[Thepurplezone]

So, my ex keeps trying to get my videos taken down.

I wrote an EP and I've started posting it on YouTube and SoundCloud. I shared it on Facebook. He's blocked but we went to the same school so a lot of mutual friends.

Anyway, he keeps getting my videos restricted and finding boys from our year to send it to. It's really unsettling because this EP is quite personal and I didn't expect to have this much to deal with less than a week into starting this.

So genuinely, any listens or feedback would be heavily appreciated. Turn restricted mode off on YouTube to have access to all the videos.

Souncloud: https: https://soundcloud.com/natasha_ali/tell-me-it-gets-better
YouTube: https:

&t=34s

LYRICS
Go to bed, in that bed
Secret stains remain unsaid
No explanation why all my lovers want me dead

Drinking ban, tally kept
Of days without dopamine hits
So fucking bored there must be more to life than this

Oh tell me it gets better
Tell me it gets better
Feeling well under the weather and I've severed all my tethers
That's been holding me together
Tell me it gets better than this
Tell me it gets better than this

Try again, cos lonely's hard
Never happens, never starts
Never know why they grow cold and fold their cards

Spiral down whirlpool drains
Screw mistakes who lie in vain
Learn to smile though you feel vile and near insane

Tell me it gets better
I swear that I'll be better
Yeah, I'll keep it all together if you tell me it gets better
Sick of writing unsent letters
Tell me it gets better than this
Tell me it gets better than this

Tell me it gets better
Tell me it gets better
Feeling well under the weather and I've severed all my tethers
That's been holding me together
Tell me it gets better than this
Tell me it gets better than this

Tell me it gets better than this
Tell me it gets better than this

Cheers,
Natasha

[CaliaMoko]

I like this. All the surprising little internal rhymes in the lines (see what I did there??? ) you have sprinkled a bit randomly throughout the song, like biting into bits of jelly in a cake that I didn't know were there. Your delivery suits the subject matter perfectly. You sound desperate, ready to break out into tears.

I've read all your posts so far and it sounds like this is a good place for you. I have found most of the members of this forum to be very friendly and supportive. I hope you find it so as well.

Vicki

[Thepurplezone]

Thank you so much!

[Grubstar]

Hi Natasha

I really enjoyed your song and thought your lyrics were well constructed and  accomplished; very impressive. Don't worry it will get better.

[Thepurplezone]

Thank you. Me too 

[PaulyX]

Hey Natasha, welcome to the forum, I hope you get what you are looking for here, it's a cool place.  I liked your track - good vocal delivery, with plenty of emotion but it doesn't sound contrived.  I works well went you go up in range for the "oooos" too.  I also liked the way the lyrics go 'double time' in the choruses compared to the verses, that's very effective.  Lyrics strong, if you want feedback to polish them it's just the third line "Secret stains remain unsaid" felt like it needs rewording to me - can you "say" a stain?  Bit clunky... what about "Secret stains remain covered" or "Secret words remain unsaid"?  Good song to show up with.

[Inanité_sonore]

Hi,

I love this melody and the way you deliver your emotion. It's touching and sincere. The bare track (guitar/voice) allows us to appreciate the essence of the thing. This minimalism suits you, it's very successful.

Keep going !

[pnb99]

Hi,

Listened to this 3-4 times.

This is brilliant.  Just brilliant.

From the very first sigh to the very last chord.

The lyrics are just fantastic. Very clever, well thought out and yet absolutely natural.

The chorus provides the ear worm that you need to reward you for the intent listening required in the verses.

The chorus is something I can imagine people singing along to at a festival.

It deserves to be recorded “properly” so that we can hear the vocal more prominently, and with a little less hiss/noise but, I wouldn’t add or take away anything. I wouldn’t add extra instruments or even reverb on the vocal.

The way you’ve performed this has an intimacy that can’t be manufactured in a studio.

And finally, without wishing to sound facile; “Yes, it can get better than this”.

Best wishes

Paul

[Wicked Deeds]

This song immediately transports me to the set of 'Into the Wild.'  Musically I'm thinking of the soundtrack to the film of the same name with the beautiful simple/effective acoustic guitar.  There's so much charm and and alsohurting here.  Your voice sounds lovely, especially on the higher notes suggesting there is much more to your range and style of writing that is first evident.

I really enjoyed listening.

Thanks for sharing.

Paul