Antidote

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Sterix

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« on: July 28, 2019, 01:53:57 PM »
I haven't written anything for a while - had one of those phases where I lost a bit of interest. But my songs won't (re)write themselves so I'm trying to give my motivation a kick up the ass...

This came about from the title popping to my head and just going from there.



Verse
What is the use painting fairy-tale scenes
When the end of the day brings you into my dreams?
Though I try to stay strong my defences get breached
And you’re there with a smile cos you know that I’m beat

Pre-chorus
You are the poison that runs through my veins
You rush through my heart and it can’t take the strain

Chorus
But it’s all just a game
You get off on my pain
And I’m drawn like a moth to your fire
Much too late to retreat
Just one thing that I need
That’s the antidote to my desire

Verse
When did my world that once turned as it should
Start to turn into madness and rivers of blood?
I was sure of myself and these feelings for you
So where did it go wrong? How the Hell was I screwed?

Pre-chorus
Kiss me again cos it’s all that I know
The poison runs deep and drains all my hope

Chorus
But it’s all just a game
You get off on my pain
And I’m drawn like a moth to your fire
Much too late to retreat
Just one thing that I need
That’s the antidote to my desire

INSTRUMENTAL

Verse
You’ve cast a spell and I cannot break free
I am tied to your strings like a puppet on heat
And I dance to your tune though I can’t stand the beat
What the hell have you done? What has happened to me?

Pre-chorus
Nothing else matters but needing you here
The thought of you gone is just too much to bear

Chorus
But it’s all just a game
You get off on my pain
And I’m drawn like a moth to your fire
Much too late to retreat
Just one thing that I need
That’s the antidote to my desire

Chorus
Yes it’s all just a game
I don’t know how to play
When the rules seem to change on a whim
But the poison you feed
Is the poison I need
And no antidote truly exists

Alt. chorus
Bring an end to this game
Or I’ll go up in flames
There’s no antidote that I could take
That can save me from you...
Cos this poison that flows through my veins
Is me still loving you…
Then darkness fell
As the 1st God and the 2nd burned in hell
And all alone
Stood the 3rd God looking wearied to the bone


- War of the Gods : ©2005 Sterix

CaliaMoko

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« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2019, 12:50:18 AM »
I think this is awesome! It's very clever. I love the antidote approach to the..umm, is this urequited love?...theme.

I have two comments:

1. I don't get the line about the "puppet on heat". I don't know what that means.

2. And the three choruses at the end. The first read-through sounded like you lost your rhyme scheme, which was so consistent until the second of those three choruses. However, after some consideration, I think "whim" and "exists" counts as a near rhyme which is suitable for this song.

In sum, this is delightful.

Sterix

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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2019, 02:28:40 AM »
Just to clarify "puppet on heat". In this case it's alluding to a "puppet on strings" but the singer feels a more primeval connection to the "puppet master" (or mistress!) than mere strings. There's a more "needy" element to it. So, just as dogs can be on heat, that's how the "puppet" sees it.

Hope that clarifies it.

As for therhyming, yes I was rhyming "whim" and "exists". The third one, by the way, I called an alternative chorus as it starts out like the other choruses in the first two lines but then transitions into a longer third line, which slows down to an end. In that one lines 3 and 5, and 4 and 6 are the rhymes.
Then darkness fell
As the 1st God and the 2nd burned in hell
And all alone
Stood the 3rd God looking wearied to the bone


- War of the Gods : ©2005 Sterix

hardtwistmusic

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« Reply #3 on: August 01, 2019, 06:40:43 AM »
For an American (and probably Canadian) audience, that would be a "puppet IN heat."   
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