyrics and the mix of the music is very diverse.
Bowie, n David Byrne saw through this about 50years ago.

All the best. R.

[CaliaMoko]

In my opinion, this is a very good lyric...but then yours generally (always?) are. On the first read through, I saw two places I would change. On the second time through, one of the clicked into place, but the other still jarred me a little. Third time, still the one. It's the phrase "you have got this far". I would have said "you've made it this far" or "you've gotten this far", but I suspect you have your specific reasons for what you have.

In case you're curious, the one that went away was:
Stay in step the later it gets the more
you're sure to learn

At first I read it as "Stay in step. The later it gets, the more. You're sure to learn." Second read, I understood it as "Stay in step. The later it gets, the more you're sure to learn."

I am looking forward to hearing this! I don't suppose you'd do a video? I really love watching you perform!

[rightly]

In my opinion, this is a very good lyric...but then yours generally (always?) are. On the first read through, I saw two places I would change. On the second time through, one of the clicked into place, but the other still jarred me a little. Third time, still the one. It's the phrase "you have got this far". I would have said "you've made it this far" or "you've gotten this far", but I suspect you have your specific reasons for what you have.

In case you're curious, the one that went away was:
Stay in step the later it gets the more
you're sure to learn

At first I read it as "Stay in step. The later it gets, the more. You're sure to learn." Second read, I understood it as "Stay in step. The later it gets, the more you're sure to learn."

I am looking forward to hearing this! I don't suppose you'd do a video? I really love watching you perform!

Hi @CaliaMoko

Thanks for your kind words.
Well I think my lyrics are always good.
There wouldn't be a point in writing bad lyrics.
I've got a huge batch of new songs, I have to wait to get clear financially before I
Make my soundcloud bigger.
I've been working on mixing the vocals again today. I'm a terrible mixer, but demanding too.
If I leave it too long it'll become a chore n maybe never get done.
I'm often surprised at what a bad singer I am. Lol. The voice in my head is just perfect.

I'll try to get this all done within a week. If I just focus on one song.