Hi guys i'm looking for some critique on this new song of mine. I wrote the music last week and finished the lyrics a couple of days ago. It's a first demo so work needs to be done on phrasing and the production isn't top notch. Please let me know what you think to the lyrics and the song itself and any advice and suggestions would be really appreciated.
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME
CAN’T YOU SEE I’VE GOT NO MONEY
HOW CAN IT CATCH UP WITH ME
DON’T YOU KNOW I’M STILL RUNNING
FROM EVERYTHING I DID I SAID
WHEN I’M IN YOUR ARMS AND BED
AWAY FROM THIS MIND SOMETIMES
FROM THE THINGS I LEFT BEHIND
MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE SAID
WE WOULD STILL BE FRIENDS
COS WE WON’T
HAVE THIS MOMENT AGAIN
AND WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
THAT REFUSAL COULD OFFEND
COS WE WON’T
HAVE THIS MOMENT AGAIN
I CAN FEEL THE PRESSURE BUILDING
THE WEATHER IS ABOUT TO SET IN
IT’S COLD ALONE WITH NO SOUL
IT’S TIME TO LET YOU GO OH
AND I’M UP HERE THE ONE AND ONLY
YOU KNOW I CAN’T EVER FEEL LONELY
BUT YOU’RE NOT HERE BY MY SIDE
NOWHERE TO RUN NO PLACE TO HIDE
