Time to go

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t.wretborn

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« on: July 31, 2019, 07:25:30 PM »
Hello!

I have been working on this song from now and then for a few months. Never had time until now to really sit down and finish it. My Plan when starting working on it was to do something simple to have as a practice track for mixing and mastering. Buuuut i got carried away and ended up with this monster of a song that was too complicated for me to handle during mixing and mastering. Im happy with the song arrangement but not so pleased with the sound. Got some phasing going on that i didnt manage to solve and its a little muddy. My brain didn't want to listen to it anymore so i decided that this will do for now.
Anyway! What is good? What is bad? Thankful for any kind of feedback.

https://soundcloud.com/user-652929989/time-to-go

Little one, how have you been my clever one
I am not sure where I will be when you see this
Things have changed and this place is not the same

Everyone, yes everyone who is heading down
They’ve got their heads full of false face dreams
Fighting desperately only to become
Like everyone

Walk the streets of Hollywood
Or play the games in the city made of gold
They swear you will never see things like you did before

Without a sound, yet steady catching  up from behind
Suddenly they stand at every corner of these streets
Watching in silence as smoke begins to rise
And stick to the walls

After flying high and low
I can not believe how this world can be so small
I swear I’ll never see things like I did before

I walked off fast, I did not look back
Thinking ”Now this is it”, ”This is where it starts”     

You know that place where I said goodbye
If it still exist can you meet me there?

I know there’s a lot you might want to say
And I know its though to pass the shame

I ask for a chance to an open heart
But if you don’t want me there I understand

I will not see the sun rise on this side again
For as long as I’m here it won’t come back

They will probably miss me and miss my smile   
But I’ve made things clear I leave alone and they will stay 
 
Oh It feels like Im falling through thick clouds 
Don’t know where I’ll land, what I’ll discover

Im leaving it all now, I need this so bad
This might be my last chance to start over

It feels like Im falling through thick clouds 
Don’t know where I’ll land, what I’ll discover
 
But if they come to my dreams, comes back for my heart
I know there’s a place where i could leave them
« Last Edit: August 01, 2019, 11:27:33 AM by t.wretborn »

jacksimmons

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« Reply #1 on: August 01, 2019, 01:43:56 PM »
Hi! Even though this is a folky, stripped-down song with a traditional structure you have managed to create a sound that is quite unique. You have a unique vocal sound - is this the phasing you were referring to in your intro? If so, I think it is positive not a negative.

Your arrangements are subtle and pretty. Especially the guitar work. I think it works really well and you've created a very ominous feel. When the drums come in at 2:50 they were welcome. Perfect timing.  Solo at the halfway point is quite cool, too. It's understated and proggy at the same time.

Overall, I think your vocals and instrumentation and the structure of this are very tasteful. If you are struggling with this track and find yourself returning again and again and tweaking I would say stop. You seem to have arrived at something very cool. This was a very short 8 minutes.




Bostonfan2

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« Reply #2 on: August 01, 2019, 02:18:51 PM »
Very cool! Unique atmosphere and vibe to this track
With some really good lead guitar that builds as the song progresses. Definitely an enjoyable listen  that
Despite the length  stays interesting and engaging!

lillypilly

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« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2019, 01:54:37 AM »
Totally love the introduction that is what drew me in and through the whole song, I don't want to fault it as I like it very much

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2019, 09:25:46 PM »
I don't have much to add. I studied the lyric for a while before I listened, and I was not able to imagine how it could fit into a musical setting. It seemed so lacking in structure--I couldn't identify verses, choruses or bridges.

Then I looked at the song on SoundCloud and thought, "Oh no! I can't listen to one song for 8 minutes!" But I did. I confess I did it in shifts; I had some interruptions and had to pause a few times, but I made it to the end.

I love the guitars and I really like the way you build it up as you go. I'm still a little hesitant about the length, though I don't know where you could shorten it. I mean, I know it could be shortened, but would the song suffer? It might.

That's all I have.

Vicki

Inanité_sonore

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« Reply #5 on: August 05, 2019, 08:18:35 PM »
Hi,
It's a real piece of work. I didn't think I'd listen to the eight minutes either, but really, we're not bored. The voice is really superb and the track progresses admirably to the solo guitar which is also mastered even if we could have feared that it would do a little too much, but this is not the case. It goes well with the voice. The only things that bothered me (but that sound of the details) was the sound of the drums at first, which sounds a little too VST compared to the rest that is really organic, then maybe also the rhythm on the guitar a little approximate around 1'36 but maybe it's me who hears badly.
In short, excellent work!

IS
« Last Edit: August 05, 2019, 08:23:07 PM by Inanité_sonore »

PaulyX

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« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2019, 05:49:42 AM »
Hi, I thought this was very elegant.  It builds subtly throughout, none of the transitions are jarring, and there is lots of excellent guitar work.  It starts off folky and has evolved into a prog track by the end.  I was impressed by the lack of rhymes in the lyrics, I didn't think that would work but it did.  The length: yeah, I'd cut it back... 5 mins or so...  I made it to the end of course but in the first half I was wanting it to evolve more quickly.  Lyrically I'm not really sure what it is about but that's OK - a bit like a freeform poem.  You don't have repeating lines or a chorus as such, so I didn't get a 'hook' lodged in my brain by the end, but like I said at the start, it has an overall elegance that is precious and I wouldn't tinker with too much.
It's all too beautiful.

t.wretborn

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« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2019, 08:01:56 AM »
Hi and thank you for your comments!

@jacksimmons
Yes! The phasing is most noticeable in the vocals but i also hear it in the lead guitars in the outro. But nice to hear that you liked the vocal sound :)
Yeah I won't work on it more.

@Bostonfan2
Thank you! Good that you found it interesting the whole way.

@lillypilly
Thank you :)

@CaliaMoko
Yes that was actually my plan with the lyrics, to not repeat. The lyric is written as a letter so it feels most natural that way to me. And I didn't want a traditional structure with a distinct chorus but rather sections that would lead in to each other. Hmm and the length.  I was thinking about that too but realised that I couldn't cut more than a minute without ruining the whole thing so I kept it long.

@Inanité_sonore
Thank you very much! I know what you mean with the drums. I think I have the little drum machine guy playing too hard in some sections. And the snare could use some better processing.

@PaulyX
Thank you! I'm happy too with the transitions, I think the song would collapse if they were any sharper. That makes it hard to cut off 5 minutes :P
I know it's long but the only way would be to cut it in two and make two songs but then they would be really weak and boring I think as the melodies are not so strong.

adamfarr

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« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2019, 09:15:03 AM »
It's highly listenable. I think you've really managed to pull off the build over the 8 minutes and kept it interesting. There's a slightly Celtic feel to it (maybe a little flavour of "Ride On"?) which I really like, and the slight swirly fuzziness gives it a bit of a live vibe.

Taste-wise, I thought the middle section before the guitar break (around 3' - 4'30" ish) wasn't as strong - I wondered whether you could skip that part (who knows). And being very critical, when the vocal gets more gain in the final part then the quality deteriorates a bit more.

But it's really quite an accomplishment and a really nice piece of work.

MichaelA

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« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2019, 06:40:11 AM »
Your vocal style was quite reminiscent of old Peter Sarstedt I thought and yes, maybe its time for a new narrative, acoustic artist to come along to charm us.

I thought it was all going to delicate acoustic but the subtle rock build really works too and was quite a surprise. But once the rock thing was in full flow I felt the song lost a bit of its well built up enchantment, although I have to say you did morph the genres well.

Ver accomplished, and quite an achievement to hold my attention for eight minutes I can tell you!

cowparsleyman

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« Reply #10 on: August 10, 2019, 08:57:49 AM »
Writing this as I hear it for the frist time...

Like the Vocal presentation, nice and strong, grows well, drums sound OK, strat sound solo gtr sounds cool, love the room verb. (tell me about the guitar gear you used, nice indeed)

You probably know that I'm rubbish with lyrics, I have no idea what the story is about, I'm always listening to the guitars and production...

Sometimes the production is a little busy from around 6:00..I began to lose interest, only the superb guitar soloing kept me there)

btw love the picture of you on the table...

Hope it helps...

Younger Hills

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« Reply #11 on: August 10, 2019, 08:07:03 PM »
The emotions and atmosphere are awesome in this song! I'm a big sucker for long songs, and this song doesn't feel like 8 minutes, cause you have made the most of every second throughout this song. The drums kick in at the perfect time, and then the electric comes in and there's a beautiful solo on top of it :) Fantastic!

Well done!

Cheers
Where the Hills are young, the Souls are old

https://soundcloud.com/lukearmstrongmusic

t.wretborn

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« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2019, 11:21:51 AM »
@adamfarr
Thank You! I know what you mean with the vocals in the final part. I first struggled to bring them out, I tend to be very dynamic when I sing in a higher pitch, the end result sounds a bit like the vocals are in a can. I think the singing is the least fun part of recording and I think I should spend more time on that.

@cowparsleyman
Thanks! I have very little guitar gear. It's just my strat plugged in to logic. I'm rubbish at making guitar sound from scratch so I use logics pre-sets and make small changes, EQ, compression,  reverb etc.

@Younger Hills
Thank you very much! I have really worked the song bar by bar trying to make the most of it without overdoing it. Nice you noticed that :)

crystalsuzy

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« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2019, 11:43:52 AM »
WOW! Well listening to this track was an amazing journey, and I thoroughly enjoyed all 8 mins of it :o I got a bit of a Celtic vibe as well as Pink Floyd
Love how the song builds, although I really liked the softer feel of the first half...the acoustic guitar was lovely. I listened through this twice. the first time I didn't follow the lyrics, the 2nd time I did. they are beautifully written, but I'm not sure if I'm really catching the full meaning. the last part seems as if he's dying, but I could be totally off. Your vocals are amazing and I think you've done an great job arranging and producing this track 8)

shadowfax

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« Reply #14 on: August 11, 2019, 05:17:39 PM »
A nicely balanced and tastefully done track my friend, I think you could've used the I will not see the sunrise again a bit earlier and maybe repeated it later as a sort of chorus...nevertheless..superb track :) :) 8) 8)