Good evening everyone!
I have been struggling with anxiety for as long as I remember. Since I was 8 and in 3rd grade, I think. It has been part of my life, and then the depression and panic attacks came when I got a little older. I just put on a fake smile and acted happy, cause that's what boys did, and it was, and still is so tabu for boys and men to talk about their struggles. This song came to life after I almost had my first panic attack in roughly 2,5 years. This is, by far, the most vulnerable I have been in my music, and more is to come, cause after this I had an idea. An idea to start up a community for people struggling with mental health, but also for those who know someone who is, where they can talk with someone who has been through the same things, and in time I hope to create houses as a meeting-point around the world, where they can meet likeminded people and meet new friends. Also, I have been planning about starting a collaboration project with other artists, who have been struggling or know someone who is, where the profit of my share goes to this project. My hope is that I can help someone with the pain they are bearing.
Anyway, here is the song. I made it as a private track, cause my plan is to not release it until later. But, I want you guys to hear it as it is now, how I wrote it. Might add some piano or strings or maybe both, to add some flavor to it, so any feedback is much appreciated!
Have a good evening and take care of each other!
https://soundcloud.com/lukearmstrongmusic/fake-smile/s-Xn9SqFake SmileYou don’t see if there’s something wrong
Saturday night I’m the one sitting all alone
I always play it cool say I’m doing alright
While everyone’s out leaving me behind
I’ve been hurting, and nobody sees that it’s all just an act for the gallery
I’ve been trying, to be only me and not someone I’m not proud to be
And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not
I have been left with scars that you don’t see
I’ve been depressed and left with my anxiety
Since I smile I’m told I can’t be a mess
Born to be a man I’m taught to feel less
I’ll stay strong, I promise I’ll get by, but the pain has taken over my life
I know it’s wrong, to keep it all inside when there’s no place I can hide
And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not
I won’t cry for help
I won’t cry for help
I can’t save someone else
Before I save myself
And I-I-I-I just gonna put on a fake smile
And I-I-I-I just gonna act like I’m doing fine
But I’m not
