[Modestmouse1965/]

https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/fear

A little song about the fear forced on us by the powers that be.

I realize the repeated riff in this song becomes a bit annoying. This will be adapted/re-written in the Re-record.

Fear

1

You've got curses on you faces
Colour in your eyes
You've Shown yourself
We don't belong
We're Killers in your mind

2

You cover me with silence
With beliefs so old
You said yourself
We don't belong
You think you've saved your soul

pre

If your coming to steal me
They'll never believe me
If your coming to get me
You don't know what you'll find
If your coming to change me
Already made up my mind
If your coming to kill me
Your wasting your time
Wasting your time

ch

All you know
Is i'm a face in the crowd
Thinking out loud
Whenever i can
Whenever you judge me
I act (x2)

3

You blindfold the innocents
With one thing on your mind
Push the fear
Make it clear
We'll be left behind

4

You ride this road for centuries
With everything so clear
You give your life
Blood on knife
No-one seems to hear

pre

If your coming to steal me
They'll never believe me
If your coming to get me
You don't know what you'll find
If your coming to change me
Already made up my mind
If your coming to kill me
Your wasting your time
Wasting your time

ch

All you know
Is i'm a face in the crowd
Thinking out loud
Whenever i can
Whenever you judge me
I act (x2)

[Paulski]

Well I liked that riff - it has so much energy it propels the song forward.
Lots to like here - great vox, nice arrangement (though could use a haircut in length)
Lyrics are good too - lots of imperfect rhymes - nice!
No complaints from me, well except for length but ignore that comment at your pleasure
I'm always whining about song length.
More s'il vous plaît 
Paul

[Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra]

I think the verse riff is very good actually so hope you don't change that too much. It gives the song a strong identity....something which is great when you come back to it from the chorus....which is what we're looking for, isn't it?

The pre and the chorus are fine too though they don't grab me yet as much as that main backbone riff.

I think the main thing to concentrate on when you do rerecord is some way of injecting something more into the other parts of the song. Hey, I've only listened twice and what do I know. But you do say you're going to redo it so I feel better about saying it needs more.

The main body of the song/sound is very appealing though so I'm sure you're going to end up with something worthwhile.

[Skub]

Yo Stevy.

I like this a lot. There's a very strong Marc Bolan vibe especially in the vocals.

The track works well for me as it is,but it's good enough to try a few tweaks here and there. Leaving off the riff to give a little down time would create a bigger impact on return. Dynamics doncha know! It already works where you do this. There's great drive here and worth exploiting to the full.

Much enjoyed. 

[pompeyjazz]

Hi Stevy, I really enjoyed this track, firstly as it's got loads of balls a d attitude and secondly I can hear that you've put everything into it. My critique would be nothing to do with what you've done musically  but more on the production side which doesn't really matter as this is a songwriters forum. I think that lots of the individual parts are a bit maxed out so there is no breathing space
I'm very guilty of that myself  Would love to do a remix for you if you're into that. PM me if that sounds interesting 😀

[redrhodie]

Really cool song. Love the guitar riff, and scary, paranoid lyrics. Mix sounded good to me. Vocals are great. Maybe they should be a little louder? I'd like to hear the lyrics more, but not lose the energy created by the guitar.

[MonnoDB]

I also love the riff!! Wouldn't be stripping out too much of that! And the lyrics.. nice and dark - love them! Agree the vox could come up a bit in the mix. And they are fab - lovely attitude. Catchy as hell this - I really really like it!

[Jamie]

Hi MM, enjoyed this, the vocals didn't sound like but reminded of the singing/talking style of Josh Homme, which is a goooood thing! Loved the vocals and the guitar riffs. As others have hinted it could do with a bit of light and shade/dynamics/change of instrumentation or pace, take your pick.A good song, but could be better imho! But as I've said before, what do i know?
Nice one!
Cheers
Jamie

[PaulyX]

Hi, very good track.  I'm a bit different to the other reviews so far in that I loved the pre-chorus and chorus most (just a great jangly, spacious  feel to them with nice hooky leaps in the vocal melodies, and the drums kicking off...) but actually wasn't quite as keen on the verse riff - maybe as others have said it just needs bit of space around it.  Definitely a super song lurking here though, great vocals and very much my cup of tea.  Not sure why but it put me in mind of The Damned a bit.

[Modestmouse1965/]

Paulski - Thanks for that and you are right about the length which will be addressed with the re-record.

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra - Thanks and will take on board what you say about injecting something more into the other parts of the song during the re-record.

Skub - Cheers and like the Marc Bolan Ref. Leaving off the riff to give a little down time is my thought also as its too predictable to repeat constantly. I have an idea to change it slightly in one part to give it some extra candy.

pompeyjazz - Pmd you and appreciate your thoughts and offer.

redrhodie - Thanks for that and can see where you come from with the vox so hopefully will stand out more during the re-record.

MonnoDB - Glad you liked it my friend and hopefully even more when redone.

Jamie - Thanks and will take on board your thoughts on dynamics. Never heard of Josh Homme but will check out.

PaulyX - Cheers and understand where you come from about space. Thanks for The Damned ref. I have seen them live a few times and maybe they are an unconscious influence.

[Sebandme]

Wham bam thankyou mam.....man that was pushing all the way through.....the guitar part is good very catchy. Well done.
Pre chrous could be shorter my only critique

[adamwolf]

I really like this a lot! I like the riff, and the groove in general.
I do feel like you should do something to change it up a little, I don't know how to explain it without sounding like I don't already like it a lot, but I mean make the verses a bit shorter and add a bridge, or tweak the pre chorus and chorus to make them sound more distinct. What I'm trying to say is this is awesome as it is but it would improve massively with just a little spice.
Generally though it's intimidating coming across a song this good on the forum so I'm just speaking from a listeners perspective.  

[cowparsleyman]

I dig this one tons, maybe bring up the vox...superb job