Don't Be Long

  • 10 Replies
  • 833 Views

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« on: December 08, 2019, 04:54:00 PM »
I really wanted to write something about the awful murder of Ana Kriegel...I heard about it recently on the radio. The two boys were just 13 when she was killed. It's heartbreaking stuff.

Her Dads last words to her were "OK...don't be long" and she replied "No...I won't be long"

https://www.independent.ie/irish-news/courts/i-wont-be-long-ana-kriegels-last-words-to-father-murder-trial-hears-38071216.html

https://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/ana-kriegel-verdict-the-evidence-the-jury-did-not-hear-931435.html


Don’t Be Long

Natural selection
And all those other scams
For the survival of the cruellest
And the silencing of lambs

Ice in their hearts 
Fire in their eyes
Iron in their nostrils
Their claws in the prize

Don’t be long...

They throw us to the lions
And all roads lead to Rome
When we're done with trying 
Then they send us home

The unspoken truth
You're too scared to say
On your streets in your town
Where your monsters play

The sugar rush of poison
Is coursing through their veins
The purest human dna
Is found in our remains

We die for their right 
to make everything wrong
Cos this world is theirs
And we don't belong 

We Don’t Belong


heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

MonnoDB

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1265
    • Soundcloud Profile
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2019, 08:38:47 PM »
Hey @PaulAds - well I'm unfortunately very familiar with this horrific story - it's was very prominently reported at the time of the murder and through the trial and the boys were sentenced only a short while ago. I have a daughter the same age - it's shocking to say the least, in fact it's impossible to find words to describe it. I think you've done really well with your lyric - great words as always - representing the key elements of it from the evil and what I perceived on first reading / hearing as her lack of feeling she belonged as central to it - I’m fairly sure you meant something different with that lyric but that's what I took from it probably as it was such a poignant part of the whole thing.

Bravo, sir! Even aside from the theme and words I loved the melody, arrangement and just about everything about it. Lovely to hear a song from you again - I hope you're fully mended, your song would suggest so.

Thank you for writing this.

K

shadowfax

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3178
  • Singer songwriter
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2019, 01:33:40 PM »
Difficult..nay, impossible subject to work with, but you've done it....so so well!...

no doubt the little ba&^&ds will be out with a new identity when they are 25....I'm thinking wall>bullet..same for the serial rapist that was just caught, oops!, he was let out by accident...great system we have, serves the criminals very well it does!!!
Soundcloud Shadowfax6

from the nightmare!

Jamie

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3144
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2019, 03:00:59 PM »
Hi Paul, hope you are well sir!

Difficult subject to deal with for sure, but you've made a good job of it. I wasn't aware of this story, terrible I have a daughter of that age too! Putting aside the negative subject a very well constructed and performed song. Loved the guitar solo in particular. Another excellent PaulAds production!
Cheers
Jamie

adamfarr

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3166
    • SongEspresso
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2019, 04:25:03 PM »
Wow, powerful stuff. Especially that last verse and the payoff line. Cases like this always bring out those calling for less freedom in the name of more safety but where will that take us? I'm not sure things are worse or better than at any other time, though these days it does seem hard to "belong" with a lot of judgment if you don't...

I like the sombre, matter of fact delivery, quite "chilly" in its production. You seem to have a knack of not only finding these stories from the edge but then also making them into something unique and thought-provoking. Good on you.

PaulyX

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1796
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2019, 11:23:06 PM »
Hey Paul, I didn't know anything about her story, how very sad.  I liked the song a lot... the mood of it has no suggestion that it is about something so awful unless you listen closely to the lyrics.  I almost wish it wasn't to be honest, as the vibe of the track makes me feel happy and positive, and I feel a bit conflicted about feeling that and enjoying it so much now I know what it's about... does that make sense?  Maybe that's often the power of music though... these contrary feelings it can bring up.  It'd be a boring musical universe if all the dark songs had minor keys and all the major key stuff was about puppies and rainbows I guess.  Anyway those conflicted feelings aside it's a really clever piece, great cryptic lyrics as usual and first class, balanced production.
It's all too beautiful.

atreu73

  • *
  • Busker
  • *
  • Posts: 26
« Reply #6 on: December 10, 2019, 08:36:26 AM »
Hi Paul. Your music is a bit upbeat considering the source material. The lyrics are pretty straightforward and your performance adequate. I totally sympathize with the "sheep amongst wolves" sentiment.
   

MichaelA

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 1499
    • Sixth Beatle - a music themed novel by Michael A (not much about  The Beatles!)
« Reply #7 on: December 10, 2019, 11:44:52 AM »
Hi Paul, what a tragic story, of which I wasn't aware - and you have been careful to let your song skirt around the specific episode enough that it works as a wider commentary too. There's some clever lyrics in there and good use of lyrical rhythm to emphasise key lines. So you have treated a potentially delicate subject with some sensitivity, so well done on that score.

It seems a bit trite to say so, but nice restrained guitar solo, and the second vocal over the simple chorus melody at the end particularly worked for me.

My latest novel: pls check it out!

‘Gavin & The Bodysnatchers’, a quirky comedy crime thriller. Easily found on Amazon.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B09GZ7C8M7?ref_=pe_3052080_397514860

pompeyjazz

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 5668
  • pompeyjazz
« Reply #8 on: December 10, 2019, 06:06:32 PM »
A tragic story indeed. This works so well as it is somewhat understated and the haunting "Don't be long" call seems to get stuck in your head. Well written lyrics as usual and nice use of dynamics. Another top notch song Mr Ads  :)

cowparsleyman

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 2700
  • What would you rather be or a wasp?
« Reply #9 on: December 14, 2019, 10:41:51 AM »
@PaulAds - I was a little surprised at this one, I read the article and was totally immersed in the sadness of the situation,utterly terrible, I too have a daughter. I read your lyrics and thought how powerful they were, then I played the track and I didn't see the MOR choice of song genre coming, I thought it would be single piano, or acoustic guitar, something that allowed the lyrics and the gravity of the words to be centre stage. (I could imagine it to be the slow one at Glastobury that makes the crowd cry, lights down etc. etc.).

That being said the song is well delivered and produced, not nits at all, and very grateful you brought this story to light.

The other thing was that I honestly thought you brought in pompeyjazz in for the Lead Vocal line, you do sound remarkably similar.

I hope you don't mind, it's just how it came over to me, and of course each to their own...


PaulAds

  • *
  • Stadium Tour
  • *****
  • Posts: 3477
  • Haemorrhaging Enthusiasm
« Reply #10 on: December 14, 2019, 02:52:02 PM »
Ta, everyone.

Yeah...an awful story...it genuinely could happen anywhere. Ana was terribly bullied at school...it reminded me of my schooldays...although I wasn't bullied or ever really trifled with...but kids used to have fights arranged by the bus stop...and there’d be crowds jostling to get a good view of someone getting kicked to within an inch of their lives...I would never watch, I’d just quietly sit on the bus...there would be maybe three or four of us...but I remember looking at the faces of all the others getting on the bus when it was all over. Some of what appeared to be the nicest, kindest, softest people...wide-eyed with excitement, enjoying it every bit as much - if not more - than your common/garden brutish moron.

That’s the way the world is...and has always been...as far as I can see it. I don’t feel like it needs signposting or over-dramatising. It’s just how it is and there’s basically nothing I can do about it...except try to make a tune people might like and tell them a story they might not like.

So I just fancied sugar coating the cyanide pill on this occasion, I suppose. The great thing about being nobody and having no real ambition is that I can just please myself what I do...I can mix jaunty tunes with grim lyrics and not have a chorus or whatever...and it doesn’t matter...as long as the lovely people on here are willing to tolerate my indulgences...because we’re the only ones who ever hear what I do.

Pleased the production was ok...it was all done in GarageBand...I recently threw a hissy fit at my third-party plug-ins once I’d done a clean installation of Mac OS Catalina...and thought I’d see how I’d get on without them...so I never bothered to install any of them...so there were only stock plugins used.

Thanks again...and sorry for rambling.


Any comparison or association with my friend @pompeyjazz is guaranteed to make my day.

heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter