I'll get by -- old new lyric. REDONE

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hardtwistmusic

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« on: August 08, 2019, 06:48:05 PM »
Took two old songs that never quite clicked, and combined them. 

"I'll Get By"

BRIDGE IN:   
Don’t apologize for leaving.    –   Just tell me goodbye. 
Don’t attempt an explanation.  –   It won’t matter why. 
Don’t insult me with your pity.   –   Baby, I’ll get by.   ….   I’ll get by.    I’ll get by.

VERSE: 
You asked me to tell you    –  I’d be alright if you left me now. 
You knew you were asking me to lie. 
I don’t want to be a burden, so I won’t try to change your mind. 
Go on walk out baby   –  I’ll get by.

CHORUS:   
Someday I will wonder,    why  (aye aye  aye.)   And I’m sure there will be some days when I cry. 
But you just walk on out that door, and don’t think twice about me. 
Don’t feel sorry for me. . . I’ll get by.  I’ll get by.   I’ll get by. 
Baby, Baby, Baby, I’ll get by.   –  I’ll get by.   –   Baby, Baby, Baby, I’ll get by.
 
Should I have tried to tell you  --  that I would die if you left me know. 
We both know that would never have changed your mind. 
No matter how you hurt me babe, I can’t treat you unkind.   
So, I’ll just keep pretending    –    I’ll get by.   

CHORUS:   
Someday I will wonder,    why  (aye aye  aye.)   And I’m sure there will be some days when I cry. 
But you just walk on out that door, and don’t think twice about me. 
Don’t feel sorry for me.  I’ll get by.  I’ll get by.   I’ll get by. 
Baby, Baby, Baby, I’ll get by.   –  I’ll get by.     –   Baby, Baby, Baby, I’ll get by.
 
BRIDGE TO OUT. 
You promised me sweet fairy tales.  Your fairy tales were lies. 
Reality rose up and smacked me right between the eyes.                   
When my whole world came crashing down, shoulda come as no surprise. 
But I got by, I got by, I got by.

I’ll just keep pretending I got by.  I got by.   Baby, Baby, Baby, I’ll get by.
« Last Edit: October 07, 2019, 07:24:35 PM by hardtwistmusic »
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Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #1 on: August 10, 2019, 09:20:29 PM »
I made a lot of changes to this after posting, so I'm bumping it to the top.  Please don't feel any obligation to post a response.  I'm not desperate for responses.  That isn't why I bumped it. 
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Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

Paulski

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« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2019, 06:12:13 PM »
Hi Verlon

This has a lot of pathos in it - and makes us really feel for the guy.
I think the more times he says "I'll get by" the less we believe it  ;D
I think it needs more storyline though - the verses are pretty close to the same message the chorus has.
Maybe the story could be something like:
Quote
We moved out to the prairies to feel the country sky
That quaint Montana farmhouse seemed
Just right for you and I
But ... blah blah things went off the rails etc.  ;D

It's a good hook - just needs more flesh on the bones IMHO.
Paul

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #3 on: August 22, 2019, 05:15:11 AM »
Hi Verlon

This has a lot of pathos in it - and makes us really feel for the guy.
I think the more times he says "I'll get by" the less we believe it  ;D
I think it needs more storyline though - the verses are pretty close to the same message the chorus has.

It's a good hook - just needs more flesh on the bones IMHO.
Paul

I knew (intellectually) that you were right when I first read your review.  But It took a week of "acceptance time" before I knew emotionally that you were right. 

I completely abandoned the third verse completely.  It was tacked on and redundant. 

I then wrote a new "bridge to out" to add a new element to the song instead of "more of the same." 

Thank you for what turned out to be extremely relevant and helpful feedback. 
www.reverbnation.com/hardtwistmusicsongwriter

Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.

LukeArmstrongMusic

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« Reply #4 on: August 22, 2019, 03:19:20 PM »
I can really feel the pain for the guy and been through it myself a couple of times. And two songs that don't click, can often become one good song :)
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

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hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #5 on: October 07, 2019, 07:24:07 PM »
Revamped the song.  Shortened and simplified if anyone would like another look. 
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Verlon Gates  -  60 plus years old.