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Shine On Me

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Jambrains:
What? Another ballad? From Jambrains? What is the world coming to? I have no idea...
@MonnoDB (as always) helped me navigate the intricate maze know to man as English :-)


https://soundcloud.com/jambrains/shine-on-me

You know you stole my heart
And without you, how can I start
To build a life with somebody new
When all I ever wanted was you

You know I worshipped you, body and soul
But I couldn’t stem the flow
Of the poison that coursed through your veins
As it beat you again and again

Your love would shine on me
And lead me through the darkness
Your love would shine on me
Make a path for me to walk
Your love would shine on me
You’d be my beacon in the distance
Your love would shine on me
And guide me home

I curse the morning sun
As it steals its way into my room
To bring me one more bloody day
Of crushing pain I cannot push away

Your love would shine on me
And lead me through the darkness
Your love would shine on me
Make a path for me to walk
Your love would shine on me
You’d be my beacon in the distance
Your love would shine on me
And guide me home

You acted always without fear
You were my sword
You were my shield
So who will fight
for me now
Who’ll tell me when
Who’ll show me how?

Your love would shine on me
And lead me through the darkness
Your love would shine on me
Make a path for me to walk
Your love would shine on me
You’d be my beacon in the distance
Your love would shine on me
And guide me home

LostBoy:
Jam! You’ve been listening to too much bloody Roxette again eh?!🤣

 I like this a lot, my only suggestion might be...in the chorus, to change EVERY OTHER “your love would shine on me” to “yeah,you would shine on me” just to change it up a little...I know it’s the same syllable count either way, but imho, it would just “sing” nicer that way on those second bits where the phrasing\meter is slightly different.

I hope that helps you soppy bastard!!😂🤣😘

Neil C:
Indeed what's going on?
Anyway tasteful tune and arrangements which contrast with your-lived in vocals.
Interesting chord changes in the verse, however the chorus is the star. Its simple, catchy as hell. I could hear that on the radio.
Just hoping for a soaring guitar solo on that at the outro? But no!!
Still enjoyable 4 minutes.
 :)
Neil

Skub:
Ah Shane Magowan turns up again,all sober/cleaned up and half respectable.  ;D

A lovely rock ballad Johan. I dig your chilled period. It's a song performed by a man comfortable in his own musical skin.

Karen did a great job helping with the lyrics,it all fits together sweetly.

Jambrains:
@lostboys: I am Roxette, I've just never told anyone!  :) Thanks for the input, I'd doubt I'll change it but I do see the point you are making. Made in a later revision...
And re "soppy bastard": I've worked with the master himself  ;)
@Neil C : thanks for taking the time, much appreciated. Re the solo, I did try but I could not get it right (and I've done it a number of times before) so I decided to let it be for the time being, maybe later....

@Skub: Grma! Yeah, Shane is ever present is some way it seems  :)And I'd still be lost in the maze had if I did now have Karen to lead me through it, I owe her big time and not just for this one.

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