Hey everybody,
Here's a rock track that I had composed a while ago but on which I reviewed a lot of things because there were a lot of problems.
I did everything myself in home studio with real instruments except the drums with AD2. I hesitated to post it in the finished songs because I don't see what I can do to improve it anymore, but I feel like something is missing, so I post it here
I would like an opinion on the whole but also on the pronunciation because I'm not English speaking : do people understand what I'm saying ? Don't be afraid to criticize because I know that this is not the work of the century and I'm only asking for progress.
Thank you all for listening and for your feedback
IS
https://soundcloud.com/user-24297189/all-his-blue-is-gone-demo"All his blue is gone"
Just a jerk on my way
I’m out of my mind
Just a step to decay
What’s the point to climb ?
Angels are gone away
That’s the curse I found
I wish it was Sunday
And it makes me feel down
I must stop thinking stupid things
Nobody’s bleeding on the floor below
I must stop saying stupid things
And let that shit go
What I have to do ? Tidy up my lands ?
What I have to do ? To tidy up ?
What I have to do ? To clean up my hands ?
That’s all I can do before I screwed up
Just a noise on my way
I think I heard a crime
Just myself is ok
Is this dust blind ?
Should I leave this way ?
There’s too mess in my mind
I’m not made for doomsday
Vanished in whiny wind
No one can protect anyone
I’d better not mess with Heisenberg
No one can tell where his Blue is gone
Let that shit go
What I have to do ? Tidy up my lands ?
What I have to do ? To tidy up ?
What I have to do ? To clean up my hands ?
That’s all I can do before I screwed up
Just a judge on my way
The jumble in my eyes
All my mind on display
Discolors my disguise
All that meth on my way
Can you see my crown ?
I’m the king of decay
Kiss me before I drown