[Inanité_sonore]

Hey everybody,

Here's a rock track that I had composed a while ago but on which I reviewed a lot of things because there were a lot of problems. 
I did everything myself in home studio with real instruments except the drums with AD2. I hesitated to post it in the finished songs because I don't see what I can do to improve it anymore, but I feel like something is missing, so I post it here 

I would like an opinion on the whole but also on the pronunciation because I'm not English speaking : do people understand what I'm saying ?  Don't be afraid to criticize because I know that this is not the work of the century and I'm only asking for progress.

Thank you all for listening and for your feedback 

IS

https://soundcloud.com/user-24297189/all-his-blue-is-gone-demo


"All his blue is gone"

Just a jerk on my way
I’m out of my mind
Just a step to decay
What’s the point to climb ?

Angels are gone away
That’s the curse I found
I wish it was Sunday
And it makes me feel down

I must stop thinking stupid things
Nobody’s bleeding on the floor below
I must stop saying stupid things
And let that shit go

What I have to do ? Tidy up my lands ?
What I have to do ? To tidy up ?
What I have to do ? To clean up my hands ?
That’s all I can do before I screwed up

Just a noise on my way
I think I heard a crime
Just myself is ok
Is this dust blind ?

Should I leave this way ?
There’s too mess in my mind
I’m not made for doomsday
Vanished in whiny wind

No one can protect anyone
I’d better not mess with Heisenberg
No one can tell where his Blue is gone
Let that shit go

What I have to do ? Tidy up my lands ?
What I have to do ? To tidy up ?
What I have to do ? To clean up my hands ?
That’s all I can do before I screwed up

Just a judge on my way
The jumble in my eyes
All my mind on display
Discolors my disguise

All that meth on my way
Can you see my crown ?
I’m the king of decay
Kiss me before I drown

[Grubstar]

Hi
I've have  listened to your song three times now and I have to say I really like it. Its got great energy and is very catchy, loved the guitars  and the vocal delivery is very original and sound great. The lyrics are good, I'm not sure what they all mean, I'm detecting a few Breaking Bad references, but I think the ambiguity adds to song. 1st Class effort.

[Inanité_sonore]

Hey,
Thank you for taking the time to listen carefully to the song and leaving a nice comment. I'm glad you like the song and that you appreciate the catchy aspect as well as the voice. You're right about Breaking Bad, this series inspired me (Heisenberg, blue meth), but the lyrics are enigmatic indeed because I like that each listener can imagine his own meaning.
Thanks again!

[5 guys named Lars]

Your vocals sound great @Inanité_sonore . No problems with the pronunciation. Most people can`t understand what the hell I`m talking about & I`m English. . I think you`re right about the enigmatic bit & sometimes the sound of the word fits better than the meaning. Great job.

[alcapone_dudu]

Great song! For me you've managed to mix together Husker Du+The Clash+Bad Religion.

Particularly I did not miss a thing. I think your song is ready to go after a professional mixing and production.

Very well done!

[pompeyjazz]

I loved this one @Inanité_sonore Fabulous vocals delivered with great passion. Guitar cuts through like a knife and gets right in yer earplugs. Liked the harmony vocal stuff at the end in particular. Maybe a little more bass in the mix but apart from that brilliant man. Great to see you on Freezic as well  Qualite !

[Melusine2]

The more I listen, the more I like
Great voice style
J'aurais même vu un pont de guitare bien gras ^^ (add a guitare break with deep sound?)

[Inanité_sonore]

@5 guys named Lars
Thank you for your very positive comment on my voice !

  Most people can`t understand what the hell I`m talking about & I`m English.

! I'm not worried about my pronunciation anymore, thanks 

[Inanité_sonore]

@alcapone_dudu :
Thank you for that comment and those flattering comparisons  I love The Clash and I also like the other gorupes you quote.
Well, then I'm sending it all to the prod  !

[Inanité_sonore]

@ pompeyjazz :
Thank you very much for that praise John !
I'm glad you're sensitive to the passion I'm trying to put into my music 

Yeah, you're right, I need to put the bass more forward, you're not the only one who told me that.

See you soon on Freezic, man 

[Inanité_sonore]

Thank you @Melusine2 ! The more you listen to it... like a good French wine that improves with time, I like it  Figure-toi qu’il y avait un pont à l’origine avec un solo pourri et j’ai tout viré. Ça doit manquer un peu…
See you 

[shadowfax]

Fab riff...I reckon if Nirvana had released this they'd improve their fan base...for this genre I think it's fine and dandy my friend..you've got it just right
better and cleaner production might just spoil it...

[Niels]

hey,

I've listened to your song and I really like it.
The guitars sound awesome and the refrain is really catchy.
I can picture myself going crazy and dancing all night long on this song .
speaking as a fellow non-english native speaker: I think your pronunciation is great. You don't mispronounce words and you sang really clearly.

I don't know why but I think a string arrangement would go really well with this song. Certainly in the part after the refrain.

Well done

[adamwolf]

First of all that electric guitar is amazing!! The riff is really cool and all round I'm a bit envious actually. The lyrics are really well written. As for the accent, it adds character and makes it unique to be honest, the times I couldn't understand I just looked at the lyrics and it was fine, I mean who even understands half the rock singers without lyrics any way :'D Big fan of the last chorus when it goes higher. Great job man!

[Inanité_sonore]

@shadowfax :Thank you very much for your very encouraging opinion  I loved your comparison with Nirvana and her fans, it's brilliant, man  I totally agree, if I produce a little bit more it will be with a raw sound, that's what I'm looking for.