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That Won't do.

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Wicked Deeds

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« on: December 30, 2019, 03:51:58 PM »
I hope everyone has enjoyed a wonderful Christmas.  I thought I'd post my last offering for 2019.  It's another guitar vocal song that is finished.  I really don' think there's any need for further production.  This one communicates my main approach to songwritingn; that a song can stand up alone based on a few chords, melody and lyrics.  It was written towards the end of the summer and conveys my thoughts bout the difficulty of entering the dating scene in middle age. I felt that I had to jump through so many hoops and complete tick boxes before I was regarded as a suitable suitor.  It was a time of doubting and reminding myself of who I really am.  I hope that I score extra points for including the word "hullabaloo' in a song.  Anyway, It made me smile :-)

https://soundcloud.com/pvasey1/that-wont-do

That Won't do

I would say you should fall for the guy dressed in blue.
He would cradle your heart, no hullabaloo.
He would send you the world in a beautiful phrase
but these days, that won't do.

I could tell you his love would make fireworks fly,
that he'd capture the stars in the blink of an eye.
He would settle the seas, call your name on the breeze
but these days, that won't do.

He waits for you to show your feelings.
His heart's still reeling,
his heart is blue.
He checks his compass for his bearing,
once so daring, once so true.

I could say you should fall,
I could pray that you'll swoon.
I could hang all my hopes on the chin of the moon
but these days, that won't do.

I wait for you to show your feelings.
His heart's still reeling,
It's black and blue.blue.
i check my compass for my bearing,
once so daring, once so true
but these days that won't do.

Written by Paul Vasey Late Summer 2019

He waits for you to show your feelings.
His heart's still reeling,
his heart is blue.
He checks his compass for his bearing,
once so daring, once so true.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2019, 04:19:22 AM by Wicked Deeds »

David Christy Jones

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« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2019, 03:57:40 AM »
A lovely sentiment to this song, and really honest and genuine too.
I love the chord choices and use of what may be considered to be "jazz phrasings".
It's also a beautiful recording. I like how you have left the 'breathy' feel to the vocals. Kinda feels like we're sitting in a little room while you perform this for us. Not at all over or under produced. Just right!

Excellent work! :)
Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is the best!

shadowfax

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« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2019, 07:06:50 PM »
Nice song creating a nice comfy mood 8) like your guitar sound but feel it was overshadowed a bit by the vocal being mixed a bit loud..the guitar sort of disappeared when you started singing which was a pity when it sounded so good.. :)

Have a good new year my friend :)
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #3 on: January 01, 2020, 10:52:36 AM »
@Wicked Deeds - Happy new year - man oh man Paul, I felt myself reaching for the brushes, and the shaker.

Very nice indeed, you're completely right about it holding up on it's own.

What axe and mic did you use?

Best of luck playing the dating game, if you play this to your date you can't go wrong, you'll find someone I'm sure.





pnb99

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« Reply #4 on: January 01, 2020, 01:26:06 PM »
Hi,

I’ve listened to the song 3-4 times.

I love the wistful nature of this song…both the melody and the chord structures.

The guitar sounds great and supports the vocal melody really well.

I thought the lyrics were always interesting particularly stand out lines like “hang all my hopes on the chin on off the moon” :-)

The hook is strong and provides a perfect refrain as we re-enter the next verse.

I know this probably sounds weird, and indeed, depending on your point of view it could be positive or negative but, this song (the structure and the characteristics of the melody), and your voice, really reminded me of some of the old “B sides” by the Pet Shop Boys! (It is intended as a compliment).

One suggestion, and I hope I’m ok saying this….

As I said, I really like your voice. However, in this song, you tend to hold the lowest notes quite long, and your voice loses some control on those long notes. It’s quite a minor observation but, if you sing them slightly more staccato by cutting the first syllable a little shorter it might be a little easier. eg. For “Cradle” sing “Cray-dull” rather than “craaaaaydle”, and for Hullabaloo sing “Hull-abaloo” rather than Huuuuulabaloo”.

Feel free to ignore though, it really is minor…its just what hit my ears.

Thanks for the song. I really enjoyed it.

All the best,

Paul

Yodasdad

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« Reply #5 on: January 02, 2020, 04:41:39 PM »
Middle age dating - not a position I’m in but I’ve watched a few you tube vids recently which poke fun at tinder conversations and I was shocked at how blunt and to the point people seem to be. Must be a whole different world to what you remember, and that’s what I kind of took from your lyrics at the start.

Nice idea for a song. Personally I’d have liked a change of gear at some point or a more distinct chorus, but that’s just me.  Don’t think there’s anything I could actually fault with it.

Good luck finding Mrs (or Mr) Deeds

Yodasdad

Wicked Deeds

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« Reply #6 on: January 12, 2020, 05:09:49 PM »
@David Christy Jones

Thank you for listening and for taking time to post a response.  I often think that I will forget ho to play the song s that's I write since I no longer perform live.  I'm a little lazy writing down chord charts etc and so I make a quick sketch on my DAW when I find a spare moment. I do think  this one is finished and so won't labour over the production further.  It isn't quite intimate and I think it conveys my thoughts fairly accurately.

Thanks

Cow parsley man,

I used a Freshman FA500 GACED and picked into a Rhode NT1000.

By the way, I did meet someone very special. My beautiful French girlfriend and I have since written several beautiful songs that have quite clearly melted her heart.  Everything is very rosy in the Wicked Deeds garden! 😀

@Shadowfax, thank you my friend. A very happy new year to you too.

@pnb99, the 'chin of the moon is one of my favourite lyrics too. My voice is often compared to Neil Tenant's but Ai don't really like his vocal style.  I guess I'm not that fond of my own voice either. I should open up a little more as I occasionally do.  I love the writing experience but I'm not too crazy about performing and producing though, I believe I am fairly competent at both.  I was always a songwriter first and foremost and I know I always will be.

@Yodasdad,  thanks for listening my friend. Online dating is awful. Someone once told me that it was like stepping into a shark pool.  They're probably fairly accurate but it did lead me to my wonderful partner.

Thanks
Paul


Cawproductions

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« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2020, 07:10:12 PM »
Hi paul,

really nice intimate vocal on this, Nice acoustic work too.

IMHO I would have liked to have heard the guitar a little more so the vocals sit back in the mix a bit. But hey that just my crazy ears.

Really nice track
Great work

montydog

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« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2020, 03:03:38 PM »
Hi Paul,

So pleased that the dating thing has worked out - how could she resist a song as lovely as this :D A gentle, tender and thoughtful song pleasingly free of cliche. The use of "Swoon" - was that a deliberate nod to your hero?
You've kept the musical setting low key and free from much variation which I think works because of the strength of the material and the subtlety of your vocal.

Magic

M

Jamie

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« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2020, 06:13:07 PM »
Hi Paul, a beautiful and delicate song and performance. Love the chords, there are some v nice transitions in there. Vocal performance totally suited the song.
Nice One!


Cheers
Jamie

digger72

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« Reply #10 on: January 25, 2020, 05:22:33 PM »
Hi Paul,

Guitar sounding lovely. Agree that for me it could be a tad louder against your vocal.

Delicate is the way to describe this for sure.

Works well with your vocals.

All the best on the new life adventure.

Digger

PaulAds

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« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2020, 09:42:00 PM »
Classy as ever...lovely plucking and super vocal.

I can't review songs...I can only try to say how much I admire ones like this.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter