konalavadome

Constellation

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Neil C

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« on: September 19, 2019, 11:46:29 AM »
Hi Campers,

Here's a romantic tune I came up with earlier this year. Done fairly simply and slightly rough around the edges - I should redo the vocals. But I'd be interested to see what you think about the song itself as well as arrangement and production etc.

:-)
neil

https://soundcloud.com/neilconnor-2/constellation-mix-20-jan-2019

Looking up, feet firmly on the ground
I see Interstellar glories
Ancient cosmic stories
I see darkness and I see light
On a cold December night

I see hope, the past unravelled
I see horizons, I see shadows
I see celestial alliances
Stars to give me guidance

I see it in the sky
Its flowing through my blood
Its everything I’ve understood
Its written in the stars
And written in my heart
You’re my Constellation

c N Connor 2019
songwriter of no repute..

Jamie

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« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2019, 03:50:44 PM »
hi Neil, backing took me back to early James Taylor and the drum sounds were very nice too. I thought the little instrumental part coming up to 1.50 was a little 'bare', maybe could have introduced something extra there(banjo, harmonica?). The rhyming of alliance and guidance didn't work for me, not sure why, I would have worked in silence instead of guidance maybe :P. lovely guitar outro. Nice melody, i'd put in a few more harmonies and maybe some backing vocals too.
Nice mellow song
Nice one Cheers
Jamie

pompeyjazz

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« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2019, 06:21:13 PM »
Lovely feel to this Neil - Reminded me of James Taylor as well. The acoustic and drum sounds are fab. I think maybe a bit of Harmonica round 1:40 ?? Love the ba ba ba's and the solo following that. It's a fine piece of work Neil and I'd be inclined to not mess with it too much as it's good as it is. Nice work  :)

LostBoy

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« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2019, 07:41:25 PM »
Ha!! I have this exact same title/lyrical concept in my lyric book waiting to see the light of day (weirdly ironic choice of phrase there Leo!😆) I shall have to bin it now Neil as I'm sure you're the sort who would sue me for every "literal penny" I would make!!!🤣😝
Anyway...I think this is a lovely song. Great lyrics (although I did think the last two lines of the verse were squeezed in a bit "alliances and guidance" .

The music is very nice as always. Good stuff mate!🎶👊🏻🎶🙋🏼‍♂️

PaulyX

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« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2019, 09:28:21 PM »
Hey Neil, this has a lovely homespun, honest, simple feel to it  I think that would be broken if you added too much to it.  It has a kind of wide eyed, innocent wonder to the lyrics in particular and I think the simplicity of most of the production underlines that.  Heartwarming track.
It's all too beautiful.

Skub

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« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2019, 10:15:32 PM »
A sweet,stripped back song which stands on it's own two feet very well thank you!

The mystical lyrics contrast nicely with the bare charm of the track.

An endearing piece Neil.  8)

PaulAds

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« Reply #6 on: September 22, 2019, 10:31:57 PM »
Lovely, sweet and gentle feel here, Neil.

Great head-bobbing way to finish this wine and, almost, my weekend.
heart of stone, feet of clay, knob of butter

Neil C

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« Reply #7 on: October 03, 2019, 04:56:27 PM »

Jamie, thanks for commenting - I agree it could be enhanced with bv's and harmonies

Pompey - ok I won't mess with it too much - thanks

LostBoy 'who would sue me for every "literal penny' You've got me down to a tee...

PaulyX, innocent and simple seems to have to worked :-)

Skub, thanks delighted you liked it and the point about the contrast

PaulAds, cheers, literally for the wine - red or white?
songwriter of no repute..