[kaalbas]

Hey there.

I hope someone could help me with the grammar for these lyris and maybe give some feedback.

Through the fire

Verse 1

I've made my peace. I'm letting go
Of everything that I know

Pre-chorus

It's too late to turn around
Burn it to the Ground
Yeah
I won't let this be the end
I will rise again
Rise again

Chorus

I will make it through the fire
I Will Reach and touch the sky
I Will make it through the fire
All the way to paradise

Verse 2

I have to do what's in my heart
Even when Things Falls apart

Pre-chorus

Chorus

Bridge/solo

Chorus

[CaliaMoko]

I'm pretty picky about grammar and I don't see anything wrong with these lines. For the most part they seem to be tight and effective. One line I might spend more time on is 2nd line of the 1st verse: "Of everything that I know". Based on the rhythm of the rest of the piece, I suspect this line might feel a little awkward and off balance as it sits. You could make it match by saying something like "Of things and people that I know" or (even better in my opinion) "Of things and people I have known". That second option does two things. It matches the rhythm pattern AND it introduces a near rhyme (instead of a perfect rhyme) which is an unstable element. Your song has an "unstable" theme, so this would support that.

You could even go in a different direction altogether and say something like "And let my thoughts and feelings flow". So many possibilities.

Just some ideas for you to use or lose as the spirit moves you. I hope I've been at least a little helpful.

[kaalbas]

Thank you so much. I really appriciate it. I've been spending so much time writing the lyrics. I always get stuck, because I want too much, instead of keeping it simple. I have never finished one song, so I hope this is finaly it. What do you think about this sentence: "Of everything I've ever known"? Thanks Michael

[CaliaMoko]

...What do you think about this sentence: "Of everything I've ever known"?...

I like it a lot.

[kaalbas]

Hello again

I've made a small change to the second verse. I wasen't satisfied with the second line.  I hope you would give your opinion. :-)

"I have to do what's in my heart
It's time to make a brand new start"

Thanks Michael

[CaliaMoko]

Yes, I think that's an improvement,  but I think you can do better yet. "Brand new start" has been used a lot. I'd like to hear something more original. But it's ok as is and that's just me.

A coue ideas that might jog your mind to come up with something else...
Otherwise I'll fall apart
Or surely I will fall apart

I'm pretty sure something better is out there.

[kaalbas]

What about:

"I don't know what or who to blame
but I won't hold on to this pain"

[CaliaMoko]

@kaalbas I like that. But keep in mind, you definitely don't need to please me. Lots of people will have different opinions and mine is likely not the best one.