konalavadome

Myself (Demo)

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RealKevM

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« on: August 01, 2019, 09:54:56 AM »
Hello here's another new one, I wrote it yesterday and have just recorded an acoustic demo. I'd love some feedback on the song please, maybe some help with the phrasing in the chorus?v Oh and there's a little surprise for anyone who listens to the end ;)

Lyrics

Floating round on the breeze
That is my mind
Climbing trees just to see
Exactly is my crime
I've never been this hungry
All I want it what's mine
Cos i'm free to believe
I ain't run out of time

Chorus
I'll wait
Oh I'll wait
I'll just wait
For myself

2nd verse

Look into your northern eyes
What will I see
That ain't blue they ain't green
That's alright with me
Take my hand take my heart
Take what you need
Leave behind just enough
For me to breathe


Younger Hills

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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2019, 02:52:32 PM »
Hey @RealKevM :) You are faithful to your style, and I like that! Both lyrically and performance-wise you are improving with each song you write. For me, you keep the high in the verses and then slow down in the chorus, so maybe a more melodic chorus, to just keep the high or even raise the bar in the chorus would be at its place.

Looking forward to hearing the finished version! :)

Cheers
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

https://soundcloud.com/lukearmstrongmusic

RealKevM

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« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2019, 03:10:01 PM »
Cheers mate, yeah the chorus needs a little work for sure thanks for the guidance :)
Th

Younger Hills

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« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2019, 03:47:22 PM »
@RealKevM I forgot to say, that I like how you think with the chorus. With the use of repeating, is a chorus after my taste :)
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

https://soundcloud.com/lukearmstrongmusic

RealKevM

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« Reply #4 on: August 01, 2019, 05:19:36 PM »
I'm thinking of keeping the 'Wait' as the first part and maybe using 'Help' for the second part so it goes 'i'll just help myself'

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #5 on: August 10, 2019, 09:33:24 AM »
Hi @RealKevM - Nice to hear from you again, sounding much improved kev, I dig the pushed Vox, and the picked/strummed  contrast between Chorus and Verse. Maybe have just a single strum instead of picking, would give a bit of space...one doesn't always have to fill all that lovely space. One famous conducter once said that music is all about the spaces, not so much the notes....

Good work kev, what's that slapping noise near the end?


RealKevM

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« Reply #6 on: August 13, 2019, 08:48:50 PM »
I'll try that out man thank you.
That funny noise near the end is handclaps lol

Modestmouse1965/

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« Reply #7 on: Today at 12:41:54 AM »
Would love to hear a full band playing this. I can hear drums bursting in and harmony vocals on the repeat choruses. will keep listening with interest as this song progresses. Cheers.

looking for feedback on this demo also cheers
https://soundcloud.com/user-335183051/enemy
« Last Edit: Today at 12:43:44 AM by Modestmouse1965/ »