Delicious Grace - Desperate

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alcapone_dudu

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« on: September 21, 2019, 02:08:01 PM »
Hello everybody. We've got a new song out called ''Desperate''. We tried to give an 80's feel to it, acoustic ballad type of thing. Hope you guys enjoy it.



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My previous songs:
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=13844.0
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=15865.0
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=16127.0
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=16328.0
http://www.songwriterforum.co.uk/index.php?topic=16605.0

alcapone_dudu

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« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2019, 02:10:15 PM »
Lyrics: Desperate
 
You don’t want to talk about it
It’s getting harder to make things work out
We’ve got to find a way now!

Sometimes we lost count of all the things that matter
And we left behind
‘Cause it’s true, it’s true...

Don’t know what to say or feel
How did we make this situation so unreal?
Let’s turn the page right now!

Are you feeling lonely tonight?
What you decided?
Did make up your mind?
‘Cause it’s true, it’s true...

chorus:
Baby please don’t walk away
I’m standing my ground, Why don’t you come inside?
Hey pretty baby don’t walk away
‘Cause it’s true, what I say it’s true!

I feel so desperate
Love and hate becomo one thing inside
What are you gonna do now?

One thing I forgot to ask
How long the pain you think is gonna last?
‘Cause it’s true, it’s true...

chorus:
Baby please don’t walk away
I’m standing my ground, Why don’t you come inside?
Hey pretty baby don’t walk away
‘Cause it’s true, what I say it’s true!

Felixthekiwi

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« Reply #2 on: September 30, 2019, 04:04:38 AM »
Hey!
Thanks for sharing your track.
I like the vibe, kinda reminds me of Silverchair.
Are you looking for any feedback in particular?
I don't know where you're at with this track, and what its purpose is, but if you'd like to hear the things that stuck out to me, read on!

The guitar sounded a little out of tune at first, but as the song progressed I grew to appreciate that as part of the overall vibe.
I would wind back the reverb on the vocals a lil bit, and if you don't already have one get a pop shield! The plosive sounds are popping pretty strongly. A pop shield, and maybe adding a bit of distance between you and the mic should deal to that.
I guess its mainly production things that stuck out to me, again I don't know where you're at with the track so all of what I said might be totally irrelevant! haha
I enjoyed the guitar solo, however I felt some of the note choices during the ad libs between the vocals in the final chorus clashed a little bit with the melody/harmony, and while that's not a bad thing..for me it took me away from the feeling of resolve/finality that I felt the chorus wanted to have

Overall I enjoyed the song, it felt really laid back, like something you'd hear blasting out of someones stereo at a BBQ in summer.

Hope some or any of that helps, and if not, thanks for sharing and reading anywhere!


alcapone_dudu

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« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2019, 08:39:14 PM »
Thank you Felix for giving it a try. It means a lot.

Yes, the production is very amateur, let me put this way. We're struggling with it very often. I guess is just lack of knowledge really. We appreciate more making songs and playing. I say we because Delicious is a duo thing.

We've got a lot more on the way. Hope you give us another try.

RealKevM

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« Reply #4 on: October 11, 2019, 09:57:41 PM »
The vocals could be clearer they sound pretty muffled saying that the tone and delivery are decent. The guitar sounds a bit tinny too i'd like to hear it a bit thicker but hey these are recording issues and it's a work in progress. The song is pretty great.

alcapone_dudu

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« Reply #5 on: November 18, 2019, 06:54:29 PM »
The vocals could be clearer they sound pretty muffled saying that the tone and delivery are decent. The guitar sounds a bit tinny too i'd like to hear it a bit thicker but hey these are recording issues and it's a work in progress. The song is pretty great.

Thank you, RealKev. We bought a new recording device so we're hoping the production will aprove considerably.