BOUNCING BACK

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indigobluehorizons

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« on: August 03, 2019, 03:58:58 PM »
In the zone, don’t hear the phone
Lying prone, like a drone
Dog without a bone
Moss without a stone
How can the brass band perform if there’s no trombone?

On the floor, by the door
Thinking more, feeling poor
Apple without a core
Lion without a roar
Who stands to gain if the guide misses the tour?

But when things can’t get any worse
And with that lost map and empty purse
I won’t be taken away in a hearse
Won’t crumble won’t crack
I’ll bounce back, I’ll bounce back

In a haze, in a daze
In a maze, a faraway place
Clown without a face
Time without a space
What use is a calendar without some of its days?

In a rut, keeping it shut
Empty gut, can’t hide the cut
Shell without a nut
Cliff without a jut
Would a chimney be complete without a congregation of soot?

But I won’t collapse as dusk approaches
No time to lose it as darkness encroaches
Like an army of invincible cockroaches
Won’t crumble won’t crack
I’ll bounce back, I’ll bounce back

Daylight calls, negativity crawls
Sunlight falls over the walls
Markets with stalls
Playgrounds with balls
Equilibrium restored, all is one, one is all
Positivity manifests, passed all the tests
No time to rest, progression is best
Eggs with a nest
Pirate with a chest
It’s all good, I’ll never veer from this crest

Brighter than a beacon as the good times roll
Proprietor of a place of peace and soul
Tighter than the efforts to fill the ozone hole
Better cut me some slack
I’ve bounced back, I’ve bounced back.


CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2019, 09:35:54 PM »
Rap? Lots of nice tight rhyming going on. I don't really have any comments to make, but I had fun reading the lyric and getting into the rhythm of it.

Vicki

Younger Hills

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« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2019, 01:42:00 PM »
You got a lot of good, tight rhyme-patterns, and there's a clear beat to the lyrics. My first impression is that this is a rap-song, much like Stormzy, Lil Nas X and Young Thug. If not, I'm really intrigued. Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing the finished product! :) 
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

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indigobluehorizons

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« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2019, 07:17:49 PM »
Thanks both for the feedback :) To be honest I didn't have rap in mind when I wrote it, as it's not a genre of music I typically enjoy. I'm more of an indie and rock kind of guy. But perhaps given the structure of the verses, it just presents itself as a better fit for a rap song. Maybe it could cross the threshold of both rock and rap and be akin to something like a Red Hot Chili Peppers song? They are up there with my favourite bands. Cheers folks : )  More on the way...

Younger Hills

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« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2019, 07:25:22 PM »
@indigobluehorizons, I can see some Red Hot Chili Peppers in it yeah. Do you have any particular sound in mind for the song?
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

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HappyDays

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« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2019, 09:45:32 AM »
This song is kind of in the vein of an Eminem-esque feel. The structure that has the rhymes are really close together like:

Lying prone, like a drone
Dog without a bone
Moss without a stone


If you're going for more rap-esque kind of rhythm, then maybe an Eminem kind of rapping will work. If you want to put more of an indie kind of feel, Alphabetic Aerobics would be great inspiration. It's what I'd maybe call indie-rap. It's unconventional to mainstream rap.

I can also hear it in more heavy metal if you think about it, or anything in that vein.

Anyways, this'll be great when it'll be made!

indigobluehorizons

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« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2019, 06:48:22 PM »
Happy Days and Younger Hills, cheers : )