"We haven't seen us"

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Karin

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« on: March 10, 2020, 12:25:26 AM »
Hey there,


English isn't my first language so sometimes it's hard for me to say whether my lyrics are correct or not. I know there's no such thing as wrong in poetry and if it sounds good it is good but you know - people shouldn't facepalm when they hear my song, right? :)

So on my current song I use "us" in multiple occasions when it should probably be exchanged with "each other" - however, this would not fit into the rhythm at all. So I'm wondering if for example in the case of "We haven't seen us in a while", this is just uncommon or if it is flat out wrong and shouldn't be used even in a lyrical context.


I hope this is the right place for my question as I am new here.
Thank you very much :)


Best wishes,
Karin

Sterix

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« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2020, 07:16:45 PM »
Hi Karin.

I'll leave the whereabouts of the post to others. Possibly the Writing Process area would have been my bet.

With regards to your use of "us", I've (mis)used English in similar terms myself (one that springs to mind was "You Only Love You" when technically it should be "You Only Love Yourself" - but it fit the beat this way). There's no hard and fast rule I feel. 'We haven't seen "us" in a while' can sound okay, especially when it fits the rhythm.

Take solace in Shakespeare. When he wrote his plays he didn't give a damn about what was acceptable English or not. He changed it to suit his needs. Enough people seemed to understand what he was saying and there are about 1700 words now used in the English language that he invented to back that argument up.

If you're still unsure, post up your lyrics here and we can take a look with you.

Karin

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« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2020, 01:08:46 AM »
Hey, thanks for your reply :) I'm glad it should work out, since I'd have to re-write a bunch of lines if it didn't  :-X

Sterix

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« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2020, 06:49:30 PM »
My rule of thumb is - if you can still understand what it means, and it sounds good in your head, forget what other people may think and go with it.