konalavadome

Quarter to Midnight

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digger72

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« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2020, 11:29:43 AM »
Hi Neil,

This sounds great.
One of your best vocals I think - big and bold.

The playing and production is really good.
Guitar work is top notch and throws in some tasty licks.

Loving the harmonica.

Digger

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #16 on: January 15, 2020, 10:26:21 PM »
Well, I missed this (yeah, I know...I've missed a lot of them, but it looks everybody missed this one...) one. I'm going to comment as I listen, to save time and hope I don't get interrupted, because I get interrupted a lot and then I lose my train of thought.

Okay, comments:

1. I love the bluesy shuffle/swing feel to this. I'm partial to this type of music, so that's not surprising.

2. The second line in your printed lyric says, "The blackest white man I knew," but you sing, "The blackest white man that I knew." I always like to remove the word "that" whenever possible and I think it would be very effective if you held the word "man" with a little emphasis here, and leave out "that".

3. Interestingly, your lyric, a little later, says, "That old Mac had died", but you sing "Old Mac had died". I think the way you sing it works much better than trying to fit in that "that". :D

4. You also replaced one of three (count'em...three repetitions of "that" in "Not that that it mattered that much," with "it"...a good choice, in my opinion. In fact, you could even get rid of the last "that", maybe replace it with "too". Just a thought.

5. I suggest using "a", as you've written, instead of "his", when he loses a/his finger. Now, I realize no one will be confused by it as it is, AND I'm much too unnecessarily strict, but "his finger" sort of implies he only has one finger to lose.  :P ::)

6. Prosody: The money flowing like wine line. I think you could keep your intention and improve the rhythm of the syllables if you sang, "Money flows like fine French wine." It's still in present tense; a bit of a different feel, so maybe you won't like it, but the flow of the line would be better. In my opinion, of course.

That's all my criticisms. I really like the song, nice swingy rhythm and catchy. And I apparently didn't totally miss it earlier, because I recognized it as soon as I started listening and I see I already marked it "Like" on SoundCloud....  Just didn't get any further at the time.

Vicki

Yodasdad

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« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2020, 11:03:44 AM »
Awesomely authentic blues, really well put together.

Some incredibly proficient playing and the harmonica was sublime.

Enjoyed the Hammond style organ poking through towards the end.

This all fits together spot on for me.

Yodasdad

PaulAds

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« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2020, 09:55:12 PM »
Great sounds and super playing.

Loved the lyrics...you're tip top in that department too.

Super stuff, Neil!
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter