Songwriter Forum > Feedback on Finished songs

Fear

(1/3) > >>

Modestmouse1965/:
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/fear

A little song about the fear forced on us by the powers that be.

I realize the repeated riff in this song becomes a bit annoying. This will be adapted/re-written in the Re-record.

Fear

1

You've got curses on you faces
Colour in your eyes
You've Shown yourself
We don't belong
We're Killers in your mind

2

You cover me with silence
With beliefs so old
You said yourself
We don't belong
You think you've saved your soul

pre

If your coming to steal me
They'll never believe me
If your coming to get me
You don't know what you'll find
If your coming to change me
Already made up my mind
If your coming to kill me
Your wasting your time
Wasting your time

ch

All you know
Is i'm a face in the crowd
Thinking out loud
Whenever i can
Whenever you judge me
I act (x2)

3

You blindfold the innocents
With one thing on your mind
Push the fear
Make it clear
We'll be left behind

4

You ride this road for centuries
With everything so clear
You give your life
Blood on knife
No-one seems to hear

pre

If your coming to steal me
They'll never believe me
If your coming to get me
You don't know what you'll find
If your coming to change me
Already made up my mind
If your coming to kill me
Your wasting your time
Wasting your time

ch

All you know
Is i'm a face in the crowd
Thinking out loud
Whenever i can
Whenever you judge me
I act (x2)

Paulski:
Well I liked that riff - it has so much energy it propels the song forward.
Lots to like here - great vox, nice arrangement (though could use a haircut in length)
Lyrics are good too - lots of imperfect rhymes - nice!
No complaints from me, well except for length but ignore that comment at your pleasure :)
I'm always whining about song length.
More s'il vous plaĆ®t  ;D
Paul

Viscount Cramer & His Orchestra:
I think the verse riff is very good actually so hope you don't change that too much. It gives the song a strong identity....something which is great when you come back to it from the chorus....which is what we're looking for, isn't it?

The pre and the chorus are fine too though they don't grab me yet as much as that main backbone riff.

I think the main thing to concentrate on when you do rerecord is some way of injecting something more into the other parts of the song. Hey, I've only listened twice and what do I know. But you do say you're going to redo it so I feel better about saying it needs more.

The main body of the song/sound is very appealing though so I'm sure you're going to end up with something worthwhile.

Skub:
Yo Stevy.

I like this a lot. There's a very strong Marc Bolan vibe especially in the vocals.

The track works well for me as it is,but it's good enough to try a few tweaks here and there. Leaving off the riff to give a little down time would create a bigger impact on return. Dynamics doncha know! It already works where you do this. There's great drive here and worth exploiting to the full.

Much enjoyed.  8)

pompeyjazz:
Hi Stevy, I really enjoyed this track, firstly as it's got loads of balls a d attitude and secondly I can hear that you've put everything into it. My critique would be nothing to do with what you've done musically  but more on the production side which doesn't really matter as this is a songwriters forum. I think that lots of the individual parts are a bit maxed out so there is no breathing space
I'm very guilty of that myself  8) Would love to do a remix for you if you're into that. PM me if that sounds interesting 😀

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version