[OBreezy185]

I'm looking for feedback on this first couple of verses from my song called "Don't Care" and It's inspired by various RnB songs as that the genre that literally all of my music is based on.

I’m broken, your heartless
When I’m open, you ain’t honest
I remembered, you’d forgotten
Lately it been hitting me the hardest, ever since you departed
Cuz I still think of you regardless
But look how far you’ve made me fallen, this boy has hit rock bottom
Now that you’ve stop calling and I hate myself that you’ve been ignoring
Got me thinking that I was the problem

[hardtwistmusic]

I like the lyric a lot.  As I read it, I was drawn to a certain flow with the lyrics.  The flow was very similar to "I Think I Love You" by the Partridge Family from the early seventies.  To be clear, I'm not suggesting that the lyric or song is similar. . . just that the uptempo, staccato cadence of that song would work well with your lyric.  Hope that helps.