She is Hope

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Skub

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« Reply #15 on: December 12, 2019, 10:22:14 PM »
Yo Allan,it's cool to see you back posting and writing.  :)

This is a lovely piece,heartfelt and thus real.

The sparse arrangement works well because the song and the delivery are strong.

Thanks for sharing man.  8)

Bostonfan2

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« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2019, 10:49:11 PM »
Very sweet song! nicely done !

David Christy Jones

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« Reply #17 on: December 14, 2019, 02:17:43 AM »
Real honest feel to this; there's no question that those lyrics are deeply personal to you. Honestly, that kind of emotional honesty can't be forged or feigned. People try, but it just never quite hits the mark the same way. But you definitely hit home with it, and let us into a little window of your life. In a way, that to me is the real goal of good songwriting - to allow somebody in and see and feel what you do.

Goal achieved.
Information is not knowledge.
Knowledge is not wisdom.
Wisdom is not truth.
Truth is not beauty.
Beauty is not love.
Love is not music.
Music is the best!

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #18 on: December 14, 2019, 11:38:27 AM »
@seriousfun - Lovely to hear from you, 'pretty face arrived in the morn' love that line....Superb work man...lovely production.

Hope it won't be so long until the next song.

digger72

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« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2019, 11:41:09 AM »
Hi Allan,

Seems we're all finding our mojo - or at least trying. Welcome back.

Agree the arrangement is more than enough in its current form - doesn't need loads more instrumentation throwing at it.
Simple, loving message delivered in the perfect way.

Digger

pnb99

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« Reply #20 on: January 01, 2020, 03:27:08 PM »
Hi,

I listened to this song 3-4 times.

What a wonderful gift for your grand-daughter to cherish for ever.

It’s a simple, heartfelt and sincere song, well played and well sung. I thought it was beautiful.

One observation for you;

The clarity of the vocals could probably be improved slightly. Either in the recording process, or by clearer annunciation of the words. For example; in the first chorus, I genuinely initially thought I heard you sing “she’s jewish, she is whole” rather than “she’s cherished, she is hope”.

However, that is just a recording, performance issue and it doesn’t detract from it being a wonderful song, and a wonderful gift.

I wish you and your family a wonderful Hope filled 2020!

Thank you for sharing your music with me.

All the best.

Paul.

Yodasdad

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« Reply #21 on: January 02, 2020, 10:52:50 AM »
Hey Allan,

I’ve been rather elusive on here myself recently but good to see you back and creating again, I did wonder where you’d disappeared to.

I too became a grandad last year so congratulations from one guy who feels old before his time to probably another. Wouldn’t change it though.

It’s never easy to critique a song that’s as personal as this one, it’s special no matter what.

For me personally when you sang ‘soap’, I pictured a bar of soap and thought, hmm, that’s not very soft. I’m sure you probably meant the lather or bubbles or something like that though, and other people will get other images .

If it were me, I might use something like ‘snow’. It’s not me though and I’m not suggesting you change it, just trying to point out something useful.

Hope to hear more from you.

Yodasdad

Jambrains

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« Reply #22 on: January 03, 2020, 01:18:12 PM »
Allan, long time no see, good to have you back & congrats!
Great song! I agree what has been said re the vocals, they are a little "dull" and I'd back off the reverb a bit to get a more intimate feel but that is technicalities of course. The arrangement/format works well but I must say I miss the fab guitar work I remember hearing from you in the past.

/J

montydog

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« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2020, 03:10:56 PM »
Hey Allan - great to see you back. Great way to break the song writing drought. I liked the rhyming of "soft as soap" with "hope" - conjours up a lovely image. Your vocal for 95% of the time is gorgeous but it does just go off tune every now and then but not enough to be a major problem. I liked the piano part - perfectly judged and overall a very lovely song which you will be able to sing to your grand daughter when she's old enough to understand what a clever granddad she has.

M