[Andreas]

Since it has been the World Mental Health Week, this week, I have been using it to open up about my mental health struggles. Mostly through music and social media. I have been struggling with both depression and anxiety for many years, and have been having panic attacks too. The past few years I have been doing good, and haven't been affected that much by my mental health struggles as before. Until recently when I was sitting in my car outside my gym, I started sweating, shaking and my heartbeat was raising and it felt like I couldn't breathe. I was about to have my first panic attack in roughly 2,5 years, but I managed to cool off and relax. That's when this song came to life. I wanted to create a more vulnerable feeling than ever before and write about how it feels from my point of view to be struggling, and how I feel I'm locked in a box and have to fake a smile and put on an act that I'm doing fine when I'm not. I have been fighting for a while to get more awareness of mental health, and hopefully, I can do so by telling my story through my music!

Fake Smile

You don’t see if there’s something wrong
Saturday night I’m the one sitting all alone
I always play it cool say I’m doing alright
While everyone’s out leaving me behind

I’ve been hurting, and nobody sees that it’s all just an act for the gallery
I’ve been trying, to be only me and not someone I’m not proud to be
And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not

I have been left with scars that you don’t see
I’ve been depressed and left with my anxiety
Since I smile I’m told I can’t be a mess
Born to be a man I’m taught to feel less

I’ll stay strong, I promise I’ll get by, but the pain has taken over my life
I know it’s wrong, to keep it all inside when there’s no place I can hide
And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not

I won’t cry for help
I won’t cry for help
I can’t save someone else
Before I save myself

And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not

©Luke Armstrong - 10/10-19

[Wicked Deeds]

Hello @LukeArmstrongMusic,

This is a well written song.  We are living through ever changing times and often feel the pressure of trying to fit in and make meaningful connections with others. I think writing is such a wonderful way to explore who we are and how we fit into the world. It can help us to accept who we are, including understand our finer and not so finer qualities , leading to change.  I've spent my whole life writing music and lyrics, expressing my feelings at every opportunity and I often wonder how difficult  life might have been without this skill.  Writing can be wonderfully therapeutic.

These are a fine set of lyrics my friend. Try to use your writing to be as creative as possible. I often try to write about beautiful topics and explore the finer, most honourable thoughts that occupy my mind. It's almost like painting a picture of a better, more beautiful world. It's always rewarding and an escape from the mundane. Writing helps us to declutter, perhaps find a degree of serinity that would otherwise be difficult to achieve.

Paul

[Andreas]

@Wicked Deeds

Thank you so much, my friend! Often I try to write about my own experiences, or things that happen to someone close to me, or the things I observe. Often, it tends to become love-songs, but lately, mental health has been a big burden in my life, with myself and someone close to me. Music has been savior a lot of times, and I am so thankful for the skillset given me, to write down my feelings and express myself in the music I make

[rightly]

That's s good write.
Mental health, invisible afflictions...
These have often been themes I write about.
Better out than in n all that.

Stay strong.